Secret
by MyMcDreamy
Summary: Kim didn't want to return to Angel Grove, but a call for help by one of her beloved friends sends her back. Tommy looked anything other than pleased to see her. Kimberly and Tommy both face emotional dilemmas when she reveals the truth behind the 'letter'
1. Prologue

**"Secret" ** **  
Summary: Kimberly did not want to return to Angel Grove, ever, but a call for help by one of her most beloved friends sends her back. Tommy, her one and only love, looked anything other than pleased to see her. Kimberly and Tommy both face emotional dilemmas when she finally reveals the truth behind 'the letter'.**

**Tommy and Kim are around 27 years old.**

**Note - I'm not new to writing stories and I take it seriously. This will be the shortest chapter I probably ever write and I'm only putting it out there as means of setting up for what is to come. I'm not sure how often I'll update, but hopefully readers will be receptive to me and my story. Happy reading and please review!!**

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**Prologue**

Stepping off the two hour flight from Colorado, her layover for nearly three hours after flying from New York, Kimberly Hart looked an utter mess. Her normally tamed, brown locks were heaved up on a messy ponytail, barely any hair really staying in place. Aside from day-old mascara, the girl's face was make-up free, completely donning everything natural about her. Though still beautiful, her youth had long since gone, leaving behind heavy bags and sagging cheeks on her porcelain skin.

"Hey!"

The friendly voice made Kimberly smile, a rarity over the past several years. Jason Scott, one of her closest friends and a former ranger, smiled as he beckoned her over. Before Kimberly even got a chance to speak, the man pulled her into a fierce bear hug.

"Whoa?" she breathed, smiling into his shoulder.

"I've missed you, Kim. How are you?" he asked, now pushing her back at an arm's length, staring intently into her guarded eyes.

Smiling sweetly, she said, "I'm doing alright. I'm um...I just want to see him."

Jason didn't need to be told twice. Grabbing her light bag and throwing it casually over his shoulder, the two walked out, his other arm draped over her petite frame, reaching his red jeep in the parking lot.

The ride felt awkward for them both given neither really knew what to say. Well, she did, but refused to do it. She would have had to talk about what happened all those years ago, something which still plagued her every thought. Jason knew, surprisingly, but neither of them brought it up strictly because it risked everyone else finding out. Though she knew she'd have to be honest with friends in order to gain their trust back, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Shame. The shame kept her from admitting what she really wanted.

"So..."

Kimberly rolled her eyes at Jason's bad attempt to get her to speak. Jason, a relatively quiet guy, rarely did know what to say in this sort of situation. What could the guy do? He was driving the girl who broke his best friend's heart, for reasons still unbeknownst to any of them save him, to see her old friends who barely knew her anymore. Jason only knew about it because of an encounter long ago, one in which he had saved her from death. She had made him promise that night to never tell anyone, _especially_ Tommy, what he now knew. And he never did.

"We'll be there soon. Do you have any idea of what you're going to say—"

"Jason I'm only here because of a silly pact we made when we were younger," she interjected sharply, "and I have no intention of staying longer than need be. He is sick and wanted me here, so I'm here. Once he is better, I'm gone. End of story."

Again, silence was welcomed in the car.


	2. Chapter 1: Delirium

I know, I know. Another relatively short chapter (at least from my point of view), but I assure you, the chapters to follow will usually be significantly longer. I don't like reading short chapters so why burden others with them? Anyway, all of this is leading to 'the secret' which, I'm sorry to inform you, won't be revealed for some time. However, you all are more than welcome to guess what it is (I love when people take that kind of initiative) though don't expect me to tell you if you're correct.

Reviews are appreciated!

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**Delirium - Chapter 1**

"How you feeling, buddy?" asked Tommy, sitting in the empty chair next to the hospital bed, unfastening his tie he wore to his science classes. Billy, hooked up to about a half-dozen machines, smiled wanly and shrugged. Taking off his jacket to get more comfortable in his seat, he sighed, "It'll be over soon and then you get to go back to everything. We're all here for you."

Billy had been diagnosed with cancer a few months back and currently fighting the disease, hard, with various treatments and chemotherapy. To be more specific, the cancer in particular was a malignant brain tumor, one which Billy figured had 'ironic' written all over it. Doing it all alone took a toll on the intelligent man, but after using the genius mind he'd been given, he decided it was time to tell his closest friends. The earliest rangers, most of whom, albeit from Kimberly, had maintained contact, were there for the original blue ranger in an instant. Billy felt overwhelmed by how they'd come together in light of his illness, all pulling for him to get better. With this sort of clan and kinship there, he knew he'd pull through. He just had to.

"Kim is suppose to be coming today," said Billy with a sly smile, noting how Tommy's ears burned a crimson hue along the outer tips.

Tommy nodded, trying to look like her mere name didn't bother him. "Yeah, I think Jason is picking her up now. I'll bet she can't wait to see you."

"Right. I'm sure it's me she wants to see," smirked Billy, loving the shade of pink Tommy began to turn. He never said it, he didn't really need to; they all knew he still thought about her. Sure, there had been plenty of other girls, but none of them had charmed his heart quite like Kim had. Who could blame him? He'd been smitten with her from the moment they'd met. Then the infamous letter came...well, the relationship ended and Tommy never really forgave Kim for that.

Truth be told, Tommy was not the sort of person who worried himself over something like love. He believed in relationships with all his heart, never being one for the everyday one-night stand, but love was currently not high on his priority list. With a PhD in Paleontology and a job as a science teacher at Reefside Highschool, Tommy's plate was filled with research and work. Not to mention, he forced himself to balance being the head of the Dino Thunder Power Rangers. In fact, just being at the hospital with Billy and taking several days off of work pushed him back. Nonetheless, he'd do it for any of his fellow "former" rangers - even Kim.

"Look, I don't need any of you saying anything about us. We're both long since over each other, alright? It'll be a bit awkward, but I definitely think we're mature enough to—"

"Oh spare me," snarled Billy. Tommy's brows raised, shocked at Billy's abnormal raise in tone. He expected that type of outburst from Aisha, maybe even Rocky, but not from Billy. "I know you're going to want to act like an ass while she is here, but don't. For me, just keep everything civil with her. I understand you're pissed, but I need you to act like the charming guy we all know you can be."

"Something has got your panties in a twist," quipped Tommy, his face belying his comedic words. A passive man at heart, Tommy never was one for confrontation off the battlefield. He generally took things in stride, never being one to initiate or rebuff. Well, except for when it came to Miss Kimberly Hart - what he assumed was still Miss. Come to think of it, he really didn't know her anymore. She could have been married with five kids for all her knew. Even so, she was the only person who could get under his skin like a deadly insect crawls and, in spite of that, mesh with his heart like interlacing fingers, a soft, welcomed gesture.

"I asked Kimberly to be here and I want her here. She is known for running off when things get too complicated for her to handle so please don't say anything to upset her. Be civil."

"Yes, mother," grunted Tommy vexingly. Normally Tommy would never speak to anyone, let alone Billy, like that, but he felt off centered. He needed to go home and relax. Perhaps after he finished up there, he'd ask Jason to spar, just enough to calm his nerves down. Karate was still the only thing which could settle his jittery tension.

"So," said Billy, an attempt to pass the gauche mood, "I uh...how is everything going in Reefside? Having spent my own analogous time in the classroom laboratory, I can only imagine how exasperating and arduous it must have been to relocate for this transitory state."

"You're doing it again," laughed Tommy, shaking his head at Billy's flustered babbles. Whenever Billy felt rattled and perturbed, he would revert to his old speaking patterns, ones which usually involved a vast ocean of vocabulary most could not comprehend or even knew existed. While Tommy understood his question perfectly, he knew once the others arrived, or came back, they'd have a much more difficult time understanding. He could only imagine what Rocky would do if Billy went off on him like that. Tommy started laughing again at the thought.

"Sorry," replied Billy sheepishly.

"You have nothing to apologize for, buddy, and yes, you're right. It's tough to leave my students, but you're my friend and fellow ranger. I'd do anything for you."

"That's good to know," smiled Billy, leaning back against his firm pillow. "I uh...you haven't heard from Trini yet, have you?"

There was so much hope in his voice and an almost boyish quality, one nearly spelling out the word shy, S-H-Y, directly into the open abyss of the hospital room. Unlike Tommy, a man who use to wear his heart on his sleeve when it came to the love of his life, Billy never admitted his feelings to Trini before it was too late. She left long before he'd even come to terms with them himself. It amazed his fellow rangers that a man of such vast intellect could not voice coherent thoughts when it came to a girl.

"No, I still haven't spoken to her. I think Zach said he'd call her again once he landed. He should be here in any minute now.

"Oh." It was all the man could manage. 'Oh' encompassed his feelings well enough.

"Billy, it will—"

"So how are the new rangers?" interjected the man sharply, informing Tommy that he had no intention to bring Trini back up again (at least, until she arrived...maybe? Hopefully?). "I'm sure with you as their mentor, they must be doing great."

Tommy smiled. "Yeah, they're an incredible group of kids. Conner, the red ranger, definitely has a flare for reminding me of Rocky. Kid and our boy are one in the same when it comes to putting his foot in his mouth."

"There will always be a Rocky in the group. I think it's kind of like the inevitable considering even Jason had his own bouts of blunders during his time being the one in red," joked Billy in good humor.

"What would Jason say if he heard that?" asked Tommy, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

Billy never got a chance to reply because, speak of the devil, Jason walked in followed by none other than young Kimberly Hart. Her first glance went toward Tommy as if on instinct, the man who looked away, before she smiled warmly at Billy.

"Hey, you," she whispered, placing a gentle and loving kiss on his forehead. Billy returned the gesture, taking one of her small, pale hands in his own. "How are you doing?" she asked, concern dripping off her tongue.

"I'm alright. I'm glad to see you here. I wasn't sure whether you were going to come or not," he admitted honestly.

Kim smiled and whispered, "Rangers forever. I'd never not come, for any one of you." After placing another gentle kiss against his forehead, she heard a distinct sigh from behind her, no doubt in her mind who it had come from. Tommy. He was still mad and his slight huff toward her, though immature, could not have been more deserved. Even she could admit to that.

"Hey Tommy," she murmured, turning her attention toward the tall toned man. He shrugged a 'hello' and then looked over at Billy.

"Look Billy, I've got to run," he said, pretending to actually look and care about the time flashing on his black watch; "I've still got to check into my hotel and freshen up a bit. I smell like my classroom, but I'll be back in a few hours or so."

The former blue ranger nodded, smiling genuinely. "I understand. Thanks for being here."

Tommy nodded, shot Kimberly another childish glare, and then left without another muttered word.

"I see he still hates me," she whispered sadly once the door shut with grim finality.

Billy shook his head, annoyed at his friend's haste and unnecessary mistreatment of his other dear friend, before he said, "No. I don't think it's hate, but just...bitterness. He'll come around, Kim. I'm sure of it."

"Probably not in time to tell me so. I'll be leaving soon."

"But I thought...that..." Billy broke off, unsure of what to say or even if he should. Knowing Kim the way he did, even if he were to beg, she wouldn't stay if she felt in her heart that it was wrong. Kim was never one to stick around when the going got tough, especially when it involved Tommy.

0000000

It would be a good half an hour before anyone spoke again and it surely was not Kimberly who did the initiating.

"What made you come back to Angel Grove?" asked Jason, his question directed at Billy. Kimberly raised her gaze, curious about the answer herself. _Why? Why of all places would he choose to come back here? I understand it was our childhood home, but surely there are better places? Aren't there, Mister Genius?_

"It seemed fitting," replied Billy easily, like it was the most rational, obvious thing in the world.

"Fitting?" echoed Jason with a questioning quality.

"Fitting, yes. You see," began Billy, taking the opportunity to sit himself up against the headboard, putting up his hand in order to refrain Jason from helping; "growing up here was only wonderful because I knew I had the greatest friends in the entire world. Sure, we spent most of our time fighting off Rita's evil monsters, Zedd's constant attacks, and don't even get me started on Ivan..."

"Your point?"

"Point is, this place is home. Even though you're off in northern Napa, I'm normally in Boston, and Kimmie is up in Jersey...this place is still home. Right?"

"Wrong," sighed Kimberly, albeit it was meant for herself rather than the entire room. Nonetheless, the two men sitting beside her heard it with a distinct amount of pure clarity.

"Pardon?" asked Billy, making Jason stifle a laugh. _Has that even been said to him? Kim, you're too much. You just told the smartest man we know he is wrong. I am going to hug you for that one later._

"Huh?"

"Did you just say I was wrong?" inquired Billy, suddenly sounding like an injured child.

"Oh," she sighed, not really taking into account who she was talking to. At this point, jumbles flew out of her mouth, almost like it was a release; like sucking poison from a wound. "I just don't think of Angel Grove as home. I wish I could, but I can't. I guess after leaving for Florida and having my life turn upside down, my friends abandoning me, and the only person I've ever cared for hating me...I guess it no longer has an idyllic aura for me anymore."

Jason dropped his gaze having become, in that short duration, very interested in looking at the laces of his shoes. Billy, on the other hand, maintained his firm stare, unable to shift his gaze at all.

For her part, Kimberly appeared catatonic, unaware she had even spoken those words aloud. She was in a daze, a delirium, still thinking about that well-built man walking out of the room, leaving her alone in the wake.

_Why did I come back_, she asked herself. A second later, it dawned on her with a horrifying realization that she'd said it aloud. Along with this, came an even greater flood of alarming comprehension of what she'd said moments before. _My goodness, what in the hell is the MATTER with me?! Kimberly Hart - keep your mouth SHUT from now on!_

"You came back here," started Jason, sounding like he finally had lost his cool, breaking Kim away from her thoughts about the situation at hand; "because Billy needs you. What's more, you are not leaving until he is better. Is that understood?"

Kimberly, hearing a slight bit of uncertainty behind a false bravado, realized Jason held onto the bluff of being the head ranger with each passing day. Sure, he spoke harshly in hopes of getting her to understand the significance of his words, but she knew him better - she knew him better than most would ever know. Jason had been her rock, the only one who'd forgiven her for the letter (Billy had yet to acknowledge the paper in question. She figured - correctly - that he was still peeved over it), and the only one who still knew she cared about Tommy the way she did. Billy, the bright and intelligent man, was starting to catch on, but did not recognize the need Kimberly felt over Tommy like Jason did. So, getting back to the point, Jason came off callously, but he could only hope she'd listen to his words. He wanted her to stay - needed her to stay, even.

For if she left too soon, he feared the truth would never be revealed to Tommy, his other best friend.

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Sitting on the edge of his hotel bed wrapped in nothing, but a white towel...Tommy contemplated. He thought long and hard about the situation / mess, he was currently in. _Damn it_, he thought vexingly, _why did she have to come? I could have stood anyone else other than her. Hell, I would have LOVED seeing anybody other than her and yet..._

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to admit how his legs had turned to mint jelly in her presence and the mere sight of her glazed his eyes over.

_Why?_

"I still love her," he breathed, a sense of utter dismay clinging to the roots of his deep voice. "I'm still in love with her."


	3. Chapter 2: If Only He Knew

I'm terrible!! I know this given I started this story, wrote two chapters back to back, and then leave everyone hanging for such a LONG time! I know that was bad, I admit it freely. However, if you guys can forgive me then I can assure you to update MUCH MORE FREQUENTLY from here on out. Truth be told - a mixture of my Tommy memory (lol, I swear I'm worse than Tommy Oliver when it comes to remembering things - in other words, I genuinely forgot about the story) and boredom over the topic held me back from updating. However, I recently watched an episode and read a story of PR and my love for it has been renewed. Yay! The chapters will come and the secret will get revealed soon. Again, sorry for the delay!!

BTW - All of the reviews were awesome!

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**If Only He Knew - Chapter 2**

"Why don't you stay with me tonight?" asked Jason as they entered the cafeteria. Kimberly, who had been engrossed heavily in staring at her petite feet walking on the white tiles, shot up to look at him as though he'd just said the most insulting thing.

"What?" he asked perplexed.

"Stay with you? Jason—"

"Not like that you nut," he laughed, shaking his head at the girl. "What I meant is that I don't understand your logic in staying at a hotel. I'm crashing at my parent's house while they're off in Japan this week and I think you should do the same. No sense in paying the money when I'm giving you free room and board."

Kimberly sighed, resuming her activity in staring at her pink flats. "Thanks for the offer, but I couldn't impose on you like that."

"Impose? Kimmie I'd love for you to stay with me. That big ol' house used to give me the creeps and it still does! Imagine what I would be like if I were there all by myself."

She laughed. She gave a full, honest laugh and Jason couldn't have been more pleased. Seeing her chortle mirthfully, the kind of laugh that reached her eyes, brought a smile to his face. She rarely smiled and when she did, the smiles usually dwindled before most could see. He loved her and knowing what happened to her...just about killed him.

Kimberly could see through him, however, knowing him the way she did. He didn't like her off alone at a time like this, especially in a place where she would be known to go: Angel Grove, the town she grew up in. _Him afraid of a big ass house? Right. He just wants to babysit me, that's all._

"It's not as though something would happen to you. Even if someone did break in, I'm sure they'd regret it. They'd have their ass handed to them if they took you on," she teased.

"Kimmie, I really want you there," he admitted. "Besides, I'm sure Rocky, Zach, and a few others will end up crashing there as well. It would end up being really fun and you could reconnect with all the rangers. It would be great for all of us."

"What if Katherine shows up?" asked Kimberly, unable to hold his gaze when they spoke.

"Kim—"

"The last encounter I had with her was not a good one. You know that and I'm pretty sure she's coming, no?"

Jason, annoyed that Kimberly was correct, submitted and nodded. Katherine...the girl had made assumptions about his dear friend, ones which Kimberly still hated herself over. Sure, if Kimberly was the girl who grew up in Angel Grove, she would have let them roll right off her shoulders. She never had been one to just take something or, at the very least, not talking something out. However, after what happened before she sent the letter, Kimberly took things to heart much to easily. When Jason thought about it, it wasn't really about forgiving Katherine for her harsh treatment of her (she had, after all, been dating Tommy at the time), but rather Kim's feelings of how "true" the words were. In other words - she blames herself for what happened and feels Katherine had every right to berate her.

Poor thing.

"Kimberly, please stay with me. I'd feel better by having you close with me. You know, in case something goes down."

"I knew it. You just want to monitor everything I do," murmured Kimberly hotly. "I know you want to think of me as some silly child, but I'm fin—"

"I'm not going to be sorry for worrying over you. Now, are you going to stay with me or what?" asked Jason, stopping in the middle of the hallway to meet her eyes. Kimberly huffed, reminding him for a moment of the girl he grew up with, before she pursed her lips and nodded. "Good. Now, let's get something to eat and then you'll call the hotel to cancel the reservations."

"Where will I sleep? I don't remember your parent's house having a guest room."

"It doesn't, but I'll take their bedroom and you can take mine. Trust me, I have the best bed in the house and you're the only one I'll give it up for."

Kimberly smiled as he wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulder and then pushed forward, smelling the unappealing hospital food from behind two white doors.

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Tommy returned to Billy's hospital room to find Jason and Kimberly in deep conversation with the man, laughing whole heartedly and all looking sixteen all over again. He smiled, though barely, and only suppressed it when he took the female into account.

Yes, he was being childish. He knew this - he was a scientist after all and even more, a realist - but that didn't quench his feelings on the matter. Normally he acted with more grace and maturity, a teacher and mentor to most. He regularly held a calm demeanor and sought out answers before judging something another did or said. Yet, he couldn't control himself on this occasion. Still angry over her rash and almost heartless treatment toward him, he just couldn't bring himself to behave naturally in her presence. _Why do I let her get to me? Curse her for still being able to get to me. She wrote that damn letter without regard to my feelings and then just acts like it never happen. Well, I'll be damned if I let anything go unsaid._

If only he knew that the letter was written with more of her love, regarded more about his own happiness than her own...if only he knew.

"Hey guys," he greeted once he realized he'd been standing there for two minutes and still hadn't moved.

"Hey buddy," said Jason with a smile, shaking his hand once Tommy approached the bed. "Kim was just telling us about this hilarious cab ride she had while in New York. Care to join in?"

"Nah, I'm not much for traveling. I usually don't take off on people so I'm not used to using cabs, you know?"

_Yeah, I know. Rather petty._

Tommy's snipe caught everyone's attention and immediately the laughter died, eyes falling on the former white ranger. Jason looked about ready to tackle his best friend while Billy just appeared flabbergasted, unsure if he'd heard right. Kim seemed heartbroken though her expression was nothing new; she always looked heartbroken these days.

"Anyway," continued Tommy lightheartedly, "I want to hear more about Billy and how you're doing in Boston. Research must be going well."

After a few seconds to regain composure, Billy began, "Yes, it's incredible really. My lab was just upgraded to fit in an entire range of moon rocks and so forth. I'm excited because..."

Tommy nodded as if on cue, acknowledging his friend, though he did notice when Kimberly got up and left the room. _Alright, so maybe that was a bit childish, but she deserved it! _Then, another side of his conscience spoke up, the immaturity becoming too much even for him. _Okay, Doctor Oliver, get over yourself. You said it yourself - you're both adults, you can handle having a platonic relationship._

"You done?"

Tommy snapped out of his daze and met Jason's eyes, ones which were filled to the icy brim with anger.

"Yeah," murmured Tommy sheepishly.

"Good. Start acting like an adult," reprimanded Jason, turning his attention back to Billy. "I don't give a damn about your reasons for being mad and I don't care whether or not you're here for her. I do know that I'll kick your ass from here to Reefside if you ever talk like that to her again."

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"Pull yourself together."

Kimberly stared at her somber reflection in the mirror, the water she'd thrown on herself mixing with the tears cascading from her eyes. The blotchy red marks marring her once pretty face gave the impression she'd walked in from a snow-day. Her hair held no life as it fell from her ponytail and strands cascaded down her flushed cheek. Kimberly appeared downright demented.

"He is just trying to get a rise out of you and crying won't help matters you big baby," she whimpered, frantically rubbing her swollen eyes with the back of her forearm. "Damn him..."

Certainly her feelings over Tommy were strong and not lessening, but that didn't mean his actions toward her weren't hurtful. If anything, having such strong feelings for him and having him treat her the way he was did even more damage to her very soul, pushing the ideas of lost hope even more.

"I shouldn't have come back here. I'm so stupid–"

"Is something wrong?"

Kimberly turned around to come face to face with a young girl wearing a blue hospital gown and lopsided pigtails. Burn scars disfigured the left side of her face and down along her neck and collarbone. Kimberly suppressed a shudder at the thought of what the poor girl must have gone through.

"No, darling, nothing is wrong," mumbled Kimberly, trying to give the girl her best smile. The small thing apparently didn't buy it.

"Are you sure? You look sad and your eyes are all red," she noted thoughtfully.

Kim looked down and away when she realized the girl caught her red-handed...or more like, red-eyed. Hastily cleaning her face with her hands already stained and wet with salty tears, she turned back to see the girl with her head cocked to the left, obviously taking Kim's appearance in and over.

"What's your name?" asked the girl, one who didn't seem any older than ten.

"Um...Kimberly. My name is Kimberly."

The brunette child smiled and held out a hand for Kimberly to shake as she introduced herself; "I'm Sara. It's nice to meet you."

Kimberly shook Sara's hand and inwardly cringed at seeing fried blisters and scalding marks all over her arm. Kimberly had a feeling that the hand she held once had beautiful olive flesh with beauty marks from wrist to elbow. She probably possessed plump, healthy cheeks which accentuated her lovely green eyes. _Goodness, they look jade; the color of a deep, tropical forest. _The child probably bore a body of loveliness at birth. To have it stripped from a fire seemed terribly unfair.

"You know," whispered Sara, her voice soft yet assertive, "someone like you shouldn't cry. You're far too pretty to let tears ruin your face."

Kimberly sighed, bent down on one knee, and stared up at the girl, one with wisdom well beyond her years.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

The girl shook her head, but Kimberly had none of that. She ceased the girl's head movements by saying, "Listen to me when I say you are. If I'm pretty then so are you."

"You're not like me," muttered Sara, bitterness and woe clenching Kimberly's heart.

"I am, actually. I'm just like you," admitted Kim, the same bitterness and woe clutching her tone. "Listen, something bad happened to me and that's why I was crying. Just like you...something_ really_ bad happened to me—" she couldn't bring herself to voice the 'something'—"but that doesn't mean that the inside has changed, right? You're beautiful and you need to know that."

A light, almost floaty nature suddenly overtook Sara and she smiled brighter than when she entered. Her smile must have been contagious for even Kimberly managed one back - small, but there. Sara replied, "I have a feeling that you're right. I also have a feeling that you need to take your own advice."

Kimberly didn't respond, the girl's final words bearing far too much truth to voice words.

0000000

Kimberly reentered Billy's room to find one more new person present from when she left it...

"TRINI!"

"Hey!" shouted the former yellow ranger, running to sweep Kimberly up in a warm, friendly embrace. Kimberly reciprocated with so much force that Trini actually had to pry her arms back in order for her to let go.

"I couldn't breathe," she laughed, running a hand through Kimberly's messy hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so glad to see you," admitted Kim, finding the statement more truthful than she dared admit in Florida. Trini had been one of her closest girlfriends growing up, one she felt comfortable depending on, so seeing her again renewed some hope still left inside her hollow heart.

"I'm glad to see you, too. I just got in which is great since apparently everyone thought I'd bail. I spoke to Zach at around four in the morning and jetted over here as soon as I could. Since I've arrived I've been speaking with the loveable Billy here. The man is crazy for leaving his lab for this place, yeah?" teased Trini, sitting on the edge of Billy's bed and giving him a mischievous wink. Billy blushed practically down to the roots of his hair yet Trini appeared more or less oblivious to this.

"I've been missing Ernie's shakes, what can I say?" he quipped.

Everyone in the room (which at this point included Kimberly, Trini, Billy, and Jason) laughed together, the tension leaving the room. Noting who surrounded them Kim realized the absence of Tommy. She wondered where he went off too, but didn't dare ask. She wasn't allowed to worry about Tommy anymore, he'd made that clear. (Probably for the best given Tommy left to call Kira, one of his current Rangers and make sure everything was on track at Reefside. He'd left his four Rangers in charge, along with Haley, but he felt terrible for doing so and slightly worried they wouldn't be able to handle everything without him.)

"So where you staying?" asked Kim hopefully.

"Where do you think? I'm catching some Z's at Jason's."

Kimberly sighed in relief, feeling grateful to have at least one female there. She loved Jason, and always would...more than just a pal, but as her brother. However, knowing someone was in the same confined location with her who didn't have a Y-chromosome somehow made her feel safer. Trini may not know her secret, but she didn't need to in order to help her.

"So are we bunking in the same bed? There is no way in hell that I'm sleeping on the couch," said Trini, a no-nonsense tone alerting the room the woman meant business. Kim nodded, secretly ecstatic to know she wouldn't be alone for the first time in years. If only they knew...no - she couldn't tell them. She'd never be able to tell them. Telling them would mean telling Tommy and she couldn't do that. She'd rather have him hate her for the letter than know the truth.

"So then who is sharing my bed?" whined Jason, eliciting another bout of laughter from the group. Billy murmured, "What am I? Chopped liver?"

Again, laughter brewed.

Kimberly could take this. Something about their mannerisms and way of making her feel home again truly allowed her to feel alive, to feel some love and friendship again.

Then Katherine entered the room.

Kimberly's laughter died instantaneously.

"Billy!" shouted the girl clad in a pink sweater and low-cut jeans, bumping into Kimberly as she passed the group. Trini turned a growl on the blonde who bent low to Billy in order to give him a sweet, simple hug. "It's so great to see you. How are you?"

"Care to explain why you bumped into my friend?" asked Trini, her temper rising faster than steam. Jason, too, stared at Katherine with slight distaste at her rude treatment of his friend.

In spite of this, Katherine continued to speak with Billy, ignoring the comments of those behind her.

"So how are you feeling? What have the doctors said?" she asked hurriedly (even with her ill-mannered treatment of Kimberly, her questions seemed genuine and sincere). Taking Billy's hand and continuing their conversation, the other previous Rangers stared at one another as if waiting for someone to speak up.

Trini finally asked, "So when are the others getting here? You know, Zach and Tommy?"

"Zach should probably be here tomorrow and Tommy is already here. He just left to make a phone call," said Jason, glancing down at his black-rimmed watch. He didn't have a particular reason for checking it other than keeping track of the time, realizing night would soon fill the sky.

"I'm just so glad to know everything is running smoothly," said Katherine sweetly, planting a kiss on Billy's forehead. She turned to face the crowd, gracing them with a stare for the first time since her arrival. She gave a quick scan from Trini to Jason to Kim, the final Ranger receiving a vicious glare. Trini had heard stories about Katherine, the Ranger who took over the position as Pink Ranger once Kimberly left to pursue her dreams. _Now that I think about it, I need to talk about that with her. Screw it, I'll wait until tonight._ Trini never cared for Katherine ever since she heard the nasty things she'd bellowed at Kimberly about. Where the hell did she get off saying something like that to Trini's friend? If the original Yellow Ranger had a say, she'd get a moment or two alone with Katherine to discuss the matter...there was the possibility that words might get exchanged after fists flew. Trini still had spunk and was just as feisty as she had been back when she wore the uniform of the Rangers.

"Again I'll ask this question and this time I want a damn answer, alright? Care to explain why you bumped into my friend?"

Katherine smirked, taking a look at Kimberly up and down. The original lady in pink appeared battered and ratty, two qualities nobody would have associated with the Kimberly Hart from Angel Grove High. _What happened to her?_ thought Katherine, concern actually mounting. Katherine may act bitchy toward the girl, but that didn't mean she was completely heartless. However, the focus centered on Trini at the moment and the woman acted as though she felt prepared to bash her head into a wall.

"I didn't mean to knock into her since I was merely walking by. You know, you really shouldn't stand in the aisle way between the door and everyone's favorite man's bed. You're bound to get stepped on, yeah?"

Kimberly didn't respond, but Trini sure as hell did...

"How dare you? I don't know what's got your panties in a knot, but don't take it out on Kim."

"Ladies—"

"My panties are only in a knot because this two-timing hussy broke the heart of someone I greatly care about!" retaliated Katherine, standing to her full potential, the two women eye level to each other.

"You guys—"

"I don't give a shit whether or not you're the Creator of all mankind at this point. You ever call Kim a hussy again, or any name for that matter, I'll shove my boot so far up your—"

"TRINI! KAT!"

Billy's hoarse cry ceased the arguments between the women, both sheepishly meeting his eyes in a dual apology. He sighed and muttered, "I understand you're both pissed off at each other. Jason and I get that. Interestingly enough, however, if my assumptions are correct and I have no doubt what-so-ever that they are, you're fight regards one Kimberly Hart."

"Your point, Billy?" asked Trini.

"Only that the one in question has long since left the room," he informed the two, both looking around to realize Kimberly had indeed stepped outside.


	4. Chapter 3: Tommy's Gaffe

**Tommy's Gaffe**

"Kim?"

"Can I just go back to your place, Jason?" she asked, her voice so incredibly soft that he barely heard it. "A nurse said visiting hours are almost over and I'm really tired. I think...I think I'm just ready to crash."

"Whatever you want, Kim. I'll do whatever you want," muttered Jason, a nervousness in his voice. He actually felt terrified over the situation. Kim had the same dreary look on her face she had when he found out her secret. One which said 'well, it just figures, don't it', and he feared she'd leave for her home if he didn't get her calm.

Placing a comforting arm around her shoulder, the two walked back into the room to mutter a goodbye to Billy and grab Trini who, as she told Kimberly, planned on staying over at Jason's house. Neither of them acknowledged Katherine as they left, though, their third party shot her off a rude hand gesture before stepping out of the room.

The drive had been quiet and uncomfortable, Trini and Jason exchanging looks through the rearview mirror, unsure how to approach Kimberly. The lady in pink stared out the window, her hand resting in her palm, her elbow on the doorhandle. No tears, no sign of any, as far as they could tell, but she appeared somber and helpless.

Pulling into the graveled driveway, the large house surrounded by spongy, green grass, Kim couldn't suppress the smile at remembering the place from when she'd been younger. Jason and her went way back so the smell even brought about old memories, ones where nothing plagued her other than tomorrow's homework or doing the dishes later in the evening. Nothing like the problems in her life at the present time.

"Kim?"

"Yeah?" she squeaked, jumping up from her seat from being startled. Jason patted her shoulder in consolation, a sheepish smile on his face which Kimberly shook off. "Sorry, I'm fine. What did you say?"

"I said we're here."

Kimberly stepped out of the jeep to see chipped pieces of red paint missing from the outer rims. It almost brought a smile to her at thinking of her friend taking his car off road, trailing in mountains and dirt, embracing the sounds of branches and rocks scratching up the exterior. She'd always respected and loved that about Jason; his lack of stress over things which normally drive people insane. He just didn't get mad when someone forgot to call him back, when his shoelaces kept coming untied, and he certainly didn't care when a little paint fell off his truck during a time he enjoyed himself.

"You coming?" asked Trini standing next to Jason, both pink and yellow bags in his hands.

Kimberly made no attempt to respond, but instead closed the heavy door and followed her friends inside of the house.

"Time warp," whispered Trini in awe.

"I know," agreed Jason, dropping their bags in the entryway. "They never change anything, I swear. Just hold on for a sec. I'm gonna order a couple of pizzas for us and then I'll be back. You know once Zach gets here then we'll need some pizza for him."

Trini laughed, but Kimberly remained stoic, staring at some of the pictures in the livingroom.

"Feels weird being back, yeah?"

Kimberly turned to face the girl she grew up with, an attempt at a friendly smile faltering miserably.

"I was just trying to make conversation," said Trini.

Kimberly nodded, resumed staring at the photos, and asked, "When did everything change, Trini? When did we all lose sight of...I don't know. Being us?"

"Being us...or being Power Rangers?" countered the black-haired girl, dropping onto the comfortable black couch in the middle of the room. Kimberly made no effort to respond which allowed Trini to continue; "I think we started to lose sight of being us when we decided to leave each other. I'm not dogging anyone considering I was...you know, one of the first to leave, but...I don't know. I guess we lost it all when we gave up our power coins."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," agreed Kimberly, picking up one of her favorite pictures. She stood next to Jason and Tommy, flanked in the middle with their arms around her. The typical attire of their uniform color made the picture a blend of red, pink, and green; though the brightness of their smiles outshone their colors. She finally questioned, "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?" asked Trini absent-mindedly, running her long fingers through her hair.

"Giving up your coin," she whispered, turning around and looking her friend in the eye. "Do you regret giving up being the yellow Ranger?"

A heavy sigh filled the room before a pause, the question sinking underneath the girl's skin and affecting her to the core. Trini had never been asked the question and...well, to be honest—"Every damn day."

"Really?"

"I didn't think I would," admitted Trini, letting her head fall back with a clunk, "but then again, who would have though we'd do that for most of our teenage years? It's as surreal now as it was back then."

Kimberly couldn't have agreed more. When the powers were initially given to them...hell, if she woke up with her tongue sewn to the roof of her mouth, she wouldn't be more surprised then she was at that moment. Powers? Power Rangers? Zordon? All of it defied not only physics, but everything she'd been raised to believe. Even after using the powers and fighting off monsters and putties like she did for years, it sometimes still felt like it had been one big dream - something to hold on to from her childhood. Then her mind would wander, remember, and...Kimberly shuddered though Trini seemed more or less oblivious.

"Oh well. It doesn't bode well to cry over spilt Ivan Ooze considering we wouldn't be doing it now anyway, right?"

Trini's words appeared strong and true, but Kimberly couldn't clench the reason for why she didn't find those words of any comfort. Something about it seemed wrong...

"Pizza will be here in twenty. Until then we can watch a flick, ladies." Jason strode into the room and plopped down next to Trini, her head falling on his shoulder. "Any particular movie you two wanna watch? You say some stupid chick flick than I'm going to kill you..."

"Hey! What's wrong with chick flicks?" asked Trini with a tone of mock-anger. Kimberly smiled as she played witness to their little feud.

"I refuse to sit through some stupid...la-di-da story about some stupid guy who wants the stupid girl, but can't because he isn't good enough for her and doesn't even notice the stupid better-looking girl who lives next door who is far too beautiful to be single and wants him, but can't tell him and tries to help him get the stupid hot girl and in so doing the stupid guy realizes he had the stupid girl he wanted all along _cause she lived next door_! It's stupid!"

Jason huffed, having said all that in one breath alone. Trini and Kimberly both giggled brightly, slapping him playfully as the two jumped on their friend.

Maybe things could get better.

_Maybe, _Kimberly hoped,_ everything will get better...for me._

How terribly wrong she was.

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"Billy, you look better today!"

"Trini, don't lie to me," he told her, his smile belying his words. The woman wearing a yellow sun-dress raced up to engulf him in a gentle hug. When she let him go, he couldn't help but grin. "Yellow? Trini...I thought we all moved on from the whole _wear our colors at all times _phase."

Trini pulled a face and said, "Shut up, Billy. I just thought that since our colors always brought us luck when we were Rangers...maybe it'll bring us luck now. For you."

Billy's heart swelled, his face flushing at her words. She grasped his hand just as Kimberly, Jason, and Zach all came in.

"Hey buddy!" said the former black Ranger and dance-extraordinaire. Slapping Billy's hand easily, an embrace common amongst the male Rangers, he asked, "How you feeling?"

"Eh...it's a day by day thing, you know?"

They all nodded in collective agreement and that's when Jason asked, "Where's Tommy? I thought he'd be here."

"He was. He left about ten minutes ago. Said he had to think or something, I don't know," Billy shrugged.

"Oh my goodness!" screeched Trini, startling everyone in the room. "Billy doesn't know something?! Get a doctor immediately. Obviously something has spread throughout his entire body for him to make such an admission!"

"You...you..."

"And he has no comeback?!" asked Trini. She threw her hand against her forehead and fell back on the bed in mock faint, everyone in the room, including Billy, cracking up at her display. This was precisely what Billy needed. He didn't need doctors swarming around him every moment nor did he need people lying to him that nothing was wrong. He needed his friends to just be there, and to be themselves.

The hours passed along and joke after joke filled the silence of what should have been a joyless setting. Zach even broke out some moves if only to get Billy to spit out his water, spraying Trini in the process. She just about threw him out the window for that one. Katherine entered a while later and joined the conversation, Trini still pissed about how she'd treated Kim the prior day. However, the focus remained on laughter and the day passed splendidly because of it, others joining all the while. Before long, Rocky and Aisha had joined, Rocky's antics firing up the chuckles further. It turned out to be a pleasant day.

"Kim?"

Suddenly everyone turned their attention away from Rocky's display and realized that Kimberly had left, not a word spoken.

"When did she leave?" asked Aisha.

"More importantly, _where_ did she go?" hissed Jason, his stomach tightening at his own words.

0000000

"I thought I might find you out here," she whispered, standing behind him as he watched the sun setting beautifully.

"I come here to be alone. You know, you used to respect that," he snarled harshly, making something inside her twitch sadly. Yes, he had every right to be angry, but damn it - it didn't keep it from hurting!

After leaving the hospital to embark on finding Tommy, she'd ran into some trouble before she finally decided to check_ their _place. She loved Angel Grove Park, especially their particular spot where they enjoyed their first date. She'd give anything to go back to that day, to rewind the moment if only to feel his lips brush over hers again. 'Forget regret' used to flow out of her mouth as if on instinct. Now, well, she felt like a hypocrite for ever having said it.

"I won't pretend that I don't know why you're angry and I won't blame you either. I'd be angry with me, but I must say for someone who claims to be forgiving, you hold grudges worse than anyone I've ever met."

"Maybe I expected more out of you. Maybe I expected something more than just a letter. Damn it, Kim, I loved you. I loved you with everything in me and you were my first love. You were..._everything_ and then you just break it off, out of the blue. I thought something so much deeper had happened between us—"

"It had!" she screamed defensively.

"Then why the hell did you end it the way you did? People in love don't do that kind of thing to each other. Then again, I guess it was a one-sided love. You never loved me." Tommy would never know how much his words would forever haunt her.

She took a moment to compose herself then willed herself to speak. Once able, she gulped thickly and started to back up, an attempt to get away before her voice even made an appearance.

"You know, of all the people in this world, I thought you would always be the one I could count on. I never for the life of me thought you'd turn on...me the way you did just now. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for this."

"FORGIVE ME?!" he barked, turning around to meet her dark, hurt eyes. "You don't think you'll be able to forgive me, Kim? Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Tommy turned back around, missing the crystal tear rolling down her haggard face. Tommy started ranting about the 'cold bitch' she'd become when she no longer could bear his anger, couldn't do anything other than hate herself, and fled, not bothering to hear him finish. With her head hung low and her heart in the pit of her stomach, she heard him mutter, "I wish I never met you."

She left Angel Grove Park. She never wanted to return again.

Tommy never heard her footsteps. When he turned around to find her gone, he muttered 'fuckin' figures' to himself, kicking the ground at her indignant behavior. He probably would have remained there all night had someone not come along.

"Hey buddy," drawled a cool, friendly voice.

Tommy made no effort to turn around, content with sitting on the sand, feet soaked in the water. However, he acknowledged his friend by responding, "Hey Jase. What's going on?"

"Not too much. I was actually looking for Kim. She took off earlier and since she's staying with me, I kind of want to know where she is." Tommy noticed the concern laced in his friend's voice and he didn't really like it. Various reasons; the jealousy of her being closer to Jason than any other friend, their argument all together, and so forth.

"I haven't seen her for a few hours. She came here, we bitched at each other, and then she took off. Figures she wouldn't return like this. She always runs away."

"What did you say to her?"

Now, Jason was Tommy's best friend and had been for years. Through thick and thin, the two men who'd shared the same color of 'red' forged a bond stronger than probably any other Ranger pair. Yet, the tone he used to ask the question had been dark, stormy, and full of murk. Tommy, again, didn't like it.

"I just told her everything I've been wanting to for a while. She took off crying, as per her usual, and—"

"What_ exactly_ did you say to her?" asked Jason threateningly.

Tommy stood up at this point, receiving daggers from Jason, and stood in front of the man. "Why? What is going—"

"What did you say to her?!" he bellowed, a mixture of anger and terror weld up in his eyes.

"I asked her about the damn letter. I have a right to know about it and basically it ended with me telling her the truth. We had a one-sided love. She never loved me—"

"You idiot!" barked Jason, turning away with his hands rushing up to meet his sore temples. He massaged them gently while Tommy looked at him confused and completely perplexed. "Why did you say that? How could you say that to her?"

"It was the damn truth and you know it," reasoned Tommy sensibly, annoyed at Jason's lack of friendship here. He almost felt betrayed for him to side with Kim. How dare he?!

"That was not the truth at all! You...fuckin' idiot..." Jason broke off, turning his back on his best friend. "She loves you, Tommy. She loves you more than you could ever imagine and the only reason she wrote that letter..." Jason stopped again, dropping down to sit in the sand. Tommy, who had the distinct impression he screwed up but didn't dare admit it just yet, took a seat beside him.

"Why did she write the letter?" he asked, calmer than before.

"I can't tell you that," said Jason irately.

"That's bullshit!" screamed Tommy, his cheeks flushing into a pink hue, the color of his former love. "You can't just say something like that and not finish—"

"I can't because it's her right to tell you. If she wants to explain the stupid letter, fine, but I will _not_ betray her trust by telling you her story. She confided in me only years later and only because I stumbled onto it by accident. I wasn't suppose to know so don't for one second think I would stab her in the back. You want to know then you ask her. That is, if you can find her. By the looks of it, she ran off and knowing her...she'll be long gone."

"Gone? She came back for Billy and he isn't even near being finished with his treatment," said Tommy in a clear voice. Now he really felt himself sweating over Kimberly, worry gnawing at him.

"No. She came back for you," muttered Jason, rising to his feet. After dusting his black pants off, he stared at Tommy crossly. "She only came back because she wanted the opportunity to talk to you about that blasted letter. Sure, Billy ignited the leave, but the reason she actually came was you. I honestly believe she was going to finally tell you the truth. What do you do? You blow it up in her face before she has the opportunity!"

"I didn't know and I still don't know," uttered Tommy, still pissed off at the lack of information given to him.

"Well, if you find her, give her a chance to speak. I'm going to head over to the airport and try to find her before she jets off out of my life completely. Unlike you, I still value her friendship. Besides, if you really said all that to her, she's likely to do something rash tonight. You...you just don't get it..."

Jason started heading back toward his jeep when Tommy called out after him; "Jason!" The dark-haired man turned around, sighing and waiting for Tommy to speak. "At least tell me what you were going to say. You started saying something about the letter...a reason. At least give me a reason for it."

It was more than obvious Jason felt a moral dilemma battling in his mind. He didn't want to betray Kim, but knew Tommy needed something or else chaos would surely ensue. After a long, drawn-out battle of putties dancing in his head, Tommy's needs won.

"She only wrote that letter because she thought you wouldn't love her if you knew the truth. Something happened to her and...she didn't think you'd still love her after that."

"But what—"

"That's all I'm telling you," said Jason firmly. With that, he turned, got in his car, and sped off to locate his friend.

Tommy stood there only a moment longer before he too went after the girl.

* * *

A/N: Only a few days wait - better than the last time, huh? Don't forget to review :) 


	5. Chapter 4: The Secret

**The Secret**

0000000

"I need a flight back to New York_ today_," muttered a low, defeated voice. The woman behind the counter quickly typed in various things before meeting Kim's eyes again.

"Ma'am, we only have one more flight leaving today and you'll have to deal with a layover in Chicago."

"Fine," she replied, quick and easy, wanting nothing more than to get away from Angel Grove and everyone in it.

After her ticket printed, she walked over to the seating area and pulled out a book, her only escape from the troubles of her life. The poor girl lived in New Jersey, close to the New York line and away from many prying eyes. She liked the quiet, reserved area she called home strictly because it was just that; quiet and reserved. Not a lot of children around and extremely safe, one of the top areas in the country. Safe - a word she didn't really worry about until that day back when she was seventeen...

"KIM!"

She swung her dark locks around to see Jason speeding toward her. How he got through security was beyond her, but that was a moot point.

"Kim, don't get on that plane," he said quickly, bending over to catch his breath.

"Jason, what are you doing?" Her voice had a whiny quality for precisely that summed up her feelings. She just wanted to go home, to be alone, and Jason seemed to be the only one who didn't want her to leave. "Just let me go."

"No. I can't let you get on that plane. You won't ever come back if you do," he voiced honestly, voicing a deep fear of his.

"You're right. Look, Jase, there isn't anything left for me here. Tommy hates me, most of the...rangers—" she muttered quietly, as everyone's eyes in the room were now focused on the pair, convinced Jason was a boyfriend attempting to stop his girl from leaving—"chose to side with Tommy over the whole ordeal and I can't say that I blame them. They have moved on and don't even know me nor do they care to. My parents are gone from here...I have nothing left. At least in Jersey I have a home and a dog. Just let me go." Her pitiful, beaten voice just about broke his heart.

"I can't. Kim he doesn't hate you, but he's confused. You have to talk to him—"

"I already tried talking to him," she blurted out, tears welling up in her caramel eyes, "and you must have seen how well that went or else you wouldn't be here. He hates me and without him..." she broke off, hastily wiping her eyes to stop the weak tears from dripping down beneath her chin. "At least when I was away, I had hope. Now? Now I_ know_ there is nothing more between us and I have been right this whole time. That letter was for the best."

"You're wrong! None of this was for the best! You should have gone to the police when this all happened and—"

"Jason stop it!" she barked, clearly scared he would give too much important information away. She couldn't risk it - for Jason and for herself. Exhaling loudly and visibly, she whispered, "Coming back was a mistake and Tommy doesn't give a damn about me anymore. He made that clear today."

"How can you even think that?!" he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"How can I not?"

Jason sighed and closed his eyes, picturing himself ringing Tommy's neck. The guy meant well, but damn it! Why did he have to say something to her?

"Alright, screw staying for him. Stay for me and for Billy. He needs you Kim. He needs all of us here to support him. Don't leave, not like this."

Kim fell silent for a long while, just staring at him. Had she not been thinking so hard she would have been met with an eerily quiet room, everyone present waiting for her reply. It wasn't until a young boy, probably thirteen or so, yelled that she snapped out of her trance; "give the guy a break. He came all this way so give him one more chance. Come on!"

The consensus seemed to agree as they all gave a round of applause and cheered 'yeah!' several times. Finally, seeing as Kim was the submissive, passive type at this point, she gave in. She handed him her bag, left with handclapping behind her, exchanged her ticket for flyer miles, and left with Jason back towards his home. They didn't speak the entire way back.

Meanwhile...Tommy Oliver sat in front of Jason's old home, waiting for their return.

0000000

"What is he doing here?"

Jason stared at the same man Kimberly's wide eyes had fallen on, obviously scared to her wits end to speak with him. Their last encounter had been anything other than great and she didn't feel up to getting yelled at again. This he knew.

"I guess he wants to talk to you," said Jason sensibly.

Kim looked hesitant and scared, two qualities she never would have been before she left for Florida. It hurt Jason when he thought about the girl and how vivacious she'd been; so full of life, wonder, and enthusiasm, love as well. Never, for the life of him, did he expect her to grow up to be so...abject.

Poor thing.

"Um, what do you want me to do?" he asked softly. "I'll do anything you want. If you want me to tell him to get lost then I will. Whatever you want, I'll do."

Kim mulled it over, obviously battling a few different feelings though she kept her thoughts to herself. She seemed unsure of how to approach the situation, how to go about telling Tommy the most horrible experience of her life. A part of her told her to just talk with him, sit Tommy down and let everything out so he could at least get some closure from her. Another part of her said no, he'd never look at her the same if she did. She'd prefer him to stay angry at her as oppose to ever staring at her with the shame for ever having loved her.

"I'll um...I'll talk to him," she said in a squeaky, petrified voice. "But I have to do it alone. I can't...I'm sorry, but—"

"It's fine," said Jason gently, giving her a small smile for good reason. "I'll go see Billy for a while and you can step inside, talk everything out."

"I'm scared. I'm really scared of what he'll say," she admitted to him, staring down at fumbling fingers. Jason didn't respond, knowing words would be futile, and instead hugged her, giving her a firm reason for why she should: he'd still be there for her whether the outcome turned sour or not. Knowing Tommy, though, he'd fly off the handle once Kim told him the truth - a form of sour indeed.

Jason helped her out and carried her bag, Kimberly walking behind him, dragging her small feet. Upon reaching the door, Jason silenced the man waiting with a hand and instead motioned for him to come inside. Realizing how close Kim was to losing it, he bowed out and shut the door, leaving the two of them alone.

"Kim—"

"Shh. Please, if I'm going to tell you this then I need you to do two things."

"What?" he asked, still unsure about...everything.

"I need you to be quiet and let me speak the entire time without interrupting. If you don't, I don't know if I'll be able to finish. Just...let me speak." Tommy gulped and nodded mutely. "And two, I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Aside from Jason, nobody knows and if I had it my way then not even he would know. Promise you won't tell anyone." It went against Tommy's better judgement, but he agreed by nodding again.

Kim walked around and sat on the couch in the main living room. Tommy knew better than to sit beside her given how upset she'd been earlier so he opted for sitting on the chair directly across from her. Like she asked, he remained tacit and waited for her to speak.

"When I left for Florida, I was excited and sad. Excited for the opportunity and the thought of competing in the Pan Global games, but so sad over the thought of leaving you and the other rangers." She seemed to look virtually anywhere other than his eyes. "I honestly didn't want to leave you."

"Everything was going fine for a while. I was in good contact with you, Trini, Jason, Billy, and all the other rangers, really. I was getting along with a few people in Florida and actually managing to have fun when...when everything changed."

Tommy had never been one to stay calm when stories were drawn out as if for melodramatic effects, but he felt he needed to give Kim the benefit of the doubt. He waited patiently for her to continue, his heart in his throat.

"Class ended and I um..._stupidly_ decided to hang out with some of the girls who were known for doing some crazy things. I didn't think about the consequences, but just that it seemed like fun. They were all nice and I knew some of them but I wanted to know all of them. So I decided to go with them the night they chose to go to a bar."

Tommy felt his hands clench and unclench in fear as she continued, "It was fine for a while. I got along with everyone and a few guys thought I was cute. One guy in particular. He kept offering to buy me drinks and I kept declining, you know, cause I'm not into that. He was really...t-touchy feely and I kind of wanted to get away from him, but he kept following me. I really didn't like it."

She let out a shaky breath and wiped at her surprisingly dry eyes before she went on. It was obviously hard on her. "I um...decided to leave early with my friend Sara, another girl who didn't exactly like drinking either. Since I was a former ranger...I was confident in my ability to handle anything, but I guess my fat head kept me from realizing my disadvantage; I am a rather petite girl."

Tommy knew what was coming. He had a strong feeling, but he was too scared to say it aloud. One because he told her he wouldn't interrupt her and two because he desperately wanted to be wrong. He never wanted to be more wrong in his life.

"Sara and I were chuckling over this stupid joke we'd heard the day before, laughing quite loud too, so I guess we never heard anything happening behind us. We were passing some shady looking streets and such. You know, the bar wasn't exactly located at Disneyworld." She rolled her eyes, Tommy figuring more to herself, continuing, "The stereotype is to be pulled into an alleyway, yeah? Well, I fell under that stereotype..."

Tommy closed his eyes, her words confirming what he thought, yet he had no idea how much worse it was going to get. At this point, an attack was floating through his mind, but he didn't know just how bad the attack was. He didn't know it extended behind just a bruise here and there.

"It was the guy who had followed me around in the bar. I guess he saw Sara and I leaving and just decided to follow us. He only yanked me and on instinct I told Sara to run, to just get the hell away. She didn't need telling twice and bolted, kind of just leaving me alone with this guy. It turned out okay since I nailed him in a few key spots and took off myself, running with a sprained ankle. He stepped on my foot and tweaked it so I was at a disadvantage."

_Disadvantage?! Kim is the smallest girl I know! Everyone towers over her and this guy...he..._Tommy's thoughts broke off as Kimberly's story resumed.

"I didn't realize there was more than one before it was too late. They snatched me, threw me into this ugly, black and blue van, and the man from the bar jumped on me. I remember reaching out and gasping when I felt...I f-f-felt someone else. There were two other girls in there. They uh...they weren't breathing."

Tommy sucked in a sharp breath, his fists tightening at her admission. Fleetingly he could feel a throbbing pain in his hand where blood was being drawn, his fingers penetrating his flesh, but he ignored it.

Kim, swallowing a sob, whispered, "I tried to fight him off, but...b-but I wasn't strong enough. He was...he was b-bigger and I uh...I couldn't stop him. I mean I didn't exactly have a power morpher. I tried, you have to know I tried so hard, but it was futile. He overpowered me and um...he uh..."

The tears were starting, each one, to Tommy, feeling like cold ice slipping down his back. He knew what was coming. He just knew...

"He uh...r-r..."

She put her face in her hands, weeping openly and letting out years of shame, frustration, and fear out. She hadn't told anyone other than Jason and not even he knew the details. He only knew what happened to her and to finally let it out, to let someone know the truth just felt like wave after wave of pain digging into her. For her it wasn't release, but letting the weight on her shoulders crush her into oblivion.

"He raped me," she managed, choking back another sob. "I lost my virginity to some random guy in the back of a van. How pathetic am I?"

"Oh Kim," he growled out, his voice raw and torn up from the emotion he felt. His own face fell in his hands, his vision blurring around the edges. A wave of dizziness overpowered his mine and he fought down the nausea threatening to come out of his mouth.

It wouldn't be for several minutes before either of them would speak. For Tommy, words could not even begin to describe the pain he felt in him. No sorrow, no dismay, no feeling at all had ever felt so bad in all of his life. He would gladly take physical blows until the point of death to never hear the words again. When the silence did eventually break, Kim had been the one to do so.

"Once it was over, he left me back there with the other girls, thinking I was too out of it to stand or something. I don't know. He hit me a few times too, but the blows didn't do anything. All the work with the Rangers sort of had me bracing for that kind of thing. Anyway, they were moving and muttering some bullshit about me being perfect for something. I couldn't catch it all nor did I care. I just...I wasn't about to die at their hands, not after all the fighting I'd done. I refused to let the Rangers down by dying like that. So, I waited until they came up to a stop light before I made my move. Right as it turned green, I threw the door open and hopped out, then ran for my life. They'd already taken off though I heard them stop a little ways away, obviously figuring out I managed to escape. Fuck...it was the scariest thing to ever happen to me."

After she finished, she did something which completely floored Tommy - she laughed. Albeit the title of said laugh should contain the word bitter, it shocked him to hear her chuckle after telling him such a terrible story.

"I didn't um...I didn't know how to tell you and I didn't want to. I didn't ever want to tell you. You waited so patiently for me, always so gallant and charming, and then I didn't even give it to you because he took it."

Tommy looked up abruptly, horror-stricken by her words. _My God, that's why. She thought I would be mad because we never slept together. She thought I'd be mad that someone did this to her. Oh my God...oh Kimmie..._

"I wrote you that letter because I knew...you deserved better. You do deserve better and I decided to cut off all ties. I couldn't call. Calling would have been too hard so I wrote that stupid letter. I cried the whole time." As soon as her words left, her body resumed the heaving sobs, unable to halt them. Tommy wanted to run to her, to comfort her, but his legs felt wooden and foreign to him. He literally forgot how to walk.

"There w-was no other g-g-guy. There never was...I only loved you and...and I...I still do! I still love you so m-much and..."

"Kim...why? Just...why..." he broke off, like Kim had done before, simply because he could not articulate himself well enough.

"I can't answer that. I don't know why I c-couldn't f-f-fight him off. I tried, but I failed. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder and I'm sorry I c-couldn't be stronger...I'm s-sorry..." She wrapped her arms around her midsection and cried as though her heart would break. Actually, it was shattering into a million pieces as fire ignited. Kim felt so much pain beneath her breast that she could hardly breathe.

Tommy, who felt the same burning in his chest, looked up completely horrified. Again she had misconstrued what he thought. He cried hoarsely, "Oh God Kim, no! I didn't mean it like that. I meant...why as in why did this have to happen to you? Kimmie it wasn't directed at you."

Though she appeared to hear his words, the tension never left her weeping body. He reached out for her, intending to draw her in his arms, but she pulled away.

"Don't," she breathed, "Please don't touch me. I just...look I told you. That's all I wanted to do. So...p-please leave...please?"

Tommy felt himself sick all over again. The girl he never stopped caring for had been raped and now did not want him to touch her.

"Kim," he sighed, looking down, "I uh...I'm sorry—"

"Don't," she interjected, "Please don't. I just uh...your words hurt me today and I really don't want to be here. Everything is a big mess and I uh...I need to be al-hone. I need you to leave. Now. Please?"

Tommy held his breath, really unable to move. He didn't know what to think, feel, say...

"Please leave," she murmured, looking away from him.

After he let out a shaky sigh, he nodded. Standing to his full potential, he stared down at her and felt his heart sink.

"Kimmie I...I'm so sorry," he muttered. She did not respond so he took it as his cue to finally leave. As soon as the door closed with a grimness, she fell onto the arm of the couch and cried - cried for everything she'd lost.

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The second Tommy stepped outside, his legs gave out. He crashed onto Jason's porch, pounding his fists into his leg, crying out in frustration and sadness over what had happened to her.

His Kim, his beautiful, wonderful Kimberly had been...

No, he couldn't say it. He couldn't express the pain of knowing, but to think about it would torture him.

"Tommy?"

He looked up to see Jason standing there, a knowing bleak expression clouding his regularly cheery mien.

"You never told me," growled Tommy, true, deep anger surfacing instantly.

"It wasn't my place, buddy, though I wanted nothing more. Fuck...I've been trying to get her to go to the cops, but—"

"She never went to the cops?" asked Tommy flabbergasted, thinking Kim meant she'd never told her friends when explaining she'd kept it from everyone. He didn't know, never could have dreamed that she never filed anything.

Shaking his head sullenly, Jason muttered, "She gave me some bullshit reasons, but I think she lied to me over them. There is something else that she didn't tell me, I know it."

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," snarled Tommy, his voice sending off palpable waves of hate; "I don't care what I have to do, but I'm going to track down the sorry son-of-a-bitch who did this."

* * *

This honestly was one of the hardest things I've EVER written. Review! 


	6. Chapter 5: Fine

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**Fine**

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"_By not coming forward (about rape), you make yourself a victim forever."_

_-Kelly McGillis_

Tommy alternated between reading a crumpled piece of paper and staring at an old, worn photograph taken a decade prior. The 'Dear John' letter she sent so many years ago held new meaning for him now. Before he thought it'd been written with cruel intents and purposes, a selfish and cowardly way to end a relationship. Knowing the truth, knowing how much love had been invested into it made the guilt fill his stomach like hot lead, burning his insides.

To deter his thoughts for a brief moment, he'd stare at the photograph, outlining the pink form in the picture, missing that beautiful smile which once stopped him in his tracks. So incredibly beautiful, she was, and full of life, wonder, possibilities. She could light up a room with a simple greeting or the gentle hum of her laugh. He remembered her kisses, as well, the beginning of his shift from boyhood to something more mature. Though they'd been chaste and short, he could still remember her taste, how well her lips melted into his, and how perfect she felt in his arms.

Knowing what happened to her made him feel sick to his stomach. A few times he actually fought down bile, scared to even think about someone doing such a horrid thing to anyone let alone someone he cared about. Then atop of which his atrocious words towards her swirled around his mind like a disease.

The first rule of holes is to stop digging and yet...he buried himself to the neck.

"Tommy?"

The dark-haired man turned to see his best friend standing next to him, a cold beer in each hand. He took the drink from Jason's right hand and returned his attention back to the picture.

"What do we do? How do we deal with this?" he asked, sounding to himself like a small five-year-old child.

Jason didn't answer, knowing already that Tommy was aware neither of them had the answer. Really, what does one say or do in a moment like this?

"Why wouldn't she tell me?"

"You know why," answered Jason, taking a sip from the icy bottle, "so don't pretend like you don't."

Tommy shook his head as Jason continued, "She didn't because...cause she's Kim. You know, the perfect little icon at Angel Grove and...she never wanted to be anything less than that. This, in her eyes at least, made her less. Something she couldn't control made her less and...and she didn't want us to know. She preferred becoming a ghost than dealing with us."

"And that's what hurts the most," whispered Tommy, chugging the rest of his bottle down in one gulp.

"So...she left to see Billy and...we're here," said Jason unnecessarily.

Tommy nodded, stood, and remained standing, his eyes landing on Kim's pink bag by the door. Kim had left a few hours ago to visit Billy and keep Trini company in the waiting room. She'd told Jason she needed some breathing room, from both him and Tommy, for a bit and drove Jason's jeep to the hospital. Tommy and him had remained in his parent's house ever since.

"We got to get her help. That's it. It's what we got to do," he said firmly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Jason stood, grabbed the empty bottle from Tommy's hand, and replied, "Thanks. I hadn't thought about that, Tommy. You're a regular genius."

Tommy, though regularly the calm one, the one in control and able to handle things thrown at him in any which way, could barely keep a handle on his frustrations. Jason's sarcasm wasn't helping matters much. Jason knew it too, though it didn't stop him. In fact, Jason smirked all the way back into his parent's kitchen.

"Then what do we do?!" asked Tommy in exasperation.

Jason placed the bottles in the recycle bin as he said, "We go see Billy."

"Jase, we can't—"

"It's up to her," he replied, turning around to meet his friend's eyes, "and that's all it'll ever be. We respect Kim by respecting her wishes. If she doesn't want to talk then we don't force her."

"Then she'll never get better."

Jason grabbed his jacket from the back of stout kitchen chair and pulled it on, taking the opportunity to run his hands through his slick short hair. He grabbed his keys laying conveniently on the edge of the table then walked to the door, saying over his shoulder, "It's about Billy, buddy. This is about him."

"So that's it?"

"For now. For right now, Tommy, it is."

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"You're awfully quiet," noted Trini as she and Kim sat in the waiting room, Katherine on the other side of the room; "you alright?"

Nodding, her eyes downcast on her fumbling fingers, Kimberly sighed. They'd been waiting for someone to come out and tell them about Billy's test results for a while, but so far nobody voiced anything. She often sniffed and brushed away a few tears threatening to fall, everyone thinking she feared for Billy, and she did, she truly did, and damn it - those tears should have been for Billy!

More guilt fell upon her burdened shoulders.

"Did something happen?" asked Trini tentatively.

Kim shook her head, lying again. She hated lying. She wasn't a liar - never had been; very straight forward to the point where it nearly came off as blunt. Now she was lying, to everyone about everything, and she hated herself for it.

More, more, more, MORE GUILT!

"Seems like something happened."

"Shut up, Trini," said Kimberly, leaning her elbows on her knees and putting her face in her palms.

"Something did happen."

Kimberly couldn't stop them. The tears just flowed down like a damn river in a chaotic storm. She didn't want them to stop, either. She wanted those blasted tears to come out until there were no more left in her body, until nothing else could come out.

"It's funny, really. You were always the talkative one and now I can't get you to mumble anything. Tommy was the shy one and now it seems like you can't get that guy to shut up."

"Funny, right. Very funny. Funny, funny, funny. Funny."

"Now you sound crazy," muttered Trini, rolling her eyes.

"I am crazy," sighed Kimberly, rubbing her hands up and down her pasty, teary face. "I am a crazy fool who never should have come home. Why the hell am I here?"

"Billy. You're here for Billy and don't you forget it. You came all this way for him and he needs the support so don't even think about running away." Trini's harsh voice made Kim lift up from her downward position, staring with a bemused expression at the black-haired girl.

"Who said I ra—who said I would run away?" Kimberly gulped at catching herself, not sure about telling Trini about her mini-breakdown earlier.

"You always do and right now you're probably thinking about it. What am I saying? I _know _you're thinking about it, but you can't. Billy needs us right now, that's why we're here."

"I'm done with the lectures, okay? I've had enough from Jason and please, I don't need anymore from you, alright?" Kimberly's bleak, unrelenting tone let Trini know the conversation was done. So once again silence reigned in the room along with a staring bout between the first yellow ranger and the successor of pink across the room.

The hostility didn't cut until Jason and Tommy walked in, both entering with their own severe amount of tension. Tommy sought out Kimberly's gaze, but she didn't grant him it nor did she look at Jason. Her eyes remained red-rimmed, still constantly leaking tears, unsure of where to go. Tommy sensed her trouble and decided to let her have her space, opting to sit next to Jason on another row of chairs in the square waiting room; Katherine to their left, Trini and Kimberly to their right.

"Anything?" asked Jason to no one in particular.

Katherine volunteered the answer, "Nothing yet. Just been waiting. Rocky, Zach, and Aisha left about half an hour ago to get something to eat. They should be back soon."

Jason sucked his upper lip into his mouth, a nervous habit from his youth he never quite got over, trying to figure out a way to make someone in the room talk. Katherine and Trini were still at war, Kim broke down and was still, based on the tears steadily leaking from her eyes, breaking down, and Tommy clenched his fists so many times every minute he no doubt would need a doctor himself. Something had to be done to keep these people from killing each other.

"Anyone want to go for drinks later?" he asked, hoping it would at least get a response from everyone.

Leaning back, Trini replied, "Sure. Anything to get around some noise."

"A drink would be nice," muttered Katherine, flipping the page of the four month old _Cosmopolitan_ in her lap. "Haven't gone out for drinks in a long while."

"Yeah," conceded Tommy, absentmindedly just answering, the question not registering.

Kimberly made no move to respond and Jason noticed. He knew he shouldn't probe, felt something in his gut say - no, scream! - 'don't probe' yet he couldn't heed it. He softly asked, "Kim?"

Her head snapped up, dark eyes piercing into his as she snapped, "I don't drink, Jason. You _know_ I don't."

"Well there's a fuckin' surprise," whispered Katherine, chuckling to herself as she flipped another crinkled page.

Trini, sick to death over people treating her friend poorly, stood up and viciously yelled, "You know what, say it to her face! You want to be a bitch, fine, but why don't you take some responsibility for it and actually say it?"

"I'll say it," growled Katherine, rising to her feet, throwing the magazine on the floor in the process.

Jason and Tommy both got to their feet, trying desperately to stop anything from getting physical, knowing the women the way they did, and frantically hoping the vicious arguing would cease. Unfortunately, as Tommy pushed Trini back and Jason held Katherine firmly by her shoulders, Katherine voiced everything she ever thought about her predecessor.

"Kimberly never should have come back! She was a bitch back when she broke Tommy's heart and she is a bitch now! You may act like she is some gift from above, but she is no angel and she never has been. Open your eyes and realize that—"

"Katherine, shut up!"

The struggles stopped the second the words were spoken. It wasn't the words themselves which spoke volumes, but the person who voiced them. Katherine stared opened mouth at Tommy, incredulity in her eyes.

"She broke you," she whispered, her voice tight and constricted. Tommy let go of Trini, judging, correctly, that the fight had gone out of her. Jason released Katherine as well, the girl pushing back some blonde hair behind her ears. Katherine continued, "She broke you into a shell of what you were. She wasn't there to pick up the pieces and she wasn't there to see you suffer and suddenly—"

"It happened a long time ago. I should have grown up then and you need to grow up now. It's over, done with, and you need to accept it. Whatever happened between me and Kim happened between me and Kim. End of story. Look, I care about you Katherine, I do, but this has got to stop. Do _not_. Bring up. _Anything._ About it. Again. Are we clear?"

"Unbelievable," she mumbled to herself, jerking away from Jason and walking out of the room.

Trini smirked, quipping, "Bitch finally got a taste of her own damn medicine."

"Shut up, Trini," said Jason, returning to his seat.

She threw her hands up in exasperation, yelling, "Why does everyone keep telling me to keep my mouth shut? You'd think I'M the one saying stupid things."

"You are."

Trini scowled at Jason, but declined for further comment by crossing her arms and sitting back down next to Kimberly. Only then did she notice the girl shaking.

"Kim?"

"I'm fine," she answered as if on cue, repeating, "I'm fine. I'm really fine."

Trini leaned closer to her, close enough to smell the strawberry scent of her shampoo, and whispered, "People who constantly say they're fine usually are the ones who aren't."

Kimberly looked away, silently begging her eyes to stop with the tears. Yes, she wanted them before, but no more. The weakness was creeping up on her again and she didn't need to feel weak again.

"It's okay to not be fine," assured Trini. "What she said wasn't right."

"Yes it was," muttered Kimberly back, her voice dark and angry, "it was right. She hit it on the head. Nail through the skull kind of right."

"No. She is a manipulative, conniving bi—"

"You can call her a bitch all you want, and hell, she probably is a bitch, but that doesn't change the fact that she was—_is_ right."

Jason tried to interject, "No, Kim—" but she cut him off again, throwing up her hand to silence him.

"No, don't say it. Don't say it to spare my feelings and don't say it because you feel like a good friend says that kind of thing. A good friend doesn't lie and the truth of the matter is that I screwed up. I hurt Tommy, I hurt a lot of people, and you know what, this is karma coming back to bite me in the ass. This is my fault so don't try to hide it for what it is."

"Oh Kimmie," sighed Tommy, shaking his head, hating the world for being so cruel.

A short woman with red hair and glasses walked in wearing blue scrubs and appearing too tired to keep her eyes opened. She retied her hair as she entered the room, making everyone save for Kimberly rise to their feet.

"What's going on with Billy?" asked Jason immediately, needing to know some good would come of today.

The redhead answered, "We just finished running the exams on him and he's back in his room. You can all see him now."

"You don't know anything?"

"We won't know anything until the morning," she replied before bowing out of the room.

Jason and Trini exchanged a glance while Tommy's eyes fell on Kimberly, the only one who hadn't even looked up at the woman during her entire visit.

Trini gripped Kimberly's shoulder and gave her a comforting squeeze, suggesting, "Let's go see Billy. He needs us right now, more than ever, so let's go see him."

"I'll be there in a minute. Just let me be alone for a second."

The former yellow ranger nodded, attempting to understand her friend, recognizing the sadness but not the grief; she only thought something amiss due to Katherine; not the deep, forever ingrained pain Kim truly felt. Trini didn't know, hence why she halted further efforts to push Kim and left the room, Jason in tow.

Tommy stood by the door, unsure of how to precede, but refusing to back down, refusing to let her wallow when it was obvious she desperately needed someone - anyone - to be there for her.

"I said I'd be there in a minute," she told him, sounding hurt, bitter even.

Tommy didn't move, not even a flinch, but merely responded, "Well, I'll be there in a minute too."

Kimberly rubbed her eyes with her forearm, anxiously trying to eliminate the tears, hating the entire miserable situation. Again she was selfishly thinking about herself when her thoughts should have been on Billy.

"Tommy I didn't tell you because I wanted anything from you. I told you cause you deserved to know the truth. You don't owe me anything so you can go." Her defeated tone just about broke his heart.

"Trini was right, Kim," he told her, making an effort to keep his voice calm and gentle; "it's okay to not be fine."

"Noted. You can go," she hissed, her voice betraying the bitterness she felt.

"You need help Kim," he told her abruptly, finding no need to beat around the bush. Kimberly looked up at him, mild shock, puzzlement, and dismay crossing her features all at once, her nose flaring at the suggestion. Tommy continued, "You can't deny it."

"I'm fine, Tommy. I don't need help and I don't need you. I don't need anybody."

Tommy closed his eyes, trying, to a great extent, to restrain from everything he wanted to do. He wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her, shake her, tell her it was okay, comfort her; but he couldn't do any of that. For several reasons he could not, but the main one centered on their prior relationship - he no longer knew her well enough to do such things.

As for what she said - completely preposterous. Come on, the girl clearly needed help, her body practically begging for it based on the physical deterioration. It was evident her health had severely declined - he figured, _correctly_, a self-punishment disposed on herself for, in her eyes, 'letting it happen to her' - to the point where she seemed unrecognizable from the girl he dated all those years ago. The beautiful hair she worshiped (as did many of his fellow male classmates) and other girls envied looked stringy, unkept; her puckered lips appeared dull and in the position of permanent frown. Yet, the scariest thing struck him twice: the fire in her amber eyes had burned out, extinguished, the radiance gone. Instead defeat and self-denigration replaced what originally caught his attention.

"You never got help." It wasn't a question.

Still, she responded, defensively repeating, "I don't need it."

"Kim you need some therapy. I'm not saying it to be cruel, but you do need to get some help. You need to talk to someone about it. You know, someone who...understands this and deals with this regularly. I could—"

"When I decide to do a stint in rehab, you'll be the first to know. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

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When Tommy entered Billy's room three minutes later sans Kim, Jason and Trini quickly questioned him. Tommy simply shrugged, replying, "She's fine."

* * *

A/N: Just know, I don't like Katherine. I'm sorry, I really am, but I just can't like her. Consider it my inability to get over the Kimberly era. You see, I watched the show when I was young from the VERY beginning, from the birth of this fabled show and I stopped watching after Kimberly left. Alright, maybe I also listened to my friends who told me it wasn't cool to like the show anymore, but nevertheless, I stopped watching after the Pink Ranger was turned over to Katherine. So I'm sorry, but she never took to me and I CAN'T like her. Thanks. Oh and...(squimishly looks around)...sorry about the long wait. Having a bad case of writer's block at the moment. 

Tootles!


	7. Chapter 6: A Dance

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**A Dance**

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"_Tell your friend a lie. If he keeps it secret, then tell him the truth."_

_-Proverb_

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Two long, miserable days were spent at the hospital with Billy growing more and more frustrated with the party. It wasn't until he snapped that they realized just how upset and angry he was at them.

"Oh my God, STOP IT!" he barked, startling everyone in the room. Tommy and Jason exchanged serious looks, Kimberly put her head down, Trini's eyes nearly bugged out of her skull, Katherine dropped her magazine on the floor with a loud - pop! - and Aisha and Zach just stared at the sick man in bewilderment.

"Billy—"

"You all have been sitting in my room for days now just sulking and bitching and when you weren't bitching you were quiet and I don't want quiet right now! My God, go see a damn movie."

Though the moment seemed hardly right, Trini burst out laughing, finding Billy's rage one of the funniest things. _Leave it to him to crack only to tell us to go see a movie. That's using that giant brain of yours, B._

"A movie?" she chuckled, rubbing her forearm across her eyes.

"I don't care what you do be it a movie or going to see the Queen of England. Just get out of this room for a while and come back when you're all not going stir crazy. I can't take this anymore," he growled, crossing his arms over his chest like a whining child.

"Let's go out to dinner," suggested Rocky, who returned from the hospital kitchen, a sandwich in his left hand. For the first time in a long time, Kimberly's laughter filled the room.

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"You know what you're going to wear?" asked Trini from the bathroom, her voice traveling in a melodic sort of way. Kimberly figured she was in there humming to herself like she frequently did when they were teens and getting ready for a school dance or other formal function.

"No. I really just brought casual stuff. I do have black pants though so maybe that'll work," she sighed, feeling out of place. Friends were nonexistent in New Jersey so she really didn't have this sort of problem there. Seeing as she never went out, going to dinner would be the first big outing for her in a long while.

Trini emerged from the bathroom wearing a blue dress printed with yellow flowers all over, a material ode to her sick friend and their old powers. Kimberly couldn't help but smile, knowing full well a lot of pink was in her own bag.

"Come on, girl, burrow something of mine then. Here–" she rooted around one of her suitcases until she pulled out a thin red top–"wear this. It'll probably look better on you than it does on me."

"No, Trini, I can't wear that. It's way too low cut," argued Kimberly, wishing she had the body to wear something so hot. Once upon a time she had, but those days were over.

Her friend, however, didn't seem put off by her words and merely waved them off. She countered, "You're petite and you've got a nice chest. Trust me, you'll fill it out just fine and besides...with the amount of cleavage it shows, nobody will be looking at anything else."

"Yes, let's whore it up," Kim quipped, wiggling her butt to emphasize just how silly she found her comrade. Trini jumped along the dancing train with her, the two jumping around Jason's childhood bedroom like idiots. As if on cue, Jason walked by and stood in the doorway, laughing at the two women acting like they did in high school. After staring for a moment and feeling left out, he ran next to them and started shaking his own behind, the girls giggling and jumping all over him. Jason's heart swelled simply by seeing Kimberly light up like she used to.

Finally they calmed themselves and the girls resumed getting ready while Jason sat on his bed, observing.

"So you going to wear that top?" asked Trini, her hands on her hips in a no-nonsense manner. "You know we won't leave until your ass puts it on."

"I wasn't aware I'd be wearing it on my ass."

"Well aren't you catty?" noted Trini with a smirk.

"Meow," growled Jason, moving his hands like a cat's paw.

Kimberly shook her head at their behavior, still uneasy about wearing something so revealing. Ever since the...incident...she'd kept herself covered up, never allowing anyone to see anything. People questioned her pasty skin, but if they knew how much she wore and how little the sun met her flesh, then their question would get an answer.

"Kim, just wear it. It's only for one night," said Trini absentmindedly, brushing her hair and walking back into the bathroom.

Kimberly turned away and whispered, "That's what I'm afraid of."

"I'm going to be there, Kim. You know that."

She faced Jason and nodded, taking his words for all they were worth. Jason, her longest childhood friend would be there. Nothing bad could happen to her. Letting those feelings to placate her, Kimberly felt another feeling rise up in her belly and move all over her body - she felt safe.

"Yeah, okay. Just let me change really quick," she said, walking into the bathroom with Trini and shutting the door.

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"Man, I'm starving," moaned Rocky, looking over the menu with voracious hunger burning in his eyes. Aisha smacked him behind the head while everyone at the table chortled, all of them rather happy to have showered, cleaned themselves up, and be out of the stuffy hospital. They only wished Billy was there with them.

"So how has everyone been?" asked Zach, breaking the ice by starting off the conversation.

"Life has been going good. Then again, cooking is always great business." Rocky had no qualms in talking about his restaurant he'd taken over two years prior, the position as executive chef making him swell with pride. Nearly all the original rangers had been there and each of them left with full tummies and good vibes.

"Anything new about The Blue Lagoon?" asked Katherine with interest.

Smiling, Rocky answered, "Just got a new sous-chef. Nice guy named Andy and damn can that boy make a mean garlic risotto. You guys all need to try it the next time you visit me."

"Sounds great," said Katherine genuinely, the rest of the table concurring.

"Well, what about you Kim?" asked Aisha, all eyes falling on the girl in red, her eyes cast downward as always; "whatever happened with Florida?"

"It um...it didn't really work out," she answered, her voice sounding timid and meek. The tone was not lost on the people at the table - they were once close enough to know her every movement, after all.

"May we ask what happened?" asked Zach, trying to sound nonchalant, but understanding, after the few days he'd seen her, that something was wrong with the girl.

"Life happened," she replied curtly, not bothering to elongate. _Why bother?_ she thought dejectedly.

Tommy couldn't help clenching his fists tightly beneath the table, his thighs feeling the heavy pressure of his hands resting atop. The defeat, the misery, and woe in her seemed far too unfair to think life could even be so cruel. What made it worse? She herself made it sound like no big deal. _Life happened? What kind of answer is that?! Oh Kimmie...you poor, poor girl._

"Life happened? What does that mean?" asked Aisha, sounding concerned and interested at the same time.

Sighing, knowing it would be better to get everything over with now - to some degree, of course. She wasn't about to tell her most private and hated of secrets - she muttered unhappily, "I didn't make the team in Florida. I mean...well, I was on my way, but um...a sort of injury took me out of the running. I couldn't compete and so I just went on living. I gave up gymnastics, went to school, and now I work in an office. Cubicle life is good."

She laughed at her own subtle joke, but nobody else joined her. Jason and Tommy both clenched their jaws, thinking about the "injury" which ended her career and, sadly, her life; Aisha, Rocky, and Zach traded looks before peering at her sympathetically, their hearts branching out as though through ESP, or their old Power Ranger bond; Katherine looked mildly surprised, but otherwise expressionless; and Trini just appeared dumbfounded, as though she should have known more about this. _What injury?_ she thought, trying to scan her brain to recall something from the news or the letters or the phone calls. Yet, she couldn't remember one single injury coming up.

"You guys—"

"What injury?" asked Trini abruptly, her brow scrunched up in thought. "I never recalled hearing about an injury. Nothing was said on the news about one of the girls going for the spots getting injured."

"Um...well," Kimberly stammered, her cheeks flushing, hating the spotlight and third degree, "er...you see, um—"

SPLASH!

"Oops, sorry Kim," apologized Jason, leaning over to try and clean up the water he "accidentally" knocked over into her lap. Kimberly pulled out her own napkin and wiped her black slacks, her eyes lifting up to meet his. In the most discreet and genius way, Jason managed to whisper, "Can't report if outside of gym."

Kimberly stared at him for a moment, her hands still moving to dry the water as he nodded surreptitiously at her, beckoning her to continue.

"Sorry guys," said Jason to the group, them all, save for Tommy, who greatly suspected Jason up to something, waving their hands and shaking off the apology. No harm done, really.

"Right. No big deal," muttered Kimberly, placing her napkin back on the table. She gulped before continuing, "Um...where was I?"

"What injury?"

"Oh yeah. Um...well, the injury happened outside of the gym. It was an accident and when the injuries are unrelated to gymnastics they tend to not mention anything to the public."

"So it ended just like that? You must have been devastated," noted Rocky.

Kimberly chuckled to herself, saying, "You have no idea."

"Why didn't you come home then?" asked Katherine, her curiosity unable to halt. Kimberly felt a slight twinge of annoyance at having her power coin successor probe, but couldn't deny her an answer. After all, she was a Ranger and they all stick together - no matter the circumstances.

"Florida became my home," she lied. Okay, so maybe she wasn't giving her an answer, but it wasn't like she planned on answering any of their questions honestly. Hell, she didn't even given Jason and Tommy the whole truth. Could she really ever tell anyone?

"Your home was with us," said Aisha, reaching over to grab her hand. Kimberly felt the tears coming -_ damn it, I don't want to cry again! _- her teeth clamping down on her tongue, desperately trying not to cry out.

Suddenly, and thankfully, a new song began playing, the slow, sensual sounds easing the minds of at least one person at the table. Jason stood up, comically moved his collar and brushed off the invisible sleeves, then held out his hand toward Kimberly.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in a very debonair fashion. Blushing and smirking at the same time, hastily wiping her face with the back of her forearm, Kimberly placed her small hand in his and allowed him to sweep her to her feet. Together they walked to the dance floor and, surrounded by only a few other couples, began to lightly move back and forth, their steps in time with their easy breathing.

"Thank you," she whispered, turning to look away from the table.

"You know, they'd understand. It would be wise of you to maybe confide in more than just me," he suggested, squeezing her pale hand in support.

Kimberly appeared thoughtful for a mere moment, as though she actually was thinking about this notion, before she shook her head and said, "I told Tommy. Isn't that enough for you?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of you. I'm very proud of you, but..."

"But it'll never be enough?"

"I just think it would be beneficial for you to talk about it. Perhaps even just talking to a female might help you heal better."

Kimberly lamented, her stomach tight with knots and her feet feeling like heavy jars of lead, much too hefty to lift off the ground. She wondered fleetingly if it looked like he was dragging her across the floor, but her mind still centered on the conversation. Telling someone? For nearly a decade she only told two people and one of them had been by accident. If Jason hadn't come visit at an inconvenient time, catching her off guard the way he did, he never would've been the wiser. He just happened to see a long scar on her back and demanded an answer about where and when she'd gotten it.

Then she broke down.

He hated the answer he received.

The answer haunted him.

It always would.

"Maybe Trini—"

"Can we just dance? I'm really not up for this. Hell, I didn't even want to come. I wanted to stay at your place and just watch movies or something, but nooo—" dragging the word out, making him laugh—"everyone insisted we go out. I guess I'm far too antisocial these days."

"Well, you know my suggestion is still on the table. You are more than welcome to come with me to Napa. You can get your job as a legal secretary there just as easy as you can in New Jersey."

"I like my job there," she told him, feeling defensive all the sudden. "I like the area I'm in. It's _safe_. I feel safe there."

"You'd be safe with me. My apartment complex is not only great, but there's a few openings. You could stay right next to me and—"

"Jason, I couldn't afford that," she interjected immediately, hoping he'd drop the subject.

Shaking his head, rattling her too, he told her firmly, "Don't worry about the costs right now. I don't want something trivial to keep you from coming."

"Jason, I have a dog. A big dog. I doubt Siberian Huskies are welcome there."

"Let's just say I know he'll make an exception for you."

Kimberly wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe she could find a new life there with him, with her best friend, with her brother, with the one man she didn't fear. She wanted to believe she'd get a chance to start over. Still, the voice in her head debunked all positive outlooks, viciously mocking her - _Just go home! Go home where at least you have a four-legged beast who loves you. Unlike him, who can't physically do to you what men can, or women who'll debase you for all you're barely worth, people are still capable of hurting you. So just go home..._

"Shut up," she murmured to herself, her voice nearly inaudible. Jason didn't seem to notice for his eyes and attention were cast over her head.

"Jason?"

"Can I cut in?"

It amazed her how he still had the ability to render her speechless by just the sound of his deep voice. Her knees buckled, she surely would have sunken to the floor, but alas, Jason's grip tightened the second those words met her ears.

"That's up to her, Tommy," replied Jason, sounding both hopeful and protective of his female friend.

"Kim?"

Giving Jason one last, quick squeeze, she disengaged, allowing herself to turn around and face the tall brunet. He gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze before he left, leaving the former couple standing in the middle of the dance floor, unaware anything else was going on around them.

Tommy held out his hand and gave her plenty of space, granting her the right to choose how close or how distant he could dance with her. Placing her tiny, trembling palm in his, she stepped forward, a soft sigh exhaling when he positioned his hand on her thin waist. Together they swayed to the soft beat, an uncomfortable silence overwhelming her but she wouldn't admit to it.

"You look beautiful tonight," he whispered, startling her with his words. Beautiful? It'd been a long time since someone had called her that, including him. _Especially _him. Damn, she remembered when he used the word frequently. It had been her nickname from him, given and used, throughout their entire courtship. She loved when he called her that. Somehow it had more meaning coming from him - like he'd never lie to her; it was truly what he believed truthful.

"It's a rather revealing top, I know," she muttered, the kind of response geared to protect herself. Kimberly didn't exactly take compliments well.

"You look great. Your shirt has nothing to do with it," he declared, his grip on her hand tightening convulsively.

Kimberly let out a shaky breath, emotions filling her - anger and despair - and she couldn't stop herself. She asked him, "What do you want Tommy? What the hell do you want from me?"

He stared down at her confused, replying, "Kim—"

She cut him off, shaking herself out of his grip, and asking desolately, "What? Suddenly changed your opinion on me cause you know the truth? I see it in your eyes. You already look at me differently and believe it or not...that was always my biggest fear. I'd rather have you hate me then see that look in your eye. That's why I don't want you to know the truth."

At this, Tommy's eyes and ears perked up as if Mesogog just walked into the room and started to table dance. Kimberly knew he caught on so why bother pretending like she meant something else? Besides, since her worst fear already came true, standing right in front of her actually, what else could matter anymore?

"_Don't_ want me to know? Does that mean there is more to the story?" he asked gently, praying to Zordon she'd say otherwise.

"There's more," she croaked sorrowfully.

"But I thought...you told me everything—"

"I told you what I told Jason," she spat, turning her back to him, facing the table, "and trust me when I say Jason doesn't know everything. Jason doesn't know anything."

* * *

VERY busy at the moment - college sucks and I'm interning - so you've all got to give me a break with updates. I'll try my best to keep them coming. 

Oh, and I know what you're all thinking about Kim - too many damn emotions! - but don't give up on her just yet. Imagine keeping something to yourself for 10 years, something as bad as this, and then confessing. It's bound to cause problems, eh?

Tootles!


	8. Chapter 7: Believe

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**Believe**

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"_One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself sufficiently often, whether the statement be true or false. It comes to be the dominating thought in one's mind."_

_-Robert Collier_

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"What in the hell does that mean?" growled Tommy, his nose flaring in frustration and anger; frustration directed toward her for still keeping everything inside, not letting anyone help her; anger geared toward the ones who hurt her. _How in the hell could it get much worse?_

Tommy's thoughts shifted when he saw the panicked look upon her face. _Alright, you need to calm your ass down, _he thought to himself_, or else she'll close up completely. If you want her to talk then you need to remain composed or else it's all over._

"Kim, I'm just...I want to understand. I want to understand everything."

"Why?" she asked wistfully.

"Cause you were a big part of my life and then you dropped off the planet. I want...I mean I..." he broke off, running a hand distractedly through his dark spikes, his lips pursed in distress. He gulped audibly and continued, "Look, Kim, I spent so long being bitter about you. I spent so long thinking these...I'll admit it, terrible things about you—" she looked away from him, a mixture of sadness and resentment flooding her pale mien—"and I hate myself for it now. In hindsight, I shouldn't have believed it, but I...I can't go back. I can only go forward and I'm not one to just wait around for something to happen. I want to help you."

Through clenched teeth, Kimberly snarled, "Tommy, you've known about this for a total of two and a half days. You don't know me, don't owe me shit, so why can't you just let this go?"

"One, I will not let this go. I'm determined to make things right so stop trying to halt a lost cause. I'm in," he said forcefully; "and two, I don't ever want to hear you say that I don't know you."

"You don't!"

Turning her back on him, Kimberly raced past the table, knocking over a waiter in the process. She didn't even turn around as he fell to the ground dropping the former (save Tommy) Ranger's drinks.

"What the—"

"Jason, stay here. Let me take care of this." Jason heard Tommy's tone and knew there was no room for argument.

While the Rangers and a few other patrons stopped to help the waiter, Jason watched Tommy exit the restaurant in pursuit of Kim.

He trailed down the steps in a panic, trying to locate her. To his left he saw only a sidewalk lined with couples walking hand in hand, arm in arm - but no Kim. To his right he saw their spot at Angel Grove Park.

He ran.

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For a while he just stared at her from behind, watching her hair blow in the breeze of the night. He could almost fool himself into thinking all this had been some bad dream, all of it - her leaving, the letter, fuck - even getting his PhD - and he'd wake up soon only to reunite with her at Angel Grove High.

Almost.

And then she spoke.

"You want to know the truth? Fine, I'll tell you the fucking truth...I lied to you."

For a brief second his legs felt like jelly, like he'd crash to the ground from the blow of her words.

Then she spoke again.

"I lied to Jason. I lied to you both."

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, he closed his eyes and asked, "Meaning?"

"Meaning I lied to Jason when I told him it was a stranger."

Tommy's ears lifted with feline grace, his fingers churning in his palms like jagged knives, his heart pounding with the force of a putty on a high. Maybe he didn't want to know. Maybe he didn't want to know anything.

"Then...who..."

"I knew him. I knew the guy."

Slowly, very slowly, Kimberly turned around, her eyes despairing yet dry. She seemed lost. Lost and bitter - definitely more bitter than he'd seen yet. _How in the fuck can it be worse for her? Hasn't she been through enough?!_

"When I first told Jason that story about a stranger yanking me, forcing me into a van after I fought with all the strength in me, that I wasn't alone...that there were other girls this fucked up thing also happened to, leading me to a heroic-esque type of escape...I told myself it was cause I didn't want him doing anything rash. I lied to myself that I was saving Jason some pain. Though in my heart, even then, I knew it was all bullshit. I knew I told that story to spare myself. I didn't want to face what really happened."

"What happened, Kimmie?" asked Tommy, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Most of it was true. Half of it was true, I should say. You see, I did go to a bar with those girls. I did leave with my friend Sara and we did laugh all the way to our dorms. What I neglected to mention was how tipsy I was. I had some control, but I was out of it. Way out of it."

Tommy didn't know whether to remain in the same spot, rooted to the ground like a melting snowman (for his legs were ready to break on him) or go to her.

"We made it to the dorms only...I remembered that I left my pink sports bag in my locker in the gym. I bid Sara goodnight and entered the gymnastics hall to get my bag. I didn't notice that I wasn't alone until I stumbled toward the exit about to leave."

She kicked a small rock into the water, watching it skip until eventually the ripples coursed off and dissipated. Tommy remained quiet and patient, understanding this admission was difficult for her.

"One of the coaches there...he was by the door. Younger guy than the others, maybe thirty. I don't really remember. He um...well, we didn't exactly practice together a lot. He always seemed to stare at me from across the gym, but I figured I was imaging it. You know, a whole paranoia thing, when you hear someone talking and you immediately think it's about you. I just waved it off, assuming he watched all the girls enrolled in the program."

"He uh...um..."

"Yeah. He 'uh' and 'um'ed you could say. I stumbled quite a bit trying to get away, like I knew it was wrong. He slammed me against one of the cases holding all the weights which is how I got the scar on my back. I slid down on the column-bar and a screw lodged itself just shy of my shoulder blade...he pushed me down and the screw tore through my skin. Deep."

Kimberly took her shoes off then, tossing the black, modest flats into the sand, leaving them for the freezing water. Tommy would have said something, but he lacked the voice to do so. Instead he merely watched Kimberly walk into the icy depths, sighing in mild shock over the cool water.

"He uh...he made it quick. I kept thinking that I should scream, but I couldn't...I just c-couldn't. Maybe if I did then someone would have..."

Water sprayed over Tommy as the breeze swept up Kimberly's kick, the water chilling him from head to toe. Actually, he was already shivering well before then - Kimberly's story haunting him.

"He finished, put everything back in, zipped up, and said 'sorry.' I told him he wouldn't get away with it, you know, the typical line one of us would give Rita back in the day. He came back around and uh...hit me. He hit me hard. And then he left. I quit the next day."

"Oh Kim, why? Why didn't you tell anyone?!" he asked, suddenly outraged over the blatant injustice. In Tommy's opinion, a guy who does something so horrible, so unspeakable, should flat out receive castration and yet this guy walked free. Not only was it criminal, but it felt entirely and astoundingly unfair.

"Why? What case could I have made? I was underage and drunk. He would have denied it and I...it just wasn't worth it."

"Wasn't...worth..." he whispered, his voice deadly calm. Kimberly's shoulders slumped at his tone, her diminutive movements away from him catching his attention. _She's scared of me, _he thought wretchedly_, and she probably always will be. She'll always be afraid of men, even the ones she knows personally. Who the fuck can blame her?_

"So that's it?" he asked.

"Yeah. I told you everything," she muttered back, surreptitiously trying to wipe her eyes; she failed.

Tommy shook his head in response, replying, "That's not what I meant, Kim. I mean...just like that you give up? That's not the Kimberly I remember."

"The Kimberly you remember is dead."

"The Kimberly I remember was a fighter! She fought back and didn't stand for others bringing her down. She sure as hell didn't stand for a man taking away her dignity!"

Kimberly faced him, her wet eyes meeting his as she whispered, "The Kimberly you knew wrote a letter. It was all the fight I had left in me."

"So you're going to just go back to your home in where? Yeah, New Jersey, right, where you'll continue to hate yourself, you'll never let anyone in your life, and then perhaps wake up to learn you're fifty and never lived. Is that it?"

"Hopefully I'll realize it when I hit forty," she quipped, laughing as she kicked her feet up.

Tommy gruffly rubbed his face up and down, the muscles in his back tensing from the stress. He wasn't normally like this. He didn't concern himself over anything other than the Rangers and his job, two things which, needless to say, were far less worrisome than the one-time beauty before him. Normally he was calm and collected at all times, the master of his composure and patience. Yet, since he's been there he'd been nothing short of childish, petty, anxious, and...cold-hearted - something he'd NEVER been.

"Kimmie...why do you want to hate yourself so much?" he asked, shaking his head and clenching his fists; "why continue to wallow in misery? It doesn't do any good."

"I don't...d-don't know how else...to be," she sobbed, attempting to smile and failing miserably. Sucking in short breaths piling on one another, she wrapped her arms around herself, a futile effort at self-protection.

Tentatively, as unthreateningly as he could, Tommy took a step forward, whispering, "It's okay, Kim."

"Don't," she countered, shaking her head.

"It's okay, Kim," he continued, taking two more steps forward, his shoes stepping into the icy water.

"Stop it, please," she chocked out, her breaths rapidly increasing.

Tommy didn't stop, taking another few steps, soaking his shoes entirely as the water reached up to his ankles. Under other circumstances he would have registered the pain, but not right then. He only saw, heard, and smelled her, his senses in complete overdrive. He never imagined himself being affected by her like this. Hell, he never imagined himself being affected like this by anyone. Just demonstrated how much of his heart she held. He admitted it to himself several times - he still loved her - but it was back when he still held bitter feelings of resentment toward her. Betrayal is a hard act to overlook. Yet, he realized with a great sadness, guilt and regret are even harder. With the strength of everything in him - his power coin, his martial art abilities, his capability to forgive (an ideal strength many could only dream of having) - he would give himself over to her again. He knew it. Done. Over and complete. Kimberly Hart, his first true love, captured him once again and once again without her true knowledge. He couldn't leave her alone now even if he wanted to.

"Tommy, please," she whimpered, tears copiously falling down her reddened cheeks.

"It's okay, Kim," he repeated again, his feet carrying him deep into the water directly in front of the petite girl. "It's okay, Kim. It's okay..."

Then his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her fiercely to his chest, breathing in her scent and taking in the feel of her body. She struggled for a moment, whipping her arms in an attempt to free herself, but he wouldn't budge. Eventually she sobbed pitifully and openly against his chest, exhaustion and pain flooding her all at once. She cried for the loss of her innocence, for the loss of Tommy, and, most of all, the loss of her damn life! Tommy held her the entire time, murmuring to her every few seconds, "It's okay, Kim. It's okay."

"I...I c-can't...c-hant...I can't breathe!"

He realized she was hyperventilating and fast, her face blanching and fists tightening. Tommy pulled her closer, taking in deep breaths, allowing her to fall in sync with his own pattern of breathing. His method worked, and soon she'd calmed, fatigue nearly making her collapse. Without saying another word, Tommy swept the girl into his arms, picked up her shoes with her firmly clasped to his chest, and bodily carried her to his jeep. He laid her down gently in the passenger seat before he went around to get in his car himself.

He made a quick call to Jason; one: telling him not to panic, and two: asking him where the hide-a-key was for his house. He would have just taken Kim to his hotel room, but after her admission, knowing the truth, there was no way in hell he'd take her somewhere she didn't know. It was apparent she desperately craved routine, something she knew, as to remain in her comfort zone.

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Kimberly woke up feeling more drained then she had in a long time. The moment her eyelids lifted and her pretty eyes adjusted to the slight darkness, her body seemed to come back to her. She could feel the tear stains on her cheeks and the chaffing of sand still lingering on her toes, feet, and calves. Though she felt sticky and gross, she couldn't help think she'd slept in the softest bed she'd ever been in.

Then it struck her.

She was not on a bed, but on the couch...and Tommy was behind her, his arms loosely wrapped around her waist.

Kimberly gently eased herself on her side so as not to wake him and stared up at the sleeping man. He looked distressed in his sleep, though undeniably handsome.

_Damn, _she thought with a minute smile,_ the years have been very kind. _

As if responding to her, Tommy sighed in his sleep, readjusting himself, his hands tightening ever so slightly to pull her closer.

She tensed.

Feeling his hands like that...she felt overwhelmed and slightly claustrophobic forcing her to pry them away, switching to the other side of the couch.

All the movement made him jolt from his sleep, opening his eyes to see the girl he still loved sitting across from him, her legs drawn to her chest, her arms wrapped around, and her face pressed to her knees. His heart clenched at seeing her in such a tormented state.

"Kim?" he whispered cautiously.

No response.

"Kimmie, please look at me."

Again, she did not answer.

"Kim...if you want me to leave, I will."

At this he got a reaction; her head shot up, her eyes immediately searching for his, and pleaded, "No, don't go. Please."

Those four words nearly rendered him lifeless. He'd been wanting to hear those words - again, like many things, wouldn't even admit the information to himself - for so long. Only...well, he'd rather have heard them under different circumstances and certainly in a different manner.

"Where are we?" she asked, a little fear spilling out.

Sighing, Tommy answered, "Jason's. When we got here you were asleep and I didn't think you'd feel comfortable laying in a bed with me. So I um...just kind of put us here." He spoke lamely, not having the balls to meet her eyes.

"Where are Jason and Trini?"

"Bed. They got back a couple of hours ago and didn't want to wake you," he replied, cracking his back against the arm of the couch.

"I'm not an idiot."

Tommy lifted his head up, the expression on his face one of bewilderment. He didn't understand what brought the thought up. _I never thought—_

"I know I need help," she told him, her right hand tugging on a soft brown curl. "I know I need...should see someone. I'm not an idiot."

"Kimmie, I—"

"I know, Tommy. It's just...it's always been easier to just keep it to myself. I wrote the letter cause I knew you deserved better than some stupid bitch who fucked up one night."

Licking his lips and clenching his fists, hard enough to leave nail imprints etched inside of his palm. "You thought...better..."

"I don't tell anyone cause it's not something I'm particularly proud of. I'd rather indulge myself in the fantasy of thinking it happened by some big tough, brutish guy and not some lame-ass gymnastics coach. I don't want to talk to some stranger about the second worse night of my life."

Tommy didn't miss nor hesitate, immediately asking, "The second? What could possibly be the first?"

"The other day...when you s-said you wished...that you never met me," she cried, sobs racking her body again. _Damn it, _she thought angrily, _I don't want to cry again! Suck it up, you fucking baby, he's seen enough of your tears. _Hastily she tried to wipe her tears, figuring - falsely - he was sick of her blubbering like an idiot. Goodness knows she long since tired it herself. She continued, "I at least...uh...before I c-could pretend that you uh...still loved me. It gave m-me something t-to hold on to. I uh...I know you c-c-care, at least. You always care about all the rangers. I can um...I'll take caring. I like caring."

Kimberly lost herself in the thought process, babbling incoherently at this point, the pain of her life causing a flood of emotions to overwhelm her. Little did she know, the man next to her was in just as much pain as her. Tommy, shaking from head to toe, his teeth clenched so tight it hurt, could hardly explain himself. He felt nauseous, the pit of his stomach heavy with something threatening to come back up. His breathing started to hitch, only allowing out short little spurts of breath, overcome by what she'd said.

_When did everything go to Hell?_

Still rambling on and on, her face nearly purple from lack of oxygen, Tommy turned to her, leaning in before she had the chance to move away. Her eyes widened as he placed a finger against her lips, effectively shushing her. Now, without her lilting voice filling the room, only the soft sounds of her sobbing blocked the silence. Once he knew she wouldn't speak, he cupped her cheek and sighed heavily.

"Kimberly," he began hoarsely, "it's apparent to me that you understand this. I...I would never trade what we had for anything. I loved you so very much and what we had was extremely rare. Special. A Gift. No matter what I say in anger or what I say at any time...you need to know this. Know that I would never give any of it up. I can't...it's...it's like you're imbedded in my heart."

"I'm sorry," she whispered sadly, trying to pull her face from his grasp. His firm grip didn't allow this.

"Kimmie, that's a good thing. That's a really good thing. And no matter what you say about yourself, no matter what you say about what happened...I'm always going to think of you this way. You're beautiful, Kim."

And damn, did he mean it. Even with her blotchy face red rimmed from crying, her eyes swollen from tears and her lips nearly raw from consistent gnawing, Tommy thought of her as gorgeous. He could still see the sixteen year old girl he met and fell in love with. He could still see her.

He just hoped he could get her to see it.

"You're perfect," he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers, rubbing her soft cheek still stained with tears.

Sighing, she chocked, "Tommy, I...I appreciate what you're saying, b-but...you don't have to do this."

"I need you to believe me."

Brushing his hand away, her forehead still lingering against his, Kimberly murmured, "I want to."

"I'll help you," he whispered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, "I've got to."

The moment the words filtered in the air, the bracelet on Tommy's wrist began to pulse brilliantly with light.

* * *

With the two weeks I just had, it's amazing I got this chapter out so feel free to be proud of me :) Anyway, my life isn't going to get any less stressful so again, you'll have to be patient for these updates. I'm liking the direction I'm taking this story - hint, hint! The next chapter is when everything starts to turn (but which way, you'll have to guess) - and I hope you all are enjoying it too. Let me know what you guys think. The reviews so far have been_ great_ and are truly the reason I've invested so much time in this story. 

Tootles!


	9. Chapter 8: Come With Me

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**Come With Me**

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"_Can I ask you a question, please? Promise you won't laugh at me? Honestly, I'm standing here, afraid I'll be betrayed...can you turn my black roses red?"_

_-Alana Grace, "Black Roses Red"_

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The familiar blaring beeping of his Dino Thunder band made Tommy clench his fist and growl with slight frustration. He'd finally gotten Kimberly to open up, to admit to a few things buried deep down in her repressed subconscious, and naturally his 'side job' affected the moment. These were the moments when he hated the obligations stemming from his Power Ranger life. Normally he'd simply tell the other person he had a call to make, mask the bleeping of his bracelet by placing blame on telecommunication, but he couldn't do it with Kim. One just because of who she was - the original Pink Ranger - so why bother? She'd see through the lies. And two...he valued her too much. He couldn't lie to her now if he wanted to.

"What is that?" asked Kimberly, pulling her face away from his, concern suddenly edged on her pretty features.

Tommy reached up, his hand cupping her cheek and pushing a stray curl back behind her ear. Her skin felt like silk beneath his finger tips, supple and smooth; unblemished. Years ago, back in their high school days, he remembered feeling her skin from time to time, when they'd share a sweet, chaste kiss. He often traced her features, outlining her eyes or pressing her earlobe between the tips of his calloused fingers. Back then she'd love it. However, the years had altered their relationship and instead of embracing him, she pushed his hand away; not releasing it, boring her eyes into his. Tommy gulped, sighed inwardly, and dropped her gaze.

Then she knew.

"You're a Ranger?" she asked perplexed, "again? After all these years...you're doing this again?"

"Yes," he answered softly, brushing his thumb over her small, dainty fingers.

Suddenly, like a flash of her morphing, Kimberly pounced out of her seat next to him, taking position in front of the man. She looked angrier than perhaps he'd ever seen her.

"Kimmie?"

"You stupid, stupid, _stupid _man!" she bellowed, smacking him behind his head. Tommy watched with wide eyes and listened, feeling obtuse, as she screamed, "How could you do this? You can't risk your life like this again. You're not seventeen anymore!"

"Kim, you're overreacting." He couldn't understand all this hostility, especially coming from a fellow Ranger. One of the originals too! He wasn't asking for a pat on the back, but...he didn't expect this. It caught him off guard.

"Overreacting," she repeated, her voice tight with controlled anger. "You think I'm overreacting? How dare you?!"

"Now I'm lost," he admitted, desperately wanting to hold her again. It had been a long time since he'd felt that sweet girl in his arms. He often thought about his high school days when many of his friends assumed the worst about him and Kim, thinking them some undercover racy couple. Many times, behind his back of course, he'd heard about some of the guys in his class taking bets when it'd come out about them sleeping together. He never indulged them, never dropping any amount of details concerning their relationship for he had far too much respect for Kimberly and himself, forever the class act. Tommy knew Kim felt the same way and acted accordingly, never dishing to her many girlfriends about what they did when they were alone. All they did when alone involved Kimberly snuggling up against his chest, Tommy's arms locked loosely around her waist. Yeah, he'd love to go back to something like that with her.

However, understanding the situation, he decided to let her vent, hoping he'd soon get to the bottom of her underlying anger.

"Tommy...you're not young anymore. You don't just have to worry about your parents finding out, but about your career, about loved ones, and about yourself. I understand you're still doing karate and my goodness you look better than ever, but come on...you're not exactly as fit as you were then. You don't possess the same energy like we did back then."

"What's going on?"

The arguing pair turned toward the voice to see Jason standing by the staircase clad in black sleeping pants and a white wife-beater. Concern battled with slight suspicion on his face, not to mention a large amount of fatigue. Stepping down to the bottom step, he asked, "You guys, what are you both doing up and what in the hell are you yelling about?"

"Just discussing Tommy's bracelet thing," muttered Kim, hastily wiping her eyes with the back of her forearm, feeling like a ten-year-old child.

Jason looked to see Tommy's Dino Thunder band glowing while a annoying beep sounded, alerting him that the current rangers were calling Tommy. Nodding, he gave Kimberly an understanding smile.

"You knew?" she asked with wide eyes. Jason sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, making Kimberly shout, "Why in the hell must you boys insist upon being reckless? Why do you feel the need to be cowboys, hmm? Don't you think it's time for someone else to carry that burden?"

"It's not a burden, Kim," defended Tommy softly.

"You can classify it as a calling, but damn it...it didn't exactly make life easy then and sure as hell can't be making life easy now. And why didn't you tell me Jason?"

Jason, though he appeared awake, still felt slightly groggy from sleep. Precisely why the next words left his mouth without too much thought.

"Kim, it's not like you're his girlfriend. Hell, it's not like you're even frien..."

Kimberly stepped back and moved her head with understanding, though the hurt was clear as dawn. Tommy dropped his face in his hands, not exactly mad at Jason but exasperated by his tactlessness. Jason, however, jumped back at the chance to set things right; "Kim, I didn't mean—"

"Good night, Jason. Tommy."

With pursed lips and a sad disposition, Kimberly walked past Jason and up the stairs, prepared to spend the rest of the night next to Trini. After they heard the door shut, Jason and Tommy exchanged a look which spoke volumes.

"I didn't mean to hurt her."

"I know," answered Tommy with a heavy sigh, "Trust me, I know better than anyone."

The flash of his Dino Thunder band brought them out of their shared reverie and Tommy found himself instead zoning in on his wrist. Exhaling audibly, Tommy pulled it to his mouth, and asked, "Connor? It's one in the morning."

"Sorry, Dr. O, but you wouldn't believe the night all of us just had. The school dance was tonight and well, mid-dance mesogog sent some henchmen to crash. His goons actually swarmed the dance right in the middle of Kyra's performance. It sucked, but we managed to get out of sight, morph and everything else. Dr. O...it's getting harder each day you're gone."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Tommy told him, "I understand that, but Connor...my friend still needs me here."

"Dr. O, I hate to say it but we need you."

Tommy peered over to see Jason with a serious expression although quite indecipherable. He couldn't exactly tell what his friend thought he should do. A problem given the current Ranger certainly could have used some advice.

"I'll talk to you about it tomorrow, Connor. Unless it's truly an emergency?"

"No, it's cool right now and I'm sure we'll make it if need be, but..." Connor's voice sounded meek, unusual for the extreme soccer player. Tommy learned quickly how much Connor liked to hear himself speak. When bad times occurred, much like now, his voice dropped, a sure sign of trouble on his behalf. He'd have to return home. Soon.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Connor," replied Tommy with finality.

He could practically see the simper on the current Red Ranger's face; "Good night, Dr. O."

Dropping his wrist, Tommy stared forward for a long while, drinking in the situation, thinking about everything he needed to do. Billy needed him, but so did the Rangers.

Kim needed him...

"Jason—"

"I think you already know what to do. I'll stand by you, buddy, but...she's fragile. She can't take much more. You're my best friend, but if you hurt her, I'll hurt you."

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"So, what happened with you and Tommy last night?"

The sweatshirt over Kimberly's head decided to get stuck at this precise moment, much to her relief. Kimberly pretended to not hear the question, asking, "Can you help me? I'm stuck!"

Laughing, Trini merrily walked over to her friend and helped pull down the clingy material, Kimberly's head popping out, hair flying all over the place. Trini smirked at her friend, the question still on her mind. One of Trini Kwan's greatest qualities - though some might call it a pain in the ass, too - was her ability to remember even the smallest, insignificant of details. The entire opposite of our loveable Tommy Oliver.

"So?"

"So what?" Kimberly tried to play it off like nothing mattered, feeling like she'd crack if she had to discuss anything serious, though anyone could easily see through her. Especially a girl who used to share clothes with her back when they were fifteen. Not to mention shoes, purses, hats...

"Are you going to play stupid all night?"

Kimberly bit her lip, knowing Trini would eventually tackle her if need be. She'd get the information out of her. This was the original Yellow Ranger after all, and she'd been known for her strong personality.

"I freaked out a little and Tommy and I just talked for a while. That's it."

"That's it?" asked Trini, sounding throughly unconvinced.

Nodding quickly, Kimberly darted for the door, running down the stairs before Trini had the opportunity to question her further. Yet, due to her focus on the girl upstairs, she didn't focus about where she currently was. She tripped on the last stair, landing directly into Jason's arms.

"Whoa, steady there."

Bringing her to her feet, Kimberly shoved some of her hair behind her ears while Jason tried to gauge her mood this morning.

"Look, Kim, I didn't mean—"

"Don't worry about it. You were right," she muttered hastily, pushing past him without looking back.

Jason willed himself to follow her, to talk some sense in his distressed friend, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him from pursuing her.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Trini, I um...I didn't hear you coming down the stairs," he replied, disregarding her question. Like Kimberly, Jason didn't expect her to take that as an answer, but, like Kimberly, he tried anyway.

"There is something wrong with her. There is something seriously wrong with her and I know you and Tommy are hiding it. At this point, I don't even care what it is. I don't care what she did or what happened or about anything that happened all those years ago when she left. I don't give a damn about the grudge Tommy holds against her. I do, however, care about her and I care about Billy. Whatever problem is plaguing her...it's affecting him. He knows she doesn't want to be here and I know it has nothing to do with him. She's..." Trini exhaled heavily, rubbing her hands over her face, "She's just not all here for Billy. What the hell is wrong with her?"

The thick throbbing behind Jason's temples reminded him why he hated high school. He didn't have any of this drama back home. Then again, his friends there weren't like the ones from Angel Grove. These were his soul mates, his first friends, his best friends...the Rangers. Their bond couldn't just turn itself off, not even right then, when Trini finally questioned the motives of the girl he loved like a sister.

"Kimberly changed. I can't speak on her behalf, but I'll just say that you need to let her be. If and when she comes to you, then you'll know."

"Hello? Jason, you all here? She won't come to me and you know that. Hence the problem we're all in. Well, everyone aside from you and Tommy," she sneered, sounding indignant.

"Then Trini, by all means go ask her. Talk to her yourself, I don't care. Just don't expect me to tell you anything about her. I don't like talking about other people's business behind their backs. You want to know then grow some balls and ask."

"I should kick yours," she hissed, brushing past his arm, getting ready to visit their friend in the hospital.

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"Billy...I need to talk to you about something."

Tommy's uneasy voice caught the attention of every person in the room, particularly Kimberly, the one who didn't like change. Jason gave Kim's arm a loving squeeze, but she ignored it. Her eyes never left the man who still held her heart.

"What's going on, Tommy?" asked Billy, curious.

"I um...I haven't been honest with you. I haven't been honest with most of you," he said sheepishly, avoiding everyone's gaze.

"Meaning?" Trini butted in, hoping she'd finally get to the bottom of why her friends were acting so weird.

"Um...damn, this is harder than I thought," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. The amount of pressure he displayed nearly took off some of his skin. "You see, I've kind of taken up post in an old position of mine. Of ours."

"Position?" questioned Katherine, her brow furrowed.

"You're a Ranger," said Trini, her statement knocking everyone else off their feet. Nobody, save Kimberly, Billy, and Jason, expected to hear that ever again.

"Dino Thunder Rangers. I'm black this time. I'm...the other Rangers are my students. They're the same age we were and I need..." Tommy ran a hand through his short spikes in aggravation, feeling tongue-tied, unable to articulate. "Look, I thought they could handle it. I thought I could take some time off to be here, but they're having trouble. Apparently Mesogog, the current Rita Repulsa, or Ivan Ooze if you want to think of him that way, decided to crash now that I'm gone. The Rangers need me there. Apparently they've been taking some hard hits."

Tommy waited.

He waited for the blow up like the one Kimberly gave him. He waited for them to scream, shout, call him a fool, tell him he was an idiot, that he was too old.

It never came.

When Tommy peered toward his friends, he found smiles and nods of understanding. He found shocked expressions, but not anger. He saw worry, yes, but the good kind. He could deal with this.

"You've got to go to them, Tommy," said Billy sternly, giving his friend a small smile. "I didn't want this ordeal to...to keep you from your lives. I didn't want that—"

"Billy—"

"Let me finish," interrupted Billy, determined to get his words heard. "I didn't want you to risk everything. The fact that you came at all means more to me than anything. Leaving cause you're helping fellow Rangers, helping people I admire and respect without having met them, though they sound great from what you told me the other day...I definitely can recognize that. I can appreciate that, Tommy."

"You're going to get better, Billy. You have to."

"I know, Tommy, and I will. Go help the Rangers."

Smiling, feeling astounded over Billy's wisdom - though he knew he shouldn't have; it was Billy, after all - Tommy rose to his feet and bent down close to his friend. He whispered only so Billy could hear, "The current Blue Ranger reminds me of you...smart with just a hint of mischief in him."

"Blue isn't melancholy for all," noted Billy, a smirk in his voice.

"Right, as per your usual," jested Tommy, shaking his friend's hand.

After hugging many of them goodbye and assuring everyone he'd return as soon as could (meaning within a few days - he refused to abandon Billy at a time like this, no matter how much the intelligent man guaranteed him he'd be alright), he left the room.

Kimberly, tears in her eyes (she'd been one of the two who hadn't received so much as a glance from him), stood up and followed him straight to the parking lot.

"What was that?" she asked boldly, finally being the one to confront rather than just taking it. So caught up in her emotions, she didn't even register this new wave of confidence. "Hey! You can at least have the decency to look at me."

Tommy sighed and turned around, facing the flushed girl head on. The corners of his mouth drifted up at the sight of her. Her seventeen-year-old self looked pretty standing there.

"Come with me."

His abrupt request caught her off guard, making her step back a few times. Had he really just said that? What did this mean? What did he expect of her?

As though he could read her mind, Tommy quickly said, "It's nothing like that, Kim. You've...damn it, it's not like that at all. I'm just...I thought maybe if you could see life a little differently...if you could see my life then maybe..."

"Maybe what?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper.

Tommy turned his back on her, pacing around a small perimeter, making sure to give her the right amount of space. He clearly realized she'd taken the wrong impression from his words, but Tommy Oliver was never one to just give up. Tommy needed her to realize his point of view.

"Kim, I want you to come see the Rangers. I want you to do _something_." His last word came out with slight vehemence, explaining, "I know the type of person you've become. You've ostracized yourself. You get up, go to work, and then come home, right?"

Nobody likes hearing such things about themselves. Nobody likes having somebody they love, someone who means the world to them (and in Kim's eyes, it's a one-way love), tell them the problems with their life. Kimberly didn't want to admit it, but yes, her life, if put on paper, looked like that. She didn't have many friends there and the ones she did only saw her at work. She'd have lunch with them, banter on about things in their office or whatever stupid gossip came up, nothing of true importance; never seeing them outside of the office. She kept her cubicle clean so as not to cause problems with the custodial staff. After completing her tasks for the day, she'd venture home to meet up with Snapper, her fifty pound Siberian Husky. Aside from being great company, the dog acted as her body guard, her protection from everyone and everything.

"How transparent have I become?"

"Kimmie, I'm a teacher. I'm tangled in the web of high school. Trust me, I can tell personalities based on clothes alone. You can say my judgments might lie, but I guarantee you, I'm right nine out of ten times."

Accepting his answer, Kimberly wrapped her arms around herself as though trying to thwart off those bad thoughts. A chill swept her up, one which extended from her toes to her ears, making her teeth chatter.

Turning around, meeting him back for back, she questioned, "what does any of this have to do with me going with you?"

"See a different kind of life. See what your life can be and see if it's what you want. This could help you. I want to help you."

"You want to help me...or you want to fix me?"she asked bitterly.

Realizing he needed to make the next admission to her face, he turned around and walked in front of her, noting her tense and tight body language. Gently yet firmly, he slipped his hand beneath her chin and willed her to look him in the eyes.

"Kim...you don't need to be fixed. This...what happened to you is superimposed over your life. I know that and you're smart enough to know that. I want...I want to take it away. Stop letting this thing obscure the rest of your life. I want to help you try to live. It's just a matter of whether your willing to or not."

Kimberly felt a surge zip throughout her, the same type of feeling she'd get when someone reached out to her. She got it whenever a coworker invited her to a party; whenever Jason asked her to come visit him in California; and she felt it now, with Tommy looking at her with so much hope.

However, unlike before, she also felt a jolt of excitement bubble around her, too. She wanted to go. God help her, she wanted to go.

"What do you say, Kim?"

Licking her lips, biting into her lower one, she asked, "I...what about Billy? What about your friends and the Rangers...I don't want to impose."

"I think he'll understand. I think they all will," he told her, positive his friends knew she needed it. "As for my friends, don't worry about it. They'll love you. What do you say?"

Taking a deep breath, Kimberly surprised herself with the response...

"I say yes."

* * *

Yay! Some progress for Kim - this is a good thing, yeah? Also, thanks to the lovelies that reviewed last chapter - you bring me smiles. Life is still stressful school wise so again, be patient with me. I'm loving this story, have it all planned out, and it's just a matter of me penning it. I'm hoping to have it out soon.

Oh and note, I'm a Mighty Morphin chick through and through, meaning I stopped watching after that era ended. Anyway, my knowledge about PRDT is limited (though I've been watching a few episodes lately so I can know the characters better) and I got most of my information from internet research. I apologize if it's not all accurate, but keep in mind - it is fanfiction.


	10. Chapter 9: That Girl

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**That Girl**

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"_If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."_

_-Albert Einstein_

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"Do you remember that terrible double date we had with Zach and what's-her-face?" asked Tommy, his eyes on the road, but his focus centered on the girl beside him.

Smiling at the thought, she answered, "Her name was Angela and yes, I remember the day well. In fact, I particularly enjoyed seeing you, oh great leader, covered in cake!"

"Aw man, I forgot about that. Though I wouldn't say it was all over me. Just that hideous jacket of mine."

Laughing, Kimberly responded, "We still managed to have fun that day...even with Rita and her evil cronies, not to mention none of us could speak French. It was more pathetic than anything else."

"Yeah, I'll second that. Though, I still remember another date of ours fizzling. Remember? It involved a purse and—"

"And Angel Grove Park. Yes, I remember that one too. You looked so cute then...with your long hair. Why'd you cut it?"

Running a hand through his short spikes, Tommy replied, "I kept it for a long time. It was my trademark, but...I don't know, something came over me in college. I needed a change in my life and I decided the easiest route would go through the appearance. I had a friend chop it off and I've been wearing it short ever since."

"I like it," she told him, forgetting anything other than their conversation for a moment and ran her small fingers through the gelled spikes; "it looks good on you."

Tommy took his eyes off the road, momentarily, to stare at her. Their dark eyes met, stopping one another for a single second; stopping time. Nothing else needed to exist, much the way it hadn't back when they were sixteen and just starting to fall in love. It was a second to pass all too quick. Kimberly pulled her hand back and hastily muttered, "but then again, you'd look good wearing a paper bag and some string."

Tommy didn't miss the hesitancy, the way she pulled away. He realized he'd have to accept her acting that way toward him, her reluctance to let him in her life, and inability to open up about the most minute of incidents or ideas. Keeping this in mind, he laughed at her comment, trying to ease the tension which had flooded his jeep. Kimberly seemed to calm some, assuaging Tommy's worries. The last thing he needed was for her to stay quiet the rest of the ride to Reefside.

"So...what are the Rangers like?" she asked, a hint of extreme curiosity in her tone.

"They're a great group of kids. Smart, daring, and...I think a lot like we were back in the day. You know, completely different yet the same due to the common bond. Before this happened they wouldn't have been caught dead hanging out together."

"That different? How extreme are these kids?" she asked with interest.

Tommy went on to tell her about the Rangers, and his friend Hayley, for the rest of the drive to Reefside. Before she knew it, he was pulling up to a very nice house in the backwoods, one she could only assume was his.

"Before you say anything," he told her quickly, "I want you to know that I have a spare bedroom. It's downstairs and you'll have your own bathroom and space and anything else you need. You don't have to worry about anything, alright?"

He felt a hint of pain as she gulped noticeably, obviously trying to not let anything get to her. The sight of the house and a mixture of worried anticipation had her feeling slightly overwhelmed.

"I know. I'll be fine, Tommy," she tried to assure him, giving him a real, if not a little small, smile.

Tommy went on to grab their bags, denying her the option of carrying her own in - "I can handle that myself, you know," she'd mumbled in a low voice - and heading up the steps into his home. He had to admit, it felt nice to finally be back in his own territory. He loved his house, spent a great deal of time in the place, and, even more so, hated staying in hotel rooms. Plus, the present company certainly was a welcomed change.

"Wow, Tommy, it's great," she gushed, staring around the living room with wide eyes. Having been used to her small place for so long made her forget life existed differently back home in California. The place was positively gorgeous.

Setting their bags down in the entry hall, Tommy led her into the living area, allowing her the opportunity to linger for a moment as he went into the kitchen to call Jason. He didn't blame the man for being paranoid. Tommy knew, just as he had back when Kim first entered his life, the girl was a treasure.

Kimberly's eyes scanned over the pictures all over his home. Mr. and Mrs. Oliver were frequent participants in his photos, always smiling and hugging their only child. Jason appeared in several, the two growing more and more handsome with age. Kimberly even found herself laughing over Jason's attire, the man surreptitiously sneaking red into his wardrobe. She wondered if it was intentional or not. Tommy, on the other hand, differed when it came to his clothes. Then she remembered just how many colors he'd been through before. And now black.

She felt herself trembling just at the thought of it.

Shaking her head, Kimberly continued to look over the pictures. A pretty redhead belonged in quite a few and she figured that must be the famous Hayley...his best friend.

Tommy had this life, this big life, and she didn't belong in it. Unlike her, whose house had nothing but pictures from her teenage years with the Rangers, Tommy present in nearly all of them, he appeared to have moved on nicely.

A twinge tugged at her heart. She couldn't exactly tell which emotion it was, but she knew it wasn't a good one—

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Throwing a hand over her chest, her breathing skyrocketing, Kimberly turned around toward the door, utterly shocked at the unexpected interruption. Her mind raced over what she should do. It wasn't her house, and she barely knew the person the house belonged to.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Biting her lip, Kimberly called out in a soft voice, "Tommy?"

When nothing sounded, Kimberly moved toward the door, unaware of her feet's movement. Whether someone wanted to believe her or not, this normally wasn't a dilemma for her. She only had the occasional neighbor coming over asking her to feed the cat for a weekend. Who better than the weird chick who never went anywhere? But this...this was something else. She didn't enter her house to immediately have the door bombarded by an unknown source.

"_Tommy?_" she called again, more urgently than before. Faintly she could hear his lilting voice talking to Jason, but she couldn't bring herself to call out to him with more gusto.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Sucking in a deep breath, Kimberly slowly unlocked the door and peered through, stopping short when she saw four teenage kids standing in the doorway.

"You're not Doc O," noted the boy dressed in a red t-shirt, bewildered expression on his face.

The only girl present stood in the middle, several inches shorter than the boys, smacked the boy behind the head. Kimberly might have smiled if she didn't feel so overwhelmed. The girl cleared her throat, "Sorry, but um...is Doctor Oliver here?"

"Um..."

In the back of her mind she knew she was being childish, acting like a stuttering little girl at her own ruined birthday party, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything else. Thank goodness Tommy arrived and stopped her incoherent mumbles, as if sensing her discomfort.

He pulled the door open entirely, standing tall next to Kim and smiling at the Dino Thunder Rangers on his porch. He shot Kim a quick if furtive glance of reassurance before he said, "Hey, guys! I wasn't expecting you just yet. Is something wrong?"

Kimberly listened and watched as the girl responded, "We um...well, we knew you'd be home around the time school got out so we all came directly from there to see you...um, is this a bad time?"

Tommy realized Kira was subtly giving him an out. She didn't realize Kimberly already knew everything about their alter egos.

"Um...I was actually going to wait on this for a while, but why not? Come on in, you guys. Kimberly, can we talk in the kitchen for a minute?"

Mutely acknowledging him, she followed him into his kitchen while the young kids got situated in Tommy's tidy living room. She could sense his agitation in his body language - any idiot could - but she figured it was from his worry over her rather than anything else. He faced her once they were alone, the concern and apprehension mixing in his gaze.

"I didn't plan on introducing you all just yet. I figured we'd at least have one day here first, but I guess...I hope you're okay with this. Please tell me if you aren't and I'll take care of it, I promise."

Smiling wanly and shaking her head, she told him, "It's okay, Tommy. I'm not going to freak out."

"I didn't say you would. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

The softness in his voice, the gentle quaver she heard, made her feel...safe. Safe? Only Jason ever made her feel safe and now someone else had the ability too. Immediately she clung to the feeling, pulled it to her like someone grasping a blanket in a blizzard. His protection of her felt palpable and that in itself felt remarkable.

"Like you said, I had to meet them eventually so why not now?"

Tommy nodded and for a split second, Kimberly thought he was going to lean forward and kiss the top of her head. She could only imagine feeling those sweet, soft lips pressed against any part of her. She remembered him doing it often, back when they'd been dating at sixteen. Sometimes Kim would notice him doing it randomly, his focus and attention on something else. Knowing he did it absentmindedly, without thought, always elicited a smile from her. She craved that. She missed that. She desperately wanted it now. However, hesitancy turned into him stepping back and beckoning her to follow him. Suddenly she felt foolish, thinking it silly to even imagine such things happening anymore. Perhaps she desired that sort of intimate contact because he was familiarity. He'd been her only one and true boyfriend, love, and whatever else they could consider themselves. Kimberly never experienced anything else in her twenty-seven years of life and at least with Tommy...she knew him. She still trusted him, though he often times made it hard to.

_Is that why I want this? What the hell do I even want? I barely let him touch me and yet I'm craving a kiss? What is wrong with me?!_

Shaking the thoughts away - not completely, but for her to fret over at another time - Kimberly followed Tommy into the living room, her eyes falling on the four kids squished together on one couch.

Again, another thing she might have laughed over if she wasn't feeling so overwhelmed.

"Hey guys," began Tommy, his voice tentative, "I'd like you all to meet someone. Kimberly—" he addressed her first, turning his eyes on her—"these are the Dino Thunder Rangers. Rangers—" he turned back to them, though his arm was still pointed out to her, a stance of introduction—"this is Kimberly Hart. The—"

"The original pink Ranger!" shouted Ethan, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head.

"We thought you dropped off the planet or something," started Connor, looking at her with a dumbfounded expression. Tommy shot him a look making Connor continue, "Well, she's like the only Ranger we've never heard about. You tell us what's going on with everyone else, but never her."

"Perhaps cause it's none of your business," growled Tommy, not unkind but authoritative. "I don't discuss every Ranger with you."

"Yeah, but at least we knew about them or met them. She's like...the phantom Ranger. I was worried you didn't even exist."

"Connor, shut up," scolded Kira, her wild hair falling out of her ponytail; "I'm always pleased to meet a fellow Ranger, especially a female. And you're one of the originals! It's an honor, truly."

"Plus," continued Connor, once again forgetting to have any tact, "I don't even recognize you. You don't look anything like the girl you did in those pictures Doctor O showed us."

At this Kimberly felt a little self-conscious, her eyes casting down. It was one thing to worry about her fears (much like she constantly hoped she still had Tommy's love) and another to have someone actually confirm the truth of the matter (now she knew otherwise - she just knew he no longer loved her).

However, before she could dwell, Tommy yelled, "Enough Connor! Where in the hell are your manners?"

Realizing he'd said too much, Connor blushed, a red hue tinting his cheeks, and sunk down in his seat more. Tommy still glared daggers for a moment, inwardly terrified the comments had hurt Kim. He promised her this trip, this excursion back to the Rangers would bring her some release, some reason. The last thing he wanted was for her to realize she wanted nothing to ever do with this life again.

"It's okay, Tommy," she said in a low voice, a hint of sadness in there. Tommy figured the Rangers didn't notice it, but he sure as hell did. Connor's words had hurt her. Well, if she wanted to forget about then he'd drop it...for now.

"Well, let me actually introduce all of them. Let's start over there with the man on the end. That would be Trent Fernandez, white Ranger...if you hadn't already guessed."

"Still wearing colors, I see," she commented, smiling for the first time. Trent simply smirked and nodded, waving at her as a friendly gesture.

"Moving on...we've got Ethan James, computer wiz and the current blue Ranger." Tommy couldn't help but feel proud over Ethan at having known Kim based on name alone. He took his standing as a Ranger seriously.

"It's very nice to meet you," he said, giving her a soft-hearted smile.

Kimberly returned it, albeit it too came out small, before Tommy drew her attention toward the girl. He said, "This would be Kira Ford, respectively the only female on the team and the current yellow Ranger."

"It's nice meeting one of the bravest chick Rangers. I mean...you were an original. You helped start it all."

Tommy smiled inwardly at Kira's comment. The girl had no idea what her words meant to him. She also didn't know what her words meant to Kim. She didn't find them wonderful. If anything, it made Kim feel like a liar, a fraud, a nobody. She used to be brave. Brave, today, was a thing of the past.

"Thanks," she muttered, trying to sound appreciative.

Tommy finally cast his eyes on Connor, the one he felt the most worry over. He gave him a no-nonsense look, the kind informing he better not say anything stupid.

"The leader of the team and current red Ranger is Connor McKnight." Tommy almost slipped out that he was also the _resident idiot_, but he thought better of it and bit his tongue. _I'm an adult, _he reminded himself, _not some silly teenager defending his girl. Kim isn't even my girl, after all. Not anymore..._

His train of thought came to a halt when Connor rose to his feet and opened up his arms. He stepped toward Kim, saying, "As a peace offering—"

"Don't touch me," hissed Kimberly, stepping back and wrapping her arms around herself. Connor stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide and confused, silently asking what he'd done wrong. Kimberly realized how harsh she sounded, slammed her eyes shut, and apologized, "I'm sorry. I'm uh...I'm really sorry. I-I didn't..."

"Kim, it's fine," Tommy whispered to her, putting a hand on her back and turning her away from his students. His better nature won out and made him momentarily forget about his students. "You all right?" he asked concernedly.

Shaking her head, still hugging her torso, she walked to the front door and let herself out, leaving a bewildered group of teens in their teacher's living room.

Tommy, well aware he still had to say something to his team, felt everything breaking down. This trip was to help her, to make her see good things still existed, and how she didn't need to live in mortal fear of every man in existence. It pained him knowing how one man altered her perception on each one. It wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry," said Connor from behind, the remorse present in his tone.

Facing the Rangers, Tommy shook his head, "Don't worry about it, guys. Um...Kim...she's been having a tough time lately, precisely why she's staying with me for a while. Um...just cut her some slack."

"I don't want to pry, but..." started Kira, obviously uncomfortable about getting involved in her teacher's life in such a manner. It was one thing to know him as their leader, but he definitely drew a line when it came to private matters.

"I'll explain more later, but for right now let's get back on our feet. Head down to the command center and you guys can catch me up on what I've missed. Hopefully Hayley will be here by then. That is unless you guys didn't include her in on this little ambush." He raised his eyebrows, amusement playing at his face.

Ethan piped up, "Don't worry, we called her. She told us she had to finish a few things up at Cyberspace, but she should be here any minute."

Nodding, Tommy dismissed them and told him he'd be down in a minute. First, he had to talk with Kim.

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Tommy didn't have to travel far; he found her standing on the edge of his porch, overlooking his woodsy property. Though, from behind, she appeared calm, he could still see the tensity in her shoulder blades and the clenched muscles of her back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, nearly inaudible. Had he lived in a city, a place filled with everyday noise, he never would have heard her.

God, who was this girl? Kimberly Hart used to speak so loudly people could hear her from across vast distances. Clarity used to be her middle name. She used to speak to people as opposed to away from them, meeting them eye for eye. Kimberly used to be a lot of things.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he told her, meaning it.

"I'm so-fucking-skittish. I can't even handle some kid trying to hug me as a greeting. I can't..." She broke off, knuckling her tears away, her back still facing Tommy. "Damn it, it was ten fucking years ago! _Ten_...years and I'm still—"she exhaled audibly, her breathing oddly constricted—"haunted by it. Everyone says you eventually get over it, that you move on and you learn to breathe again, but I...I can't. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."

Tommy felt helpless, something he'd never been before. Tommy Oliver isn't mean. Tommy Oliver isn't immature. Tommy Oliver isn't helpless. Well, until Kimberly Hart came into the picture. The realization struck him like a hit on the head - she turned his life upside down before and now she was doing it again. Oh, how different the circumstances were this time.

Sighing, Tommy ran a hand distractedly through his hair as he approached her from behind, making sure his steps were loud enough for her to hear. Placing his hands on the wooden porch railing, Tommy stared forward, gazing at the same sight. He loved the view. One of the reasons he found the property absolutely perfect for him.

"Something like that doesn't dissolve. It doesn't ever just go away and you don't need to think you're abnormal...or wrong for still reeling from it. Kim—" he faced her, placing a hand on her shoulder, compelling her to look at him—"I'm so proud of you. Think about all you've accomplished, Kimmie. Before this trip, you'd told one other person and now you've not only told another...but you're talking about it. This is all new for you. This is progress, Kim, and that you're moving on. This is just the next step, one of the biggest hurdles, in fact, and you're doing it beautifully. Please believe this."

Biting her lip, only her sheer willpower making her keep composure, Kimberly managed to look up and meet his eyes.

"Tell me what you feel?"

"I want to lie," she admitted, softly brushing her own tear away, "I want to say that it wasn't a big deal. I want to say I'm being a baby over it, that I'm...buying into it too much. These are the things I want to say and, more importantly, I want to feel."

Tommy waited, allowing her to move at her own pace.

Wiping another tear and letting out a deep sigh, she continued, "I can't do that, though. It was a big deal. I'm not...I don't think I am being a baby over it. I don't think I am buying into too much. I do, however, think I should have been saying this a long time ago."

He took initiative then, and a chance, by wrapping his strong arms around her, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. Holding her tightly against him, he listened to her release her anguish; her feelings.

"I want to go back. I want to go back to that night and just do everything differently. I want to go back and fight harder. I want to go back to that day when I chose to give up my power coin to Katherine. I want to take it back and stay with the team...with you."

"Aw man," he sighed, rubbing her back in soothing circles, his arms tightening convulsively.

"I don't want to be me anymore. I don't want to be that girl who...goes home to a dog and a TV dinner every night. I don't want to be that girl who nobody knows in her office. I don't want to be that girl anymore."

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes, tears still running down her flushed cheeks. Swallowing hard, Tommy lifted up a hand and brushed away some of her tears, trying to find the right words to say. Here Kimberly was, laying it all out for him, giving him what he wanted.

Licking his lips, tightening the muscles of his stomach, he told her, "Kimmie, you're on your way. Like I said, this is the next step. You'll get everything out, you'll learn to feel something over it, whether it's good or bad, and then you'll move on to the next one. Stop worrying about anything else other than getting yourself to the next step."

"What is the next step?" she asked, her eyes still boring into his.

"Forgiving yourself."

* * *

Hmm...Tommy obviously has some high hopes for Kim. Question is - _can _she forgive herself? Well, time will tell. I'm on a short break from school so I had time to finish up this chapter. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity to start on the next one so I can get an update out quickly for you. Don't hold your breath though - finals are about to ruin my life. Lucky me, eh? 

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Oh and thanks grits for pointing out the error - my friend's name is Kyra (pronounced the same way, too) so I spell it with a y. I, however, remembered the i in her name for this chapter :)


	11. Chapter 10: A Start

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**A Start**

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"_Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."_

_-Keri Russel_

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Forgiveness.

Kimberly found herself resenting Tommy for a moment, the briefest of moments, for speaking about it like it was such an easy task. Then more guilt pooled about her feet at the realization she was resenting the one guy foolish enough to try to help her. More guilt at calling him a fool...it just never got easier for Kim.

Tommy reentered the house shortly after their conversation, per her request to have a few minutes to herself. Being the person he was, he departed with stealth, giving her a small, reassuring smile.

"Get it together, Kimberly," she whispered, planting her face in her palms, her brown hair concealing her from any view. "You're a big girl, and you can do this. You can do this."

Surprisingly, no tears dripped from her eyes. Perhaps she finally felt the strength to stop those hated tears, or she figured, more likely, she'd simply cried herself out.

Scrubbing her arm across her eyes, removing the tear tracks from her earlier bout with tears, she turned toward Tommy's door and sighed heavily. _If I'm ever going to get better, I'm going to have to want to. I'm going to have to try. _This philosophy gave her the resolve to open the door and venture back into his house.

Kimberly took the opportunity of the empty house to take a look around, peering briefly into the rooms to check out the life of her only former boyfriend. His house surprised her in many ways and made her smirk in others. While it was clearly evident it was a bachelor pad, Tommy had a keen eye for making the home...well, homey. She wondered whether or not his mother helped him decorate. No, that wasn't his style. He must have done it, but asked for a lot of help at the counter when selecting paints and furniture pieces. Maybe a girlfriend helped him.

The thought of him dating made her scowl inwardly. She knew she had no right what so ever to feel the irritation she did. However, she held a possessiveness over him due to him being her only beau. Perhaps it would have lessened if she had dated more, held more feelings for someone other than Tommy. After she ended the relationship, the feelings didn't lessen with time; they grew and grew, the type of chaste feelings deepening into a strong love.

Shaking her head, slapping her cheek softly, she chided herself, "How do you plan on getting better if that's all you keep thinking about? He made it clear he is over you so stop it. And, furthermore, stop talking to yourself."

Her own last comment made her laugh as she continued on her exploration of Tommy's house. Aside from the fine taste, she noticed he was fairly neat, only a few things scattered about. Some clothes here and some papers there, but, more or less, he kept things relatively tidy. She figured it had something to do with his teaching job. He probably spent a great deal of time at his school.

Her attention was drawn to a side door that seemed to open into a wall. She heard talking and proceeded down the steps, figuring - correctly - Tommy and the team were down there. Their faint voices progressively became louder and more audible as she delved deeper into the bowels of the house.

"...I understand you're busy and everything, but—"

Connor cut off a hesitant Kira, exclaiming, "We're having so much trouble, Doctor O. I mean, Kira was in the middle of her performance, sounding great and all, when suddenly we were ambushed. It's gotten to the point where it's ruining our social lives."

"Social lives?" questioned Tommy.

"Not like that, sir, I mean..."

Connor stopped when he saw Kimberly enter the room, her head leaning back as she gazed up at the ceiling. Every Ranger stared at the girl as she took in her surroundings, unaware they stopped speaking because of her entrance.

When she finished looking at everything, she focused her gaze on the group, feeling unnerved all of the sudden.

"Oh," she began meekly, "am I not allowed in here? I can go back up—"

"Any and all Rangers are allowed down here," stated Tommy firmly. His own protégés peered up at him with wide eyes, obviously taken aback at the strength of his words, before turning back to the girl and nodding their own affirmations. Kimberly felt oddly touched and overwhelmed. It had been a long, long time since she felt like a Ranger. Not since she gave up her power coin to Katherine.

"We were just going over a few things, but you're more than welcome to listen in. Or just check out the place. I must say this command center is a bit more updated than the one we had."

"A bit?" repeated Kimberly with a grin.

Tommy couldn't resist smiling right back. He loved when she smiled, since she rarely did it anymore.

"What can I say? Times have brought upon quite a few changes," he replied, a teasing quality about his tone. Normally he never would have been this playful and mischievous in front of the young teens, but Kimberly somehow made him forget he was the adult. As private of a man as he was, Kim stopped his thoughts dead in their tracks.

"I think Zordon would be proud," she told him seriously, turning back to meet his eyes. Though she didn't say it and it went above the other Rangers' heads, he knew she meant about everything; about all he had accomplished with regards to keeping the Power Rangers a working entity.

Giving her a small nod, he turned back to the current, fairly confused, Rangers. Sighing, he asked, "What were you saying Connor? About your social lives?"

"Huh?" he asked, his eyes still zoned in on Kimberly, who was lingering in the back and staring at Hayley's equipment.

Kira elbowed him, making him jerk toward her and finally to Tommy, whose frown spoke volumes. Gulping, he continued, "I meant social lives as in...well, we immediately had to transform right in a hallway. I don't think anyone saw us, but it was a close call, Doctor O. We could have been spotted and then our identities would have been in jeopardy."

"I'm aware, Connor, but I've been through all of this before. You all need to start taking greater responsibility with your hidden identities. That's something I can't exactly help you with."

"Did you have Cassidy and Devin when you were our age, though? I mean they were right by the door and with that camera of theirs. If Kira hadn't distracted them for a moment then they would have spotted us there." Tommy smirked inwardly, happy to hear Connor acting like a leader again and not putting his foot in his mouth like he had with Kimberly.

"You're right, I didn't have to deal with Cassidy and Devin, but I, too, had to deal with people trying to uncover my identity each time I carried a color."

"Don't you think it's weird, though?" interjected Ethan, looking from Connor back to Tommy; "I mean...Mesagog hasn't done anything for over a month and now he suddenly hits the second you leave. You don't find it odd?"

"It's very odd, Ethan, and that's why I want Hayley to check a few things out for me the second she gets here—"

"Hayley is already here."

A redhead wearing all black entered the room in a hurry, a cup of coffee in each hand. Cantering over to Tommy, she handed one of the cups over and pulled him in a brief, friendly embrace.

"We had a big spill so I had to stay and help clean up. I rushed over the second I could. How is your friend doing?"

One of the reasons Tommy liked Hayley so much was her kindness, her need to help others. It didn't come as a surprise to him that she was eager to know about Billy's health and progress.

"He's doing better, but he is no where near done. He still has several surgeries to complete. I'm heading back there in a few days."

"Well it's good to hear he is at least making headway. So let me just set up and I...can..." she broke off, her eyes attested by Kimberly's presence. "Tommy?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Hayley, I'd like you to meet Kimberly Hart, original pink Ranger. Kim, I'd like you to meet Hayley Ziktor, our technical advisor."

The redheaded woman looked back and forth between Kimberly and Tommy, relief suddenly showing on her face. Walking in Kimberly's direction, she said, "Sorry, I should have recognized you. It's just so unusual for someone other than us to be down here, but since you're a fellow Ranger, it's not a problem."

Kimberly felt worried, not liking the woman's fast approach. It appeared she was going to try and hug her, something she definitely would not like. However, Hayley, instead, dropped her bag on "her" chair and held out her hand in a welcoming gesture. Kimberly hesitated for a moment before she shook her hand, grasping it timidly.

"It's great to meet you. I have met quite a few other Rangers, but only one other original."

"Jason?" Kimberly questioned.

Smiling, Hayley nodded; "yes, he's a nice guy. He speaks highly of all the Rangers he's worked with. But, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here? Visiting Tommy?"

Kimberly looked over her shoulder to see Tommy had gone back to discussing current problems with the Rangers, leaving her alone to speak with the woman. It wasn't in Kimberly's nature to walk away from someone as nice as Hayley seemed to be, but after ten years of isolation and little contact outside of work (and only then she spoke with maybe five people a day), her social skills were off.

Taking a deep breath, Kimberly said, "Tommy's kind of helping me out. Um...it's a long story, but he's graciously decided to um...yeah, help me out."

"Is something wrong?" asked Hayley, her brows quirked up in worry. Kimberly's heart clenched at this - it had been so long since she'd come in contact with someone as nice as Hayley. The woman didn't even know her and yet she conveyed emotions - worry, concern, care - that most only use for the ones they loved most. Kimberly used to be like that. Kimberly used to be a lot of things.

"Um...it's complicated, but um...yeah, I guess everything is okay. Sort of. Well, not really, but..."

Smiling, touching Kimberly's shoulder in a brief, comradely gesticulation, Hayley told her, "I'm sure if Tommy is helping you then the problem will be resolved in no time. Tommy has a way of making things work out."

"I've noticed," she returned, her eyes cast down. Hayley could sense more to her story yet she didn't want to pry, deciding it best to give the woman her space. Flashing her another comforting smile, Hayley began her focus on her own work, sitting into her chair and pulling up several scans for Tommy and the Rangers.

Kimberly suddenly felt in the way and began walking back toward the entrance of his house.

"Kim?"

"I'm just going to head upstairs. I don't want to get in the way."

"You're not in the way, Kimmie," Tommy told her, standing behind her, making sure to keep his distance.

Biting her lip, Kimberly nodded and continued on, leaving Tommy feeling worried and bemused.

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"So how about we grab a bite to eat in town?" he asked, his voice drawling in the quality of a tired man. After all, he'd spent the day with four teenagers bickering over how to approach a problem plaguing the team, while defying physics. The man had to feel drained.

Lifting her gaze up from her book - she'd been reading since she'd gone back into the house and decided to wait for him back in his living room - she managed to give him a small smile in comfort, already feeling guilty over the worry she caused him. He had a life, had a job, had a side job more grueling than his paying one, and, not to mention, personal worries which had no affiliation with Kimberly and her messy life.

"Sure. Um, where exactly would you want to go?"

"It's a small place, I promise. Not a lot of people and it's in a great neighborhood. You have nothing to worry about. Plus, I'll be there."

She didn't want to admit it, but his presence provided a greater relief than she could ever describe. The whole feeling safe thing was new yet wholesomely welcomed.

"Okay," she agreed; "do I need to dress up? Or can I go like this?"

"What you're wearing is fine. I have a feeling this place wouldn't mind you whether or not you showed up in jeans or a ballgown."

He held out his hand, taking her small one in his own, and bringing her to her feet. She withdrew quickly, just as he did (he was learning how to handle her, after all), and he followed her as she walked to the door.

"Where is everyone else? They're not coming?" she asked curiously.

"Nah, they can't make it tonight. Hayley has way too much stuff to do down at her café and the other four need to go home to do their homework. Tomorrow is a school day."

The last thought couldn't help bring a smile to Kimberly's face. She remembered being their age and doing the exact same thing. She'd wake up in the morning, put on her face, grab her book-bag and venture off to Angel Grove High. The day would progress as any typical high school day would; with her taking notes in class, ignoring the idiotic yet astoundingly loveable goons Bulk and Skull, eating lunch with her favorite people in the world, sharing a modest kiss with her boyfriend; before some sort of chaos would ensue. Generally the madness conveniently waited to start until after school was out, disrupting their other activities. Kimberly remembered being in the middle of extravagant gymnastics routines and hearing the familiar tune - _beep, beep, ba ba, beep, beep -_ forcing her to leave for another commitment. Then, after she and her fellow teammates stopped whatever onslaught of evil Rita or Zedd produced, she would head home and rest her body to repeat the same thing the following day.

Often times she questioned whether or not what they were doing was right. Not in the conventional sense - morally she knew it was right - but more along the lines whether it was right for her. She could have been doing so much more for herself rather than defending the world. Whenever these thoughts clouded her mind she'd tell herself 'it's worth it' about a zillion times. Even now, over ten years later, the same thought whizzed through her over-analyzing mind.

Now these kids, these new Rangers, were doing the same thing. She hoped they'd have better luck than she did.

Tommy, the gentleman, opened her door and helped her into his jeep, closing it securely once she situated herself. After he climbed in, he gave her a dashing grin before he set off at a relatively slow pace and eased them into town.

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"I told you that your jeans would suit this place just fine," he quipped, gallantly opening the door into the small, hole in the wall burger joint. Kimberly laughed as she walked in, stopping abruptly when she took in the surroundings. The place felt oddly reminiscent of the Youth Center.

"Wow, this is just...like..."

"Ernie's, yeah," noted Tommy, placing his hand on her lower back. She looked up at him then, trying to gauge his motives or emotions over what he was doing, but then realized his eyes were far away. It was a routine movement, one he probably did with every girl he took to this place. That unfamiliar feeling she hadn't felt since she was sixteen, sixteen and had been with Tommy, flooded her again.

Jealousy.

A feeling which, inevitably, led to another bout with guilt.

"Let's sit over here. It's a nice table away from the window so we won't be disturbed," he suggested, removing his hand and placing it behind his own back.

Together they sat down in the booth, him at one side and her the other, similar to the typical way teenagers sat on their first dates. He could tell she felt awkward, how contrived and situated it felt, but he did his best not to speak first - he wanted her to come to him.

"So what's good here?" she asked, peeking up from her menu to stare at him.

"All the burgers are great," he told her, smiling sweetly, "and I like cheesy onion rings. It's supposed to be a side dish, but they give you so much that it's a meal in itself."

Chuckling, she looked back down. About fifteen different types of burgers were available for her choosing. She normally enjoyed a juicy burger, but the second he said onion rings, all she could do was think about getting her hands on the greasy crispiness.

"I know what I want," she said with glee, rubbing her hands together. Tommy thought she looked like a five-year-old child eager to have an snow cone.

A young waitress came over to take their orders which suddenly caused Tommy to do a double take.

"Lily?"

"Doctor Oliver?"

Kimberly watched as the girl, who wore a white apron and had her blonde hair pulled into a loose ponytail, anxiously looked between her and Tommy, him appearing equally as astounded, if not more uneasy.

"Lily, I didn't know you worked here," he muttered lamely, fiddling with his napkin. Normally he acted much more aloof toward the awkwardness and even friendly whenever he saw his students outside of class. This time was different seeing as Kimberly was present, someone he hadn't planned on introducing to any of his students, save the Rangers.

"I just started working here," she told him, casting a glance in Kim's direction; "I didn't think you were married, sir."

"I'm not," Tommy declared quickly. "Just because I'm out with a woman does not mean I'm married. I thought they taught you that by the time you reached high school."

Laughing, Lily poured them both some water, eyeing Kimberly up and down again, making her feel uncomfortable.

Tommy continued, "This is a friend of mine from high school. She knew me before I taught kids like you. How fortunate, huh?"

"Whatever I need to say to get an A in your class, I will," she offered, pulling out a notepad and pen. "Can I get you two anything to drink? Any particular type of alcohol you like Doctor Oliver?"

"I'm driving, Miss Smarty-Pants. If you put as much effort into your schoolwork as you do your sarcasm, you would have that A, you know."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

"I'll just have an iced tea. Kim?"

"The same, thanks," mumbled Kimberly in a small voice. She felt as though she was intruding on a moment between them, something personal from his life that he inadvertently introduced her to - not on his own free will, but due to poor timing. She didn't want to meddle in his affairs.

The girl bowed out, off to retrieve their orders, leaving the two of them alone again. Tommy immediately apologized, "I'm sorry about that. I forget sometimes that my students have lives outside of my classroom. Funny, seeing as we used to think the same thing about our teachers."

Feeling the tension lift, Kimberly agreed, "Very true. I thought you teachers live at school?"

"Only on Tuesdays," he quipped, setting his elbows on the table, his hand brushing over the light stubble of his five O'clock shadow. "Lily, though, she...she is a good kid. Reminds me a lot of Aisha, though less dedicated to her studies. If only she would try a bit more then she'd get those grades. I'm pushing her as best I can."

"You seem to push quite a few people, yeah?"

"Only when I care," he told her seriously, making her bite her lip at the look he gave her. Lily interrupted them precisely then, placing both their drinks on the hard surface of the table.

"There you go, sir. Ma'am." Again, she slyly checked out Kimberly, obviously intrigued by the girl out with the best looking teacher in her school, or hell, the best looking teacher most students had ever laid eyes on. And with his glasses off...her eyes practically rolled to the back of her head.

After politely taking their orders, she turned around, stopping short, before turning back once more.

"Doctor Oliver?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"I thought you took leave from school to stay with a friend. Weren't you supposed to be with your friend at the hospital?" she asked, wringing her hands, fearing she'd stepped over the line by asking.

Letting out a heavy exhalation, realizing he did, indeed, need to acknowledge his students (not just her), told her, "My friend is still in the hospital, yes. I'm just taking a few days back here to get some things in order, regarding mostly my students (not a lie!), and then I'm heading back with my friend Kim, here. You may see me at school for a bit, but I'm not going to be teaching for a while."

"Oh, I see. Well, we miss you, sir. The sub sucks!"

Wagging a finger at her, he chastised, "Don't talk about subs that way. She is probably doing her best."

Shaking her head, she mumbled, "_He_ is a nightmare, Doctor Oliver."

As she walked away, Tommy turned back to Kimberly, pleased to see a smile on her face. Her smile used to light up a room, and it still did.

"I miss your smile." He'd been thinking about it, why not tell her?

"I smile," she defended herself, frowning in spite of her words. "I smile all the time."

"Not lately."

Looking toward the window, staring at the streets littered with lights and happily strolling couples, Kim whispered, "Is there a point to you bringing this up?"

Initially, Tommy planned on this being a dinner, an easy dinner, one of jokes, banter, and the typical conversations friends often indulged in when trying to ignore the terrible parts of life. He wanted her to feel comfortable with him, to feel their connection again, one extending beyond what they had as kids. As a victim, she never lived her life, but as this girl, this beautiful girl reemerging from the darkness, a void in her life, she could find some peace and tranquility. Tommy hoped, prayed even, for that to begin, even in the small confines of an old fashioned diner.

Yet each time he opened his mouth, he seemed to alienate her. _Of course,_ he thought_, everything is bound to. She may be trying to get better, but that doesn't mean any of it will ever come easily. _

"Kim, I want to apologize to you."

At this her head shot up, her eyes, too dark against the pale skin of her face, stared at his in disbelief and confusion.

"I don't understand."

"I want to apologize to you for the last ten years. I—"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Tommy, I didn't tell you anything. I should have, I know that now, but I didn't. I was too scared and too stupid to know—"

"Stop it," he growled, sounding annoyed (and he was); "I don't want to hear you putting yourself down like that. You'll never get better if you keep up with this sort of attitude, all right?"

Nodding dumbly, she peered back at the window, her eyes burning from the shame of him scolding her. She felt like a child all over again.

"I was just...you have no reason to apologize. You didn't know anything."

"And that justifies it?" he asked, mentally slapping himself for being so idiotic for a decade. "I know you better, I know your heart, and I should have known then. Too blinded by my bitterness and broken heart, I didn't think, not even once, that you could possibly feel as much pain as I did. I was selfish."

"You were seventeen," she reasoned, those weak, hated tears threatening to overwhelm her.

"I may not have the best memory, but I do remember knowing you better than anyone else at seventeen. I shouldn't have judged you then and I sure as hell shouldn't have judged you now. I'm still trying to steel myself for the karma about to hit me for that, but I shouldn't have judged you now based on your actions as a teenager; no matter the situation. I'm an adult, and, more than that, I'm a teacher which, in turn, makes me nothing more than a hypocrite. I reprimand students for doing precisely what I did. I should have known better, Kim."

Years of blaming herself for virtually everything left Kimberly feeling unnerved, perturbed even, hearing Tommy apologize for some wrong doing. Occasionally her boss would apologize for forgetting to send her a birthday message or Snapper would whimper an apology for pushing her off the bed (she'd been sleeping next to the pup, who was no longer a pup, for years. Having grown from ten pounds into a solid fifty pounds often times had her on her knees in the wee hours of the morning), but rarely did someone apologize to her. Many a times she deserved it, oh yes, but her personality made it easy for others to walk all over her. Apologies weren't necessary for Kimberly.

She didn't get the chance to respond for Lily returned baring their plates, the sizzling of onions sounding louder than Kimberly thought possible. Lily looked apprehensive, her friendly smile dwindling upon reaching their table, the tension near-palpable, taking on a life of its own, enough to cut with a knife.

"Sir?"

"Thank you, Lily," he responded curtly.

"Thank you," Kimberly whispered, keeping her face directed at the window, not wanting the child to see her tears.

Lily hastily left, leaving Tommy and Kimberly alone with their dinners. Knuckling her tears away, she sucked in a few ragged breaths before feeling composed enough to face him. His mein looked criminatory, remorseful, but he made no pass, instead waiting on her to speak first.

She didn't.

She began eating dinner, silently telling him they'd discuss the conversation later. Tommy certainly planned on discussing it later - he was done letting her run away.

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"Come on," he urged, taking her hand and pulling her with little resistance into an quaint open field. There stood a park in the distance, but mostly the space involved swaying trees and mounds of grass, the breeze blowing through the brush in an easy, comforting gust.

To Tommy's astonishment and pleasure, Kimberly laughed as they ran across the grass, giggling madly when she fell into a heap on the soft ground. Unable to help himself, he threw himself down beside her, the two laughing merrily like they had when they were kids, before the chaos of their lives took them elsewhere.

"It's nice out here. I forgot how great California weather is," she commented, closing her eyes, letting the wind graze her face.

"Yeah," he agreed, "I don't think I could live elsewhere because of it. Come to California if only for our weather."

He felt childish, like a young kid with a crush all over again, at the sound of her laugh. Perhaps it was because she rarely laughed anymore and it was nice to finally hear a positive reaction from her; or perhaps he felt it was a step in the right direction for her.

Or perhaps because he was still in love with her.

He never stopped loving her.

"I like the snow and all, but it's nice only having two seasons. Fall and spring year round is great."

The gulf between them, the giant elephant in the room, followed them back from the restaurant, choosing to situate between them again. Even in the open air, something trapped her.

"You wonder how I kept it to myself, don't you?" He didn't answer, opting instead to wait for her on her own time, keeping his eyes on her. "If I'm being honest then I'd say it wasn't easy. There were times when I wanted to shout it out. I came close, too, the day after it happened, but then I saw him and...he..."

Breaking off, swallowing hard, she took a moment to compose herself. After a few deep breaths, she continued, "He made it clear that it wouldn't matter so I vowed to myself then to keep quiet. I mean I'm not an idiot and I know what he did was wrong, it's wrong for anyone to do it to anyone else, but I...telling you all was out of the question."

"Why?" he asked softly.

Sniffing, dashing at those damn tears again (_Stop crying! _she chided herself,_ you're weak, you're weak, you're weak!)_, she admitted, "I left, Tommy. I left because I knew I had the opportunity of a lifetime in my hands and then to admit to everyone that I blew it would have been worse than failing. At least if I failed it meant that I gave it my all, that I tried and just couldn't succeed, not because I screwed myself over; but because there were other girls better than me. Getting those looks, the ones that I know are really just slams, like how in the fuck could you let this happen, weren't worth it. I stand by what I did."

"Looks?" he whispered in aghast, "How could you even think that? How could you ever believe the Rangers or your family or me, especially me, would have ever looked at you in _that _way? God, Kim, it wasn't your fault. Kimmie, you–"

When one's fear becomes their shadow, it's very hard to find them alone and in Kimberly's case, her shadow followed her into the darkness. Even in her dreams she hated herself, hated her stupidity for having gotten herself in the situation. Blame began and ended with herself, and woe and betide anything from stopping Tommy from breaking through the barrier. He'd find a way to help her, somehow, he knew.

"I'm going to try and believe you. I want to, God help me, I do, but...all I can say right now is that I'll try."

"Good," he muttered.

"Can we just not talk about it for a little bit?" she asked quickly; "cause I um...you know, I get it. I get I need to start, but let's try talking about other things, yeah?"

"Kim, we'll talk about whatever the hell you want. You want to talk about, uh, I don't know, what cook book you like best then we'll talk about that!" The dimples on Kimberly's face encouraged Tommy to continued, "I'll do anything you want me to do. I'm here for you."

"Then let's do something normal!" she yelled, laughing as she fell back onto the grass, flinging out her arms. "Let's go watch a damn baseball game. Or let's go see a movie. I told you I'm ready to live and I don't think it purely pertains to talking about my feelings. Perhaps I should question your—"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, Kim," he warned, throwing her a half-smile.

Sitting back up, they stared at one another for a long while, the tension gone, a surge of giddiness surrounding them.

This was a change.

This was a start.

* * *

Okay, it's a start! I told you this story isn't going to happen - _bam, bam, thank you, ma'am!_ - it's going to take some time. However, the next chapter should be fun! F-U-N - Something different for this particular story :)

Finals ruined my life, but only until I got the results - _I did great_ - so I should have enjoyed my break. However, someone must hate me because I was sick the entire time. THE ENTIRE TIME! How unfair is that?! School starts back up in about a week and I'm still sick. It's not fair, but that was honestly the cause for delay. This chapter has been written for so long, but I just didn't have the strength to finish it and post it. I'm very sorry about that. Hope my readers continue to stick with me! Oh and I actually created a profile - hopefully my sarcasm isn't completely evil, but now people actually have a chance to get to know me.

Tootles!


	12. Chapter 11: Addiction

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**Addiction**

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"_Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?"_

_-Michellee Chuck Palahniuk_

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"Do you really think people buy this whole thing?"

Tommy turned around, staring from her lit up face to the DVD box in her hand. She continued, "I mean, I'm sorry, but I don't agree with this saving the world in the period of what? Two weeks? And what's more, Ben Affleck is your leading man!"

"I thought you chicks liked Ben Affleck. Isn't he one of those Hollywood hot guys?" asked Tommy with a smirk.

"Only if you're blind," she quipped, returning _Armageddon_ to the shelf. She continued to scan, peering at the various titles, grinning when she spotted one she hadn't seen in years. "Oh my goodness, Tommy, check this out."

Leaning back, nearly pressing his chin on her shoulder while she moved the box forward to allow him to see, he read the title _Better Off Dead_, a classic John Cusack film. Smiling, he said, "I haven't watched that since high school."

"I think it was underrated. The film is hilarious, typical high school satire, and yet so many didn't give a damn about the movie. Critics panned it. Yet, all those other eighties flicks like Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink were adored. Not fair!"

"Well then," he said, taking the opportunity to grab the box from her, "it's a keeper."

Throwing him a smile, she nodded, continuing down on their venture to find the ideal movies for a marathon, one which included a couch, some popcorn, and the phone off the base. Tommy thought it would be a great way to get her to relax, to comfort her, to help her realize that it's okay to loosen up with more than just her dog.

"I think five is enough," she noted, staring pensively from the DVDs in her hand to the ones in his. Staring up at him, she asked, "You agree?"

"I think it'll be plenty to go along with a whole mess of pizza. I feel like we're going to need help getting our asses off the couch after this."

"Tommy, the day you need help getting off of a couch is the day I become Oprah," she quipped, slapping his shoulder playfully. He blushed, always the humble man, before walking with her to pay for the movies. A young kid, no more than seventeen, working at the counter eyed them up and down, his eyes running appreciatively over Kim's petite frame. Kimberly remained oblivious, continuing to read the back of the DVD box as they finished everything up. Obviously back in the day, Tommy grew used to guys checking Kim out wherever they went, no matter what she wore. Even in sweat pants she had guys wanting her. However, after the "incident", she lost her spark, losing the confidence and vivacious nature which always made her so breathtakingly beautiful. Now, however, Tommy couldn't help noticing how different Kimberly looked. Perhaps having the weight of the world off her shoulders from hiding her secret was allowing her beauty, the glimmer that made her so striking, to return home.

"Tommy?"

Her lilting voice snapped him from his thoughts and he shook his head, trying to focus.

"I'm sorry, Kim, what?" he asked.

Slightly perplexed, she repeated, "Are you ready to go? You've got the look of a sleepwalker on you."

"Yeah, I'm ready. Sorry, sometimes I go into my zombie mode."

_Or perhaps you've once again led me into a trance_, he thought, before following her out to his jeep.

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Setting up the first movie, an old favorite of theirs called _The Karate Kid_, Kimberly and Tommy lounged themselves out on his couch, shoes off and warm sweats on. Tommy went so far as to unplug his phone to ensure completely privacy and a calming atmosphere. He did not want to worry about some blasted call forcing him to get up from his position next to her. Having her so close, feeling her presence next to him, comforted him more than she could possibly know.

The familiar opening music made them both break out in applause, Tommy even 'whooping' once 'The Karate Kid' flashed across the screen. Kimberly snuggled her legs up, pulling them beneath her torso and wrapping her arms around a thick pillow, like she used to when they were teenagers. Tommy planted his feet on the coffee table in front of them, his hands and stomach holding the large bowl of popcorn.

Back in the day he would have wrapped an arm around her, but not anymore. Kim wasn't accustom to people touching her, least of all a male; especially not the man who broke her heart just a week prior. Even though she claimed to have forgiven him for his outburst, even going so far as to apologize for not telling him sooner, again blaming herself, he felt the guilt through every inch of him. He'd make it up to her somehow.

He HAD to.

"Does this movie ever bother you?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Why would it?" he asked, his eyes on her, watching her as she watched the film.

Sighing, she told him, "Well, I'd think the movie would bother you. I hate watching movies about gymnastics considering they're usually created by some second rate gymnasts who'd rather act than compete. The writing usually makes us all seem like complete idiots when most of the girls I competed with were smarter than most people we went to school with. On top of that, it's clear most of the routines were not created by real choreographers! It drives me nuts!"

Tommy chuckled, nodding his head, understanding her point.

"Come on, some of these karate movies have got to get under your skin."

Turning his head to the side, leaning back with a smirk, he said, "I don't know. This movie didn't really bother me. I could buy it, for the most part. Not all the competing was done correctly and certainly a lot of those kids were actors as opposed to real martial artists, but...it's not _so_ bad."

"But the sequels?" she asked.

"Don't even get me started on those!" he yelled, tossing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it mid-fall.

Grinning, Kimberly dug her hand into the bowl and took out a few pieces, popping them in one after the other.

A comfortable silence reigned.

No, the elephant between them must have trampled off to annoy another batch of complicated lives, leaving them feeling relaxed. Kimberly felt better than she had in years, both mentally and physically. At night she could sleep more, with the knowledge that for a while she wasn't alone. Well, actually, she wished she had Snapper too. She missed the big ol' mut. She laughed more, cried less (at least, at night - for the last several years she had to cry herself to sleep in order to get any shut eye), and even ate better. Maybe a trip to see her old friends, one in particular, was just what she needed.

"Did you ever think about me?" she suddenly asked, cutting through the audio of the film. _What a question? _he thought, actually thinking about how to respond. _Honesty has been better this time around so let's try that._

"Yes," he told her, "A lot. When you first left you were all I thought about. Then, after the letter, I still thought of you."

"And now?"

"I'll level with you and say I didn't regularly think about you. I mean it had been so long and I figured...I knew you'd moved on."

Even in his head it sounded stupid but after hearing it - he_ knew_ it was stupid. And lame. And not what she needed to hear. _No wonder her self-esteem is lower than the floor. She has idiots like me telling her precisely what she doesn't need to hear. I should have kept my big mouth shut._

"Why do you ask?"

Quirking her head wistfully, she answered, "I just needed to know. I'm glad you didn't think about me. I'm really glad actually."

Furrowing his brow, he asked, "Why?"

Shrugging, "After I sent the stupid letter I thought you'd wallow. It's in your nature to fret over the people you care about, even if they wronged you. I guess I didn't like the thought of you in pain. I still don't."

_Even now, even after everything that bastard did to her, she is still so loving and genuine and wonderful. Even with every right to hate the world and hate me, she is still benevolent. Unreal._

He opened up his mouth to comment on it, but she cut him off; "oh! This is my favorite part! Who doesn't love watching the kid get told off by Mister Miyagi?"

Her lilting laughter filled the void of the room, secretly beckoning him to join in on the fun, yet he found himself dissolving from her words. Someone so wholesome and caring deserved something better than the life she had. She deserved anything better than what she had! Tommy promised her, and himself, he'd find a way to save her. Whether it be the last thing he ever did, he would find a way to save her.

Save her from herself.

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"Do you ever think of handing over the job as a Ranger?"

"All the time."

"Really?" she asked suspiciously.

"What?" he asked, throwing up his hand, feigning hurt; "you don't think I'm capable of giving it up?"

"I don't think you could rest without knowing the world was safe. I don't think you believe anyone can do it with as much passion as you can."

"You wound me. I believe in all Rangers. I haven't always held this position and I know there are plenty of people capable of doing what I do."

"Just not right now?"

"What do you mean?"

She leaned her head back on the couch, lifting up her leg to pull on her loose sock. "I think the four kids right now are highly capable. They seem intelligent, gracious, and everything we were when we were their age. Don't you think Connor, the so called leader, is capable of doing what you do?"

Snorting, he replied, "Connor is a sweet kid. Really, I love the guy, but his maturity level is that of a gnat. I think he has the potential to do great things, both as a Ranger and in his life in general; the kid is an amazing athlete. But this? I don't think he is ready for it."

"What about Kira? The girl is charming and it's obvious she knows how to keep her boys in check."

"You're right," he agreed, "the girl is brilliant, but not the leading type. She is what I call a submissive fighter. She likes to work as a team and likes to be told what to do, who to fight, and when to do it. I think it has something to do with always playing second field to people growing up. Whether it was in school or music, she had someone standing in her way."

"Why not push her?" asked Kimberly. Not accusingly, as it could have been taken, but curiously.

"I've tried. I've pushed in her all sorts of ways, but the girl lacks some confidence. Besides, she is more of a mother hen than a full blown leader."

"Okay, I won't even ask about Ethan, since is he clearly the Billy of the group. Brains like a computer?"

Nodding his affirmation, Kimberly concluded, "Then all that leaves is Trent and I dare you to tell me why he can't lead. The boy has a sort of James Dean quality, albeit a more rebel _with_ a cause."

"That doesn't even make sense," he noted, lips turned upward.

Pulling a face, she threw up a reproachful finger. "It made perfect sense to anyone intelligent enough to understand it, Mister PhD."

Tommy laughed, a jovial laugh that shook his body. She turned her comely smile toward him before leaning her head back, allowing her pretty hair to fall on the soft fabric of the couch. Without the ability to stop, he stared - gazed, is more like it - at her with the intensity of a drowning man spotting an oasis. If she kept one thing over the years, it was her good-natured humor.

"What?" she finally piped up, keeping her eyes focused on the movie.

"You just...you're still the same, you know?"

"How so?" she asked, her mein suddenly serious.

Giving her a small smile, he replied, "Your humor. Your laugh. All the little idiosyncracies about you are the same."

"Is that a good thing?" she teased, her expression softening.

"Definitely a good thing."

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

KNOCK!

Kimberly jumped, so far back she nearly fell of the couch. Tommy reached for her, grabbing her arm in an attempt to steady her.

"You all right?"

Pressing a hand to her heart, she nodded her affirmation. "I'm okay. It just startled me. Were you planning on someone coming over?"

"No. Sorry bout that. Let me go answer it."

As Tommy walked to the door, he couldn't help feeling light on his feet. _She didn't flinch when I touched her. She didn't push my hand away the second she calmed down. This is progress. She's getting better._

Opening the door, he came face to face with a colleague's face he didn't expect.

"Larry, what are you doing here?" he asked, standing in the doorway, shielding Kimberly from any prying eyes. His friend certainly had his back, helping the substitute he left in order to keep his class going in the proper direction, but he didn't think Kimberly was ready to meet someone from his life, outside the Ranger circle, just yet.

His friend, giving him a probing scan, replied, "I came over to slide a bunch of papers in your box, hoping you would check them out as soon as you got back. I didn't expect to see your jeep in the driveway."

Shrugging, Tommy told him honestly, "I came back a little early to help out another friend. She's staying with me here for a few days and then we're heading back to take care of Billy."

"I see. Well, um, would you mind doing me and your sub a favor?"

"What's going on?"

"She's having a rough time right now. Randall went all 'Randall crazy' on us and said we needed to have an entire outline for the open house at the end of the year. She wants it prepared and finished by Friday."

"Open house? That's months away. This doesn't even make sense."

"I know, but she is adamant that we get all this shit done. If you're back for a few days, do you think you can drop by the school and help the woman out?"

Nodding, he agreed, "Yeah, I think I could do that. I'll stop by around break and then talk to my following class. It's honors science."

"Sounds good," said Larry, shifting to the side, hearing the movie blaring in the background. "So, what's with the friend?"

"Huh?"

"You said you came here to help out another friend. What's going on?" he questioned inquiringly. If there was one thing Tommy didn't do, it was tell other people's secrets.

"I'm not going into details, Larry. Can I have the papers?"

Realizing he'd hit a sore spot, the man handed over the bag without question, giving Tommy a hesitant half-smile.

"Sorry, man," he apologized.

"Don't worry about it. Look, I'll check these out tonight and I'll meet you tomorrow."

Once the door closed, Tommy was alone with Kimberly again, something he enjoyed immensely. Memories of her sitting with a book in her lap in his childhood living room fluttered through his mind, making him yearn for the days of innocence, the sheltered confines where no terrible force could hurt either of them.

"Who was that?" asked Kimberly, digging her hand in the bowl of popcorn, absently bringing a piece to her supple lips. Suddenly catching herself at what she said, she turned to him, muttering, "Unless it's a private matter and then you don't have to tell me anything."

Sighing, he told her, "Kim, you need to stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"You really don't do stupid well. You know what I'm talking about."

Looking away from him, giving a tiny smile, Kimberly turned her dark eyes back toward the movie. "Well, then, who was it?"

Settling back down next to her, snaking his hand over to grab a few pieces, he answered, "Some guy I work with at the school. Larry, he's a cool one. Most of the kids and faculty really like him."

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"You don't do stupid well, either," she quipped, keeping her head forward toward the television while her eyes wandered in his direction.

Smirking, he replied, "I think the kids like me."

"Isn't that peachy," she teased, snorting to herself, "but I already gathered that based on the girl from the restaurant. What about your coworkers? How do they feel about the long-haired geek from Angel Grove?"

"_Former_ long-haired _guy,_ and they love me. I was never a geek," he retorted with a slight snip in his tone; though entirely too playful for her to take it seriously.

Letting out a bark of laughter, she taunted, "Tommy, you used to send me letters when there was a nice little phone in the kitchen for you to use. I know it wasn't the age of the iPhone, but come on. You could have easily done something other than the silly old letters."

"So says the girl who..."

The look on her face just about broke his heart. Sometimes he felt like Connor; his mind was ten steps behind his mouth. Licking her lips, staring down at the bowl in her lap, she did precisely what Tommy tried to prevent and brought herself down further, "I guess you're not the only one who writes letters. I can't really mock you then."

"Kimmie, sometimes I don't think."

"Clearly."

His head jerked so quickly he thought he might soon suffer whiplash, but his mind only could think one thing.

"You're...making light of this?"

Shrugging, she answered, "What else can I do? I need to get better and I guess taking an active approach will help. Right?"

He couldn't resist; leaning in, he gave her a comforting kiss on the forehead, pulling her close to him in a friendly hug, hoping to God she didn't pull away from him. When she didn't (though he felt her tense, just for a second), he told her, "I'm really proud of you. I guess your skills are sharp enough to ignore my slow brain sometimes?"

"It's not your brain, but your tongue, you idiot."

Maybe Kimberly wouldn't have an addiction for her own pain forever.

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"So would you mind coming with me to school tomorrow?" he asked her as he switched movies, peering over his shoulder to gauge her reaction. Lately he found himself always watching her face, in fear of her lying to him. While the lies came out naturally, she couldn't mask her expressions. Tommy could see right through, few years of teaching mischievous teenage students honing his skills.

The attractive lips he found his mouth watering over raised in a somewhat roguish grin, her eyes sparkling charmingly. He couldn't resist the urge to smile back at her.

"Sure. Why? What's going on at your school tomorrow?"

Turning back to the DVD player to give it his full attention (instead of aimlessly pushing buttons while he stared at her), he told her, "Larry told me that some problems are kind of plaguing the school right now and by problems I mean one person being completely crazy."

"You sound exasperated," she noted.

"I am. This woman, Randall, manages to drive me up a wall each time I see her. She rubs me the wrong way."

"What do you mean?"

"She's an odd woman, and I just get this feeling in my gut My instincts tell me not to trust her."

"They've never failed you before."

_That's debatable,_ he thought.

Once he finally got the ruddy thing working, he stood up and gave himself a pat on the back, proud of his handiwork. Kimberly giggled as he did a slight jig all the way to his seat, making a complete fool of himself. It all felt so comfortable, routine, and something he wouldn't mind becoming more permanent.

Tommy figured they would only spend about two more days there before they went back to visit Billy. The guy needed both of them, along with all their other friends; and while he couldn't deny he'd rather stay longer, they needed to get back. He truly wanted to keep her all to himself for a while and the thought scared him. What about when she left home for New Jersey? Oh God, he didn't want to think about her heading back, returning to the recluse life of a woman without a soul. The thought of her living a life of constant fear and sadness nearly made him physically ill - just from the thought!

Maybe with some help from Jason he could convince her to stay for a while. She always had a place to stay at his house, no questions asked, but it came down to her - would she willingly start her life over? After ten years of hating herself, of thinking he hated her, of thinking the entire group hated her (and to some degree, her thoughts were true), could she let her defenses down enough to start over?

"Are you going to watch the movie or spend the entire time staring at me?" she asked coyly.

Smiling, he turned his eyes back on the television, though his heart protested, begging him to keep them locked on the girl beside him.

"So, if this Randall chick is such a pain, why don't you do anything about it?" she asked casually, popping another piece of popcorn between her lips. Those luscious lips...

After a moment of hesitation, he answered, "Y-yeah, I've thought about it. I don't know, it's easier said than done. She is my boss after all."

"Is she married? Maybe she likes you?" The smirk following the comment made him laugh.

"Are you teasing me?"

"Yep. I love it when you blush. Your embarrassment is my pleasure!"

"Always has been, eh?"

"You know me," she jested, lifting her hand to her chest, a mock-sign of modesty, "I tend to derive energy from your humiliation. It's just the way life is, so you might as well come to terms."

"I s'pose so, but answer me this," he said, in a soft voice, "if my humiliation means so much to you, why are you...leaving?"

"What?"

Gnawing on his tongue for a moment, he huffed a quick laugh, "I didn't plan on blurting it out quite like that."

"I suggest you best continue," she replied, her tone curt; guarded.

"Kimmie, I just...I've been thinking about it for a while—"

"We've been here for a total of what? Two days?" Again, her voice sounded wary, as though she questioned his motives. Hearing that in her voice pained him.

Running a hand through his short hair, an anxious gesture he retained from his adolescence, he told her, "I'm trying to be honest with you."

"Then spit it out."

"Don't get defensive, Kim, I'm just saying...I'm saying that I think you would benefit from staying here."

"Staying here?"

"Yeah, staying here. I'm not saying with me–" he added quickly, noticing the scared twinkle in her eyes—"but I'm saying here in California. Maybe Reefside or, um, up in Napa with Jason. I think it would be good for you."

"Good for me?" she questioned, finally turning her gaze to the other side of the room, allowing him to breathe a little easier. Something about being under her scrutiny set his heart on fire. He felt like he was betraying by telling her this - and he also had the feeling she thought the very same thing.

"Kimberly, you've changed. You're not the girl who lets things just slide by anymore or ignores hurtful words. You get down and I don't want to see..." He rallied for himself to speak, to get the words out to her, but he found it difficult to convey all he felt. He didn't want to see her continue to wallow in her misery when she didn't deserve any of it. He didn't want to see her return to a recluse life involving nothing more than an alarm clock in the morning and a pillow to cry on at night. She deserved better, worlds better than the hand she'd been dealt, and he didn't want her to waste her life mourning over what could have been.

That girl.

That girl feared her own shadow, felt disgust when a male so much as looked at her, hated her own reflection because she thought _that _girl hurt him.

Funny, huh?

Tommy lived a life defying physics, playing superhero while balancing teaching a bunch of teenagers. He went to college, got his degree, got his masters, got his PhD, got to do everything he ever wanted to do, to complete, and here was someone who lost everything in complete innocence.

She did nothing wrong, nothing to deserve it, and that, Tommy realized with such acute grief it felt agonizing, hurt him the most.

Addiction.

She became addicted to her own sorrow because she learned the loyalty of sorrow - it was the one thing that would never disappoint her.

Unfair.

Unreal.

Unbelievable.

"You said it yourself, Kim, when you said you don't want to be that girl anymore. What's going to happen when you leave? What's going to happen when you make it back to New Jersey? Are you going to continue on this road to recovery or are you going to revert back to your old ways?"

"You're acting as though this easy. Tommy, I cannot just change over night and I resent the fact that you're pushing so much on me at once!" she yelled, surprising herself with the rush of anger flooding her.

"I'm not saying that at all, Kim. I'm saying this progress must continue—"

"And I'm working on it," she hissed, rising to her feet, walking away from him. Tommy jumped up then, intending on stopping her, but she whirled around, halting him immediately. "I thought today was suppose to be fun and again you're pushing all of this on me. I've lived with all of this for ten years, and I'm tired of it! Damn it, I just want to enjoy some time without you pushing me to change. I get it, I'm fucked up, but can you give it a rest for five damn seconds?!"

"I'm sorry," he managed to get out, taking a few steps toward her, "I didn't mean to upset you. You're right, you're doing great and I shouldn't have pushed it. I'm sorry."

Tommy counted the ticks of his watch.

A total of eighty-seven seconds passed before she ended her long, searching look, and turned away from him.

Another thirty-seven passed before he heard her sigh and sniff, a sure sign he'd made her cry.

Another twelve before she straightened out her shirt and walked away from him.

And another eighteen before he heard her bedroom door shut.

Well, that went well.

* * *

A/N: Lol, do any of you even remember my story? I'm sorry I took so long - I've had half of this written for about two and a half months, but I never sat myself down to finish it. I had a very rough quarter - though I did very well - and now I'm facing my worst quarter yet! AHH! I'm pulling out my red hair trying to get through it all, but I hate excuses, so I'm sorry. It's my fault and I'm going to do my best to update faster. Savvy?

So I know I promised some fun and while there was some, I had to end it with all this. I didn't plan on it initially - actually I planned on it much later - but I changed my mind at the last minute. It'll work out, trust me. Oh and sorry to Ben Affleck fans - I really cannot stand him :P

Tootles!


	13. Chapter 12: Vulnerable

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**Vulnerable**

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"_If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears."_

_-Unknown_

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Tommy endured quite the meticulous morning, counting like he'd done back in his youth. Realizing his short-term memory often failed him, he began to count anything and everything in order to keep his memory in check, to test himself on a regular basis. After several years it worked, and Tommy's memory stopped failing him; little mnemonic devices suddenly aiding him as the numbers.

Today the counting came back, as though to warn Tommy he needed to remember: his youth, his past with Kimberly; before something stupid flew from his lips yet again.

He showered for precisely seven minutes before his warm, slippery feet met the steamy tile on the floor. His ten toes rubbed awkwardly against the damp surface in an attempt to keep from stumbling during the three strides to the sink-counter.

He wiped the mirror five times to get rid of the fog masking his reflection. As he anticipated, the steam came again but it allowed him a brief moment to take in his appearance - his dark hair sopping wet, his face dripping with residual water, his dark eyes still stricken from the night before.

Silently, Tommy berated him for seventeen different things he did wrong, all stupid and all which did, or easily could have, hurt Kimberly in more ways imaginable - though she shouldn't, he realized, sadly, that she valued his opinion before most others. This allowed for his words to hurt her far more than anyone else's - than necessary.

Shaking his head twice, he reentered his bedroom wearing merely his towel, deciding on what to dress himself in. His regular teaching attire consisted of a button up shirt, slacks, glasses, tie, and loafers (shoes he hated with a fiery passion). Figuring he should dress, at the very least, similar, he opted to wear a button up shirt and dark slacks, refusing so much as to even look at his loafers.

Exactly seven buttons lined his light blue shirt, though he only buttoned up six over his white undershirt. He rolled the two sleeves up to his elbows, adding his black watch at the wrist. He slid each leg through the smooth surface of his black slacks, slick in color though casual in fabric. After staring at the second hand of his watch for thirty-eight ticks, he stood up and approached his closet, staring at the four pairs of shoes he had, one of which were the icky loafers. Snarling, he looked at the other three - all were black; he generally wore one pair for special occasions and the other two for casual outings. He decided the one with the fraying shoelace near the fourth shoe-hole wouldn't do, so he grabbed the other, slipping both on quickly and quietly.

For three minutes and forty-seven seconds, he allowed several thoughts regarding Kimberly to run through his mind.

Kim.

She'd stolen his heart when he'd been merely a teenager, a boy on the verge of manhood yet still so far away. Kimberly was a girl who always attracted the attention of everyone in the room, no matter the circumstances and no matter the audience. For the most part, girls hated her for it. If she didn't have as much confidence and self-esteem, she definitely would have found it hard being in the presence of females who didn't know her too well. However, who she was gave her the ability to brush off the mean-spirited and attract the friendships of more worthy people. Once someone got to know her, it was_ nearly impossible_ not to love her.

During their high school days, Tommy refused to give into the bait of his fellow classmates. Other guys wanted her, he knew it and accepted it, secure in Kimberly's love for him. Cheating? Never. Leaving him? Unlikely. It just was not her style to commit such petty acts.

Precisely why everyone had such a hard time when it came to her sending the letter. Kimberly Hart didn't do such things and what's more, she certainly would have offered more than a simple 'I'm sorry' to satiate the wounded party. Tommy recognized the signs now, and it broke his heart to no end.

He should have seen it sooner.

His fellow Rangers all had theories about it, but rarely broached the subject with him. Katherine took it the hardest, her own feelings overshadowing the friendship she once maintained with her pink predecessor. Being so young, the anger she felt grew colder and more hostile as the years progressed, hence the strained predicament between the two of them in the present.

Sometimes, mostly during his early college years, Tommy would spend his nights thinking about Kimberly, wondering what she was doing and about her relationship with her new beau. Every now and then, when he'd hear an old song of theirs or pass by a girl wearing a similar perfume, he'd curse both him and her - him for not being enough and her for ruining every notion he ever had about a Hallmark card.

Many times his mother brought up the bitterness with him and, naturally, he would brush her off, stating he didn't want to dredge up old drama. Maybe if he'd listened to her, he would have gone after her. Maybe if he'd listened to anyone, even his subconscious, he would have at least called her.

If a bigger sucker exists, Tommy would like to meet him.

Just going after her could have saved her. All he needed to do was see her, see the change from the Kimberly he knew to the one she became, and all the suffering would have been avoidable.

Woulda. Coulda. Shoulda.

_Regret_._ Six letters_. _Ten years of heartache_. _A lifetime of shame and guilt_.

Tommy didn't need to see the future to know he'd never forgive himself.

Shaking his head, clearing his thoughts, Tommy finally rose to his feet and exited his room, curious as to whether or not Kimberly would join him for his little outing. He wouldn't blame her for bailing considering what he'd said to her the night before.

Yet, he managed a slight smile when he saw her in the kitchen, already dressed in dark grey pants, long-sleeved blue shirt, and a fitted black vest. She'd pulled her dark hair back into a small ponytail, a few wispy pieces sliding around her neck. He thought her absolutely gorgeous, much more like the girl she'd been in high school.

"Kim, you look great," he told her, his eyes lifting up to meet her own.

After sharing a brief gaze, she dropped her stare, muttering a quiet, "Thank you."

"If I'm being honest," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck ruefully, "I wasn't sure whether or not you were going to come with me."

"You asked me to come. Why wouldn't I?" she asked, quirking her head to the side.

Shrugging, he acknowledged, "I did say a few things to you yesterday that didn't come out like I'd hoped they would."

Shaking her head, she replied, "No, I just didn't want to hear them. I guess it's something I need to work on."

His brows nearly lifted to the ceiling, but he remained quiet, fearful his fat mouth would incriminate him again. Each time he realized she proved just how little faith her had in her - underestimating her to the core. Her strength was returning, and he needed to remember that the most.

"You ready to go? I haven't been in a school for a long while, but I remember something about classes being in the morning rather than late at night."

"My, my, aren't we a little snippy?"

Sticking her tongue out at him, making him inwardly smile, the two of them exited his home and began on the quiet drive to his school.

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"I never remembered it looking so...ominous," she whispered, so low Tommy couldn't ascertain whether or not she mumbled it to him or solely for herself.

Nonetheless, he answered, "Maybe cause you liked school once upon a time. You owned Angel Grove High back in the day. I think I'm the best person to tell you that."

"Why you?" she asked, still staring out the window, eyeing the students with a critical expression.

Smirking, surprised she didn't already know the answer, he teased, "Come on, Kim. Don't you remember my first day? I ran into you in the hallway and it was clear you ruled the school."

"Please," she sighed, rolling her eyes, a little twitch at the corner of her mouth.

"Well," he noted casually, "it doesn't matter now since we're the adults. I don't expect for the children to give you much grief."

"And what about you?" she asked suddenly, facing him, her dark eyes wide.

"What about me?"

"You can't tell me the girls don't drool over you!" she retorted as they pulled into his reserved parking space.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, leave it to 'Tommy, the Oblivious' to not understand the notion that he's hot."

Sighing, he opened the door and ventured around to greet Kim on the opposite side. With a sly grin on her face, she peered up at him, her pretty eyes sparkling in the sunlight. _I'm at school, _he mentally reminded himself, _and as a teacher_. _Don't lose yourself in her_.

As she stepped outside, she readjusted her vest, brushing back her already unflawed hair. Tommy noticed her fidgeting at once.

"Are you sure you can do this? You don't have to go in there, you know—"

"I thought you were done with the babying?" she interrupted, still staring at the high school.

Sighing, he replied, "You're right. Let's go then."

Reaching over to take her hand, he stopped himself, remembering not only his present location but her prior reactions - he didn't want to catch her off guard. Sighing a flustered, frustrated outbreath, Tommy began to walk in step with Kimberly up to his class, desperately trying to ignore the stares from the students around him.

He could see them all, knew precisely what they were thinking. He didn't need to be a mind-reader to figure it out. While the girls' faces displayed unwarranted jealousy at the sight of the youngest teacher walking with a pretty girl, the boys barely could contain the drool inside their mouths.

"Good morning, Doctor Oliver," exclaimed a jubilant Cassidy Cornell, her minion Devin close behind, camera in hand.

_You're a teacher, Tommy. Remember you're a teacher. First rule: you don't have to like them, but you still have to educate them._

Giving his best effort, Tommy replied, "Hello, Miss Cornell. Mister Del Valle. I trust you both are doing well?"

"Fabulous!" she shouted zealously, making Kimberly take a step back. Turning her eyes on said girl, Cassidy asked, "I was just wondering who your friend is, Doctor Oliver?"

Internally rolling his eyes, Tommy told her, "A personal friend of mine. Now, Miss Cornell, you'll excuse us."

Pressing his hand on Kimberly's back, urging her forward, Tommy started for the front entrance again, only to be thwarted by an annoyingly persistent Cassidy.

"Cause you know, Doctor O, the school is always curious about new visitors. Might I, perhaps, have the first interview with you and your...friend?"

_Center yourself, Tommy. You're not allowed to kill your students. There are laws against that, man, so chill out!_

Clenching his teeth, fighting the urge to grab Kimberly and take her away, take her away before anymore harm could reach her (even on the seemingly harmless grounds of a high school campus), Tommy shook his head. "I'm afraid not, Cassidy. Beside the obvious, this is not the time nor the place."

"The obvious?" she questioned, her brow furrowed together.

"Yes, the obvious. You know, along with Mister Del Valle, that personal stories of the faculty are not permitted without permission and without cause. What's more, no guest of mine will be subject to even the school's gossip train. The bell is going to ring in ten minutes, I suggest you search for another story."

Before she got the chance to rebuttal, Tommy swiftly led Kimberly to the front doors and entered, leaving the gossip hag outside.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, a bit sheepish. "I didn't expect her to come racing over like that."

Kimberly, however, wasn't even paying attention to him. Her eyes were focused solely on her current location: the high school hallway. To her, it all felt like a time-warp. It was only ten years prior that she walked a similar hallway, the same man standing beside her, hand in hand._ Then again, he was very much a boy back then, and I was a hell of a lot prettier, _she thought to herself.

Littered with students, nearly all of whom were essentially staring at her, Kimberly felt the back of her throat clog over with strain. Despite the evident difference of appearance between her and their teacher, clearly most of them assumed something between them. She tried to think back to her high school days - _did I ever imagine one of my teachers dating someone strictly because of their gender and the fact they walk side by side? _Shaking her head, trying to quell her mind's teasing, she cleared her dry throat.

"This way, Kim," he told her, leading her down the claustrophobic passageway of hell. _Okay, way to be melodramatic, Kim_._ Good going, you idiot_.

As they walked down to the farthest classroom - _how convenient,_ she thought sarcastically - she stifled the urge to brush her hand across her face, to check if something lingered on her skin. She couldn't grasp the concept why everyone stared at her. Okay, she knew why they were staring, but the looks she received just made her want to crawl under a rock.

Once they entered the classroom, much to Kimberly's relief, Tommy shut the door and pressed his tall body against the frame.

"You know, if you're going for normal, I don't think you're succeeding," she teased, taking a seat in a front desk.

Nodding, pursing his pink lips, he conceded, "Obviously. You should know I normally don't get these kinds of stares."

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" she challenged, quirking up her eyebrow. Tommy needed to do a double take.

Taking her eyes off him, she peered around his classroom, drinking in her surroundings. "Kind of plain, if you ask me."

Rolling his eyes, he responded, "Nobody did ask you."

"Touchy. Are all science teachers like this?"

"I'm a paleontologist. I have a low tolerance for people picking on my clean classroom. I like things clean and organized."

"Unspoiled," she murmured, more to herself than him.

"No," he immediately said, attempting to keep the chipper sound in his tone. "Flaws are the reason people, places, and things have character. Perfection is a little boring if you ask me."

Kimberly responded as he hoped: she managed a little smile and again took on the endeavor of peering at every surface in his bare classroom. Smiling, he walked to his desk and began pulling out the various papers he wanted to leave the sub, hoping to alleviate some of the problems for her. Why the bizarre principal found an entire outline for the end of the year a necessary requirement was beyond him. The annoying woman just wanted another reason to make his life hell. She would have made an excellent friend of Rita's.

"Why teach, Tommy?"

She stared at him intently from across the room, a student's project on plant fossils in her hands. Kimberly looked..._right _standing there.

"What do you mean?"

"It looks like you could do anything you want. You're intelligent, ambitious...I'm not saying it's not a noble profession," she quickly told him, desperate not to offend him. "On the contrary, I don't know how you deal with all these kids. It's flabbergasting, but why not work for some big university? Why not work somewhere that allows you to go on big excavations or...I don't know. I mean, I doubt trace fossils show up beneath the school cafeteria."

"Not often, no," he chuckled, running his hands casually through his hair.

She waited for an answer.

Tipping his head to the side, he told her, "You're not the first person to ask and I've never really found a way to explain it. I like teaching the kids. I've done the digs and I've spent far too long in university classrooms. I'm done with all that. And, _most_ _days_, I like being around the kids."

"Most days?" She grinned.

"It's definitely a subjective thing. There are days when I just want to kill 'em."

"I bet."

As soon as the words were out, the door opened to reveal a frazzled, homely woman wearing a tight bun, a floor-length skirt, and an ugly green sweater. Tommy arched his eyebrows as she approached him.

"I thought I was taking over Doctor Oliver's class again today," she mentioned, not even acknowledging Kimberly.

Nodding, Tommy replied, "I'm Doctor Oliver...Tommy, please."

"Hello, Doctor Oliver," she greeted, ignoring his request. "My name is Roberta Myers. I began yesterday due to the last sub's inability to handle things here. Your principal, Miss Randal, has been causing numerous problems for most of the faculty. Glad to see you're back."

"No, I'm not back, Miss—"

"Missus," she interrupted.

"Myers, but I'm only here today to help you sort through a few things. I've got the outline here of the rest of the year, organized and ready to go over, and then my friend and I shall be out of your way."

The woman slowly turned around, giving Kimberly a once-over without much thought. Tilting her head by way of salutation, she returned her attention to Tommy.

"We've only got five minutes before class," she noted.

"Which is why I'll sit in for the first one. I'd like to finish up a few things regarding the notes on the paper during second period, my free class, so you and Miss Randal will have an easier time dissecting it. I'll sit in the back."

The bell rang one second afterward, followed by the loud crashing of the door as it burst open, overflowing with various students. The leader of the pack, the one barreling in like a ravenous bear, was the very tall, burly Keith Hayden, followed by two of his own Rangers, Kira and Connor. Tommy didn't say anything to the woman again, instead turning around to meet Kimberly's frightened face. Immediately he picked everything off his desk and headed for the back, ignoring the questions from his befuddled students. He even banked his foot on the leg of a chair in his haste to reach her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, throwing his papers down, not bothering to pick up the ones falling down to the clean floor, his baby toe throbbing. "Kim, what's the matter?"

Dazed, she responded, "Huh?"

Placing both his hands on her shoulders, he repeated, "Kimberly, what is the matter?"

"N-nothing. I'm fine." Her voice was far too high for it to sound even remotely convincing.

His eyes tightened as he tried to read her clenched face. She was keeping something from him.

"Kim, I think—"

"Doctor O, it's good to have you back," said Connor, alerting the class he now believed it the appropriate time to speak with him.

Sighing, rolling his eyes, he turned around to face the room. After a moment's hesitation, he told them, "I'm afraid I'm not returning to class today. I'm still on leave, only returning today to help Missus Myers with a few things."

"When will you be coming back?" asked Kira, clearly trying to keep Connor -_ and any other loud mouth idiot, _he thought sourly - from asking questions concerning Kimberly or the reason for his absence.

"I cannot say precisely. At this point, it could be days or it could be weeks. I expect you all to continue behaving as you would when I'm here. If you run off another substitute, you're really going to hope I don't come back for a while. Understand?"

A few murmurs of agreement alerted him they comprehended, but whether or not they'd listen would be entirely different.

"Then, Missus Myers, the floor is yours."

"Excuse me, Doctor O, but aren't you going to introduce the class to your friend?"

Tommy didn't need any superpowers to recognize the voice. _You can't kill students_. _You can't kill students_. _You can't kill students_. Kimberly stiffened beside him, enough for the substitute to notice in the very front of the room, and broke in.

"Doctor Oliver has other matters at the moment. Let's get back to where we were yesterday. Turn to page two-hundred and seventy-eight in your books..."

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"Are you all right," he asked in a low voice.

They were seated at the back desk - him with his outline, her with a book in hand; though he was fairly certain she hadn't read a single word - away from the stares of his students. Only when he knew nobody could hear them, not even the potent hearing of the nosy Cassidy, he broached a conversation with her.

Still bewildered, she faced him and eloquently responded, "Huh?"

"What's wrong? The bell rang and suddenly you froze up."

"I'm fine." Tommy's new most hated word: fine.

"You looked scared out of your mind."

"It was nothing."

"It'll get easier once you start being honest with me."

"It'll get easier once you start leaving certain things alone."

"Not when it concerns you, Kim."

"You're infuriating."

"You're in denial."

Letting out a flustered growl, she slammed her book shut and let it fall on the table with a loud thump.

So much for not being conspicuous.

"Oops." Her voice was tiny.

Thankfully, Kira again contributed her perfect timing and drew the attention back to the front of the room. Tommy would certainly have to thank her for it later.

Kimberly let out an audible breath. Tommy chuckled, "You done?"

"This was all your fault. I refuse to take responsibility when your loud mouth got us in trouble."

"In trouble? Kim, I'm the authority figure here. I'm the one who says who is in trouble."

"You're the reason, then, so many kids don't like going to school," she retorted, sounding as ferocious as a small kitten.

"I'm the reason these kids are passing. I don't need any grief from you." He finished by giving her a wink.

Rolling her eyes, she picked her book back up and attempted to locate the page she foolishly closed without a bookmark. Her change in mood nearly startled him, and he didn't want to even think about letting the subject drop. Something scared her, and he was bound and determined for her to open up about it.

How else would she ever learn to feel safe around him?

Around anyone?

"Kim?"

"Hmm?" She kept her eyes zeroed in on her book, hardly giving him even an ounce of attention.

"You never did answer my question," he told her.

"Which question?"

"What's wrong? What spooked you so bad?"

Even over the noise of his incessantly shrill students, he could hear the crinkling of her book as her fingers nearly ripped through the pages. Her breathing turned into light pants, the kind of breaths one has when adrenaline is pumping. Hard. Was she having an anxiety attack over being back in school? Tommy remembered his psychology class from his college freshman year, but he'd only ever read about agoraphobia. Seeing it firsthand changed his perspective entirely.

Letting out a slow breath, a tortured lament, she answered, "One of your students...well, he k-kind of looked like...you know."

Tommy felt like he'd been punched in the gut by a putty.

"Like _him?_"

She nodded, unable to say his name, to form any word really.

"Who?" he choked out.

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me."

"Why?" she asked sharply. "His face already haunts my dreams. I don't want that for anyone else."

"I'm not just anybody."

Desperately, she admitted, "Which means you're on the list of people I never want to see him."

"Kimberly, I—"

"Maybe we should hold off on this conversation," she suggested, jerking her head in the direction of an eavesdropping Cassidy.

"Later," he whispered.

She nodded her asset, making him unsure whether or not she would open up. To keep his mind off it, he went back to counting.

He had thirty-six students, but forty desks in his classroom.

Only eight posters lined the vast walls.

Seventy-eight shoes were tapping the floor...

* * *

A/N: If I say sorry, and offer to give anyone still reading this dozens of virtual cookies, would anyone forgive me? I wouldn't forgive me, but then again, I'm a cynic.

College ruined my life, as I've mentioned before, and then summer came at me hard. Instead of focusing on writing, I needed to spend every ounce of energy on reality. Being an adult really sucks. I won't bore you with details, but I'm about to start school again - and I've decided to take even harder courses, all at once, cause I'm an idiot - so I'm going to do my damndest to find time to write. Lol, I'm sure my notebooks will have little notes in the margins regarding Tommy and Kim.

Also, as I mentioned on my profile, I actually did have this chapter ready to go a while back, but a virus really did eat my computer alive. I got a new one, a Mac (I'm from the Northern California, so most people were astounded I waited this long), so it took me some time to find a way to transfer my documents (which were configured for a PC) to a Mac. I did it! It was a bitch, but I did it :P

Tootles!


	14. Um, reality?

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**Um...reality?**

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"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting."

-Mark Twain

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Tommy and Kim, twin expressions of frustration marring their pretty faces, smacked the redhead whose face was planted down on an open textbook. When the girl didn't respond, Kim poured the half-open bottle of coke (_Jolt _- filled to the brim with caffeine) over her head.

**Author **- What?! Wha' happened? Did I miss my exam?

**Kim** - No, but you will when I karate-chop your ass. What is your problem?

**Author **- Huh?

**Tommy **- Um, what she is getting at, is why in the hell are you doing this to us?

**Author **- _Huh?_

**Kim** - Ugh! Hon, you've been a completely evil wench to us! Do you realize that you've ruined our lives, ruined our friends lives, and now have left us to fend for ourselves? Really, what were you thinking?

**Author** - I'm...sorry?

**Tommy** - You can't just do that to us. You can't just ruin my life and expect to sit on your ass for months!

**Author** - Dude, that's not fair! You've got a PhD, you should know all about higher education. I'm trying to balance taking too many classes, acting as Vice President for my club, a job, an extra job for school, which I sadly don't even get paid for, but I'm an idiot and decided to take it on as a favor; despite my head's urging to take the extra time to catch up on sleep; and, to top it all off, I'm in the midst of midterms. Can't you take some pity on me?

**Kim** - Um, did you take pity on me in chapter 4 when you told everyone my secret? I think not.

**Tommy** - Yeah, and what's with you making me all hot and bothered around her, but not allowing me to get any? The sexual tension is going to kill us!

**Author** - Shut up, you're not even at the sexual tension part. I haven't begun to torture you yet.

**Tommy** - You are evil.

**Kim **- Ditto. And what the hell? How long have I been gone, anyway? Doesn't my dog deserve to get some attention. Are you leaving him all alone strictly because you're a cat person?

**Author** - Irrelevant. You shall see your dog soon enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an exam to study for on top of writing a huge paper.

**Tommy** - Well, put down the stupid books. We know you have a fascination with characters other than us.

**Author **- I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

**Tommy** - Oh, please. Stupid is a bad look for you.

**Kim **- Seriously. Who the hell is Harry Potter?! And who gives you a right to spend time swooning over those freaks, Bella and Edward? What, Tommy and I aren't enough for you now?

**Author** - No, it's not that. I just have been busy and those characters have sort of been appeasing me lately. You two aren't the center of the universe, you know.

**Tommy **- No, but we're the center of the Power Ranger-verse. Now, suck it up, get your shit done, and start writing another chapter. I'm sick of counting everything.

**Kim** - And can you please get me to lighten up. I'm getting bored over here with all the angst.

**Author **- (shamefully hangs head) Fine. I'm sorry, guys. I'll start writing you two again. I will, I promise.

**Kim **- Your promise is probably as good as Rita's.

**Author **- Harsh.

**Tommy** - But true. So go work on your assignments and if I see that Edward character walking around again, I'm going to kill him.

**Author **- Um, good luck with that. The guy is a vampire.

**Tommy** - Well I'm a Power Ranger!

**Kim **- He's so cute when he goes all cliche like that, don't you think?

**Author **- Sadly, yes.

* * *

Yeah, does that sum everything up? Those two have been bitching at me lately so don't worry, I shall write again. Also, this method of A/N sadly isn't mine (but it's inspired by the brilliant DQRC). I thought it was better than whining to you guys.

Tootles!


	15. Chapter 13: Physical

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**Physical**

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"Assuming I am a hypochondriac, couldn't that condition be brought on by a brain tumor?"

-Patric Hardin

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"You do realize you're going to lose, right?" she asked, her mouth lifted in a sly smile.

Throwing a hand at her, his brows puckered in concentration, he continued to stare at his cards. He refused to give in to her taunting, even if she was right.

"You might as well give up now," she said, wagging her eyebrows at him.

Shaking his head, glancing at his cards from left to right, he tried to find a loophole to win the game. She was already up by three and in this particular game, even one meant all the difference.

"It's your turn."

"I'm thinking."

"There are only so many moves you can make."

Peering up beneath his eyelashes, he asked, his eyes alight with mischief, "Do you have any fours?"

"Go fish!" she told him, laughing to herself at the absurdity of the situation. Two fully grown, intelligent people playing a children's game on a Saturday night certainly made her question her own age.

While she thought it seemed silly, Tommy couldn't have found the situation any more perfect. For the first time in a long while, she seemed calm and comfortable - similar to the girl he knew he growing up. He wanted to see more of this Kim and less of the reclusive shadow he saw in his classroom earlier in the morning.

When she yawned, he took the opportunity to encourage her to head up to bed. Truth be told, he didn't want to spend any time away from her, given she'd no doubt leave for New Jersey soon, but he needed tonight for a little bit of studying. She nodded, truly exhausted after a stressful day amongst his brigade of students. When they left after the first class, she'd been silent for most of the day and, unfortunately, he didn't know how to help her.

He hoped to rectify the situation tonight.

"Are you going to bed?" she asked curiously.

Shrugging, he decided to be evasive.

"I've got some work I want to finish up," he told her, not exactly lying. "I'll probably be up for another hour or so. If you need anything I'll be down in the command center."

She nodded, gave him a sweet smile, and then climbed the stairs to bed. When he finally heard the distinctive click of her door, he ventured down to the back portion of the command center where a wall of books lined from the top to the bottom. It took him about ten minutes, but he eventually found his old psychology book from college psych 109 and his binder from his junior year containing his various notes.

He sifted through the binder, his eyes lingering on certain titles he found significant, before he found what he was looking for: the chapter on traumatic experiences.

Tommy grabbed the phone and quickly dialed, reading through the notes quickly so he'd have a firmer grasp for the conversation he was hoping for.

"Saint Andrew's General Hospital," came a high-pitched female voice. "This is Kelly, how can I help you?"

"Yes, I'd like to speak with Doctor Monroe, if he is on call," said Tommy. Tommy wasn't sure whether or not nine was a late hour for him, but he hoped to at least catch him near the end of his shift.

"Whom might I ask is calling?"

"Doctor Thomas Oliver," he told her, hoping his name gave him enough authority to have the man paged.

After waiting on hold for several moments, a deep, familiar voice resonated on the other line.

"Tommy? Tommy Oliver, is that you?"

Chuckling to himself, he replied, "Yeah, Nate, it's me. How have you been?"

"Getting by. I haven't spoken to you since...Man, I don't even know. I haven't seen you since grad school."

Feeling a little guilty, Tommy replied, "I never thought teaching would consume my life. It's...quite the _fight_ sometimes." He never could help subtly referencing his side job.

"I understand that, man. So what can I help you with?"

Sighing, Tommy decided to be honest with him, knowing the only way to get the best information was to have the topic out in the open.

"Well, I'm kind of having a problem right now," he began, rubbing the back of his neck, ashamed to be discussing Kim's personal life like this. "You see, an old...friend came back into my life recently and she...she isn't doing so well."

"What do you mean?" asked Nate, his tone no longer congenial but solemn. Doctoral.

"I haven't seen this girl since we broke up back in high school. She moved to a different state and ended our relationship suddenly without giving me much of anything."

"All right."

"Turns out that um...she was sexually assaulted back then and thought she needed to end the relationship for my sake. Silly notion about her no longer being good enough for me."

"Ah, I see," murmured Nate, letting out a distinctive breath. "And you said she isn't doing so well now?"

"I saw her for the first time in ten years only a couple weeks ago. And Nate, you got to know that this was the most beautiful girl in my high school. Hell, she's still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But now...I mean it's like she is nothing more than a mere specter."

"Describe her appearance."

"Thin, to the point of being frail. Bags beneath her eyes, a side effect from monstrous nightmares, no doubt. Her hair has absolutely no shine and..." Tommy trailed off, shaking his head, hating the situation. "This girl used to light up a room when she walked in and now all she wants to do is get lost in the crowd. Actually, she doesn't want to be near any crowd. She just exists and I don't know how to help her."

"You're in a difficult situation," said Nate gently, not telling Tommy anything new. "Do you know if the girl has ever been treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

"She was never treated for anything. She never even got herself a physical after the guy..."

"Tommy, I don't exactly live next door," reminded Nate. "All I can do is tell you about the disorder and point you in the right direction."

"Tell me everything."

Nate explained the fundamentals behind Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or as he called it, PTSD. According to him, PTSD is a psychological disturbance that generally develops following a severe traumatic experience. The common symptoms include nightmares and random flashbacks, problems with social relationships, emotional withdrawal, and an increased sense of vulnerability. Furthermore, rape and assault causes typically involve an elevated sense of guilt and anxiety.

Based on Nate's conclusions, Tommy figured that Kimberly not only had and maintained acute PTSD, after seeing her around the Rangers and, most especially, with his students and the general public, he believed she had a degree of panic disorder and androphobia.

Nate let him know that Kim's critical case required some professional attention if she has aspirations of living a relatively normal life. Tormenting herself for ten years didn't do her any favors, not mentally or physically. He did encourage Tommy to, at the very least, get her physically checked by a _female_ physician.

When the conversation ended an hour later, Tommy didn't know whether to feel relieved he at least knew to some degree what was going on in Kimberly's head or horrified for the exact same reason.

He chose the former, if only to remain optimistic.

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"I've got my class pretty much set up for the next week or so," said Tommy, staring at her across his kitchen table, pushing his cereal around lazily.

She peered up, a slightly confused expression on her face. She asked, "So we're going back? Spend some time with the Rangers?"

Sighing, running his hands through his hair, he responded, "I suppose we can head back. However, um...well, if you're up to it, I'd like to do a few things before we leave."

"What kind of things?" she asked warily, sensing his tense disposition.

"Look, Kim," he began, rising from his seat and pacing the kitchen, "I don't exactly want you to freak out over this."

"Too late," she said. Her voice was tiny.

Kimberly watched him gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down with his swallow, fear rising into her own throat. He missed his old school days where he felt confident in every conversation with her, never doubting her compassion and consideration over everything he had to say. Tommy feared she'd block him out as soon as he suggested certain plans he had.

"Tommy, please," she pleaded, her big brown eyes begging him to get this over with.

Sighing, he told her, "I would like you to consider scheduling an appointment with a physician to get you a physical."

Clearly she hadn't been expecting this for her eyebrows quirked up and a frown tugged at her lips. She asked, "Why? I'm fine, Tommy. Physically I'm healthy."

"You haven't seen a doctor since you were seventeen, Kim," Tommy noted, still pacing around his clean kitchen. "I know you appear healthy and I'm sure you are in the conventional sense, but there is so much about your body that clearly needs to be checked over."

At this, she finally understood what he was getting at.

She lowered her gaze, moving her finger over the odd figures in the wood of his kitchen table. After a while, he didn't think she'd respond. Just as he opened his mouth to continue, she said, "I doubt any...residual or anything like that are still present."

Rolling his eyes, he told her, "Don't be a smart-ass, Kimberly. You know I'm not talking about that and don't impugn my intelligence by suggesting it."

He felt slightly better when she lifted up with a small smile, obviously happy at the way he spoke to her so casually. The more Tommy spoke to her and listened, the more he realized that normalcy is precisely what the girl craved.

Then her frown returned. "Why are you suddenly pushing this?" she asked, sensing more motivation than just concern. "What exactly brought this on all the sudden? I mean I thought you were for me doing average, everyday things, but I didn't know that hospital visits were high on your priority list for me. Please be honest."

Sucking in his top lip, biding his time for a moment, he returned to his location at the table. When he met her gaze, he replied, "All right, I'll be honest." He let out a heavy breath and rotated his shoulders, feeling an exceeding amount of tension in his upper back. He really needed to visit his karate dojo soon. "I spent a little time last night looking up your...condition in some old textbooks."

"Condition?"

He nodded, continuing, "I also called an old friend of mine who is a working physician. He doesn't know you and I didn't use your name, don't worry."

"I wasn't," she said softly, her eyes impossibly tender. "I know you'd never betray me like that."

"I wouldn't."

Brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she motioned for him to go on.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he resumed, "I explained your situation and um...he came to some conclusions." As Tommy gazed in her big eyes, he thought he might drown in how open they suddenly were to him. She looked so vulnerable, so young; seventeen all over again. A subconscious part of him yearned to reach out to her, to touch her, but he knew his touch may cause a reaction in her she didn't need right now. So instead he persisted. "He thinks you suffer from an acute condition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with a certain level of panic disorder and androphobia."

Kimberly stared blankly, her forehead wrinkled with bewilderment. He could practically see the gears turning in her head.

"Kim?"

"Androphobia?" she asked, though Tommy could tell by her tone that she was talking to herself. "Andro is Greek for man. So the fear of men?"

He nodded, inwardly impressed at her quick analysis. Then he felt guilty, since he knew how smart she truly was. Not to mention, he figured ten years of isolation left a lot of time for reading.

"This doctor suggested that you at the very least get yourself treated by a physician. I know it's going to be hard and I know you're scared of being touched like that, but I promise that I'll be there."

"You will?" she asked, peering up at him, the vulnerability returning at full force. "You'll come with me? You'll stay in the room with me?"

He nodded, hoping his intense gaze would assure her of his honesty.

Silence bombarded the room for a long while before she finally started to chuckle in earnest. Tommy wasn't complaining, smiling himself, but he did glance at her in confusion.

Kimberly said, in between laughter, "It's just like high school all over. You're protective of me when you have no reason to be. I mean, I'm an awful lot of trouble when I'm not your responsibility."

Tommy rolled his eyes again, satisfied he'd convinced her to go but annoyed at her self-consciousness. "Kim, we wouldn't be us if I didn't have your back and was saving you."

She suddenly looked taken aback, and feistily yelled, "Excuse me, Tommy Oliver, but I was always capable of handling myself back in the day. I kicked quite a bit of Rita butt when I was the Pink Ranger."

Smirking, he argued, "Yes, but there were a few occasions when I believe my signature phrase was 'hang on, Kimberly.'"

Looking away, smiling to herself, she said, "So I sometimes bit off more than I could chew. But you know, I did just fine for a long while. Pardon me, but who was a Ranger first here?"

Tommy laughed out loud, pleased at the direction the conversation suddenly took a turn towards. "You may have been an original, but who has done this stuff longer?"

"Moot point. I still did it first," she murmured, rubbing her nails against her shirt haughtily.

"I can't deny that, Kim."

And he didn't want to.

He'd say or do anything to keep that smile on her pretty face.

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Kimberly felt like a puppet who'd been dropped down the stairs. Now her strings were all tangled and her head felt disengaged from her body. As she stared at the white walls of the waiting room, she bounced her knee up and down, desperate for something to keep her mind occupied from the impending visit with someone who would most likely declare her mentally unstable and virtually crazy.

She wasn't lying to Tommy when she told him about her life following the incident in Florida. She never went to a hospital and she certainly never went to a complete stranger to talk about her feelings regarding what happened to her. So far, Tommy only implied she needed to get physically checked out and made no indications that he wanted her to meet with a psychiatrist. If he suggested she reduce herself to talking to a shrink, she may go back to her old Ranger days and soundly kick his ass.

Suddenly she snorted at herself, finding the idea ridiculous. _Right, _she thought,_ like I can really hurt the almighty Tommy, the ultimate Power Ranger_. _Even if he wasn't a thousand times stronger than me, the guy could easily evade me_.

As she waited patiently (_all right, impatiently_) next to Tommy, who was surprisingly quiet next to her as he read a book, she started thinking about what was in store for her in the future.

In spite of Tommy's constant assurances of his desire to help her, she couldn't help feel like much of it had to do with his huge heart's desire to help all things weaker than himself. Not to mention, Tommy harbored strong feelings for all the former Rangers. Kimberly tried to ignore it for most of her stay with him, but she couldn't deny the voice in the back of her mind telling her much of it had to do with pity. The guy couldn't continue taking care of her forever.

So where did that leave her?

She started considering what she'd do when she got home. Her poor dog required an obscene amount of attention upon her return and a few doggie treats as a bribe for forgiveness. Her boss gave her a lot of time off, but she knew work wouldn't wait forever on her. The idea of going home to that life again didn't sit well with her, and Jason's extravagant offer suddenly started sounding more like a saving grace every time it crossed her conflicted mind.

The thought of burdening Jason like that held her back, though, and while her best friend often told her he wanted nothing more than to have her with him like that, she didn't want to encumber him in any way. He already did so much for her and she felt bad taking anything else.

Then again, staying with Jason would mean being closer to Tommy. That sent a round of butterflies in her stomach at the thought.

_Maybe I should do it, _she considered, twisting a strand of her hair around her index finger. _Take what I can get from him_.

"Hart, Kimberly?"

She jerked her head up, peering at a plump nurse wearing a particularly pair of heinous salmon scrubs. After being around so many various doctors and nurses at Billy's hospital, Kimberly wondered if it was a requirement for all medical professionals to choose the absolute worst colors for their attire.

_Maybe it's a ploy so we take them all seriously, _she thought bitterly, rising to her feet.

Tommy rested his hand on the small of her back, barely skimming the surface of her light-blue shirt. They walked together toward the woman in sync, her kind face beckoning them forward.

"Follow me, right this way," she said calmly.

As Tommy took a step behind the nurse, Kimberly balked.

"I can't do this," she whispered, her apprehension and fear mounting tenfold now that she finally reached the point of actually having to go in. "I can't do this, Tommy. I thought I could, but I can't."

The nurse shot Tommy an anxious look, unsure of how to go about handling Kimberly. He ignored the woman, focusing all his attention on Kimberly. He took two steps back and, after a moment's hesitation, placed one hand gently on her shoulder.

"Kim, you have to do this," he told her, his voice authoritative. She recognized it from when he spoke to his students. "I've requested a female physician and I will be there the entire time. I promise you that you will not be alone in this. Nobody is going to touch you like that again."

"She'll ask questions. She'll ask questions I don't want to answer and when I don't, she'll assume things. Bad things. She's going to think I'm crazy." A stray tear slipped from her eye and slid down her cheek. She hadn't even realized she started crying, caught up in her dilemma.

Shaking his head, he assured her, "No, she won't. 'Cause you're not." He moved closer to her, giving her shoulder a light squeeze. "Now, we're going to do this together. This is to help you, not to hinder you or deter you or anything like that, Kim. We'll get through this, you and me."

"Promise?" she asked, feeling so stupid that she needed constant reassuring like a six-year-old child.

"I promise."

Sighing, resigned to Tommy's stubborn desire for her to go through with this, she nodded at her feet, agreeing to continue. Kimberly didn't see Tommy gesture for the nurse to continue walking, but coaxed her feet forward when he encouraged her to resume walking.

After the standard procedures were all taken care of (blood pressure, weight, etc., all of which caused Kimberly to cringe as the woman touched her in order to get the readings), they were led into a private room. The nurse asked Kimberly to change into a white dressing-gown and said the doctor would be in shortly.

"I'll face the other way," said Tommy, respecting her privacy.

As quickly as she could, Kimberly stripped herself of her clothing and dressed in the itchy gown.

"I'm decent," she told him, sitting atop the hard table and doing her best to hide some of the other scars she endured that terrible night.

As if reading her mind, understanding the silence was getting to her, Tommy said, "I never liked these rooms. Makes me feel like I'm suffocating in a bag of marshmallows."

"There is an unnecessary amount of white in here, yes," noted Kimberly, staring at the door, waiting for the woman to come in to poke and prod her. "I suppose white makes it easier to spot the different tools and what not on the counter."

"If they need help spotting it, perhaps they should find another occupation," he quipped, throwing her a smile.

"Don't you have a doctor suffix?" she teased, still staring at the door. "Shouldn't you be defending your fellow doctors?"

"I am a scientist, not a physician," he clipped, throwing out his hand as though to emphasize the point.

Just as she opened her mouth to retort, the door opened revealing a rather short woman with olive skin. Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore, much to Kimberly's disdain, a white lab coat over those same ugly salmon scrubs the nurse wore. Though she gave Kimberly a smile as she shut the door and pulled out a stool, she still felt like the woman had it out for her.

_Now you're just being paranoid, _she thought, shaking her head.

"Hello, Kimberly," said the doctor, peering over at the questionnaire Kimberly filled out during the long wait. "I'm Doctor Carter and I'll be the one giving the examination today. It says here that it's been quite a long time since your last medical visit."

Nodding, she focused her attention on her fingers, twiddling them in her lap.

"Well, um, it says here that you had an incident when you were seventeen, but it doesn't give me specifics. Would you care to elaborate?" Her sweet voice made Kimberly feel like she was drowning in honey.

Suddenly she felt like hot lead had been dropped into her stomach at the thought of again revealing what went down. She frantically looked toward Tommy, silently begging him to tell her what to do.

He came through. "Kim, you can do this," he told her, standing to his full potential, taking two steps, and taking a seat beside her. "She doesn't need details. You just got to tell her a little bit about what happened."

His words resonated in her head and she knew the truth and validity behind them, but it didn't make the situation any easier. Sniffing, she wiped at the tears already in her eyes, the ones always close to the surface these days, before she turned her attention back to the woman in the room. If their brief conversation confused her, she didn't show it.

"Kimberly," began Dr. Carter, removing her glasses. "I want you to remember that nothing you say here will be revealed to anyone other than me. It's a safe space for you to talk."

She recognized the sincerity in the woman's voice and knew, legally, that nothing would leave this room other than whatever got written down on the medical chart the hospital just made up. _It still sucks, _she thought.

She cleared her throat, wiping at her eyes again. Then, "When I was seventeen...I was sexually assaulted by my gymnastics coach."

There.

She said it.

Someone other than the two men in her life knew her secret shame.

"Okay," said the doctor, replacing her glasses on the edge of her straight nose. "Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions about it?"

Kimberly shrugged, still twiddling her thumbs around and around. She asked the various queries about the incident that she could easily answer though it made more tears come out - like whether or not he wore a condom, how soon after did she shower and brush her teeth, etc. - while Tommy continued rubbing her back in calming, soothing circles. By the time it ended, she felt so exhausted that she questioned whether or not she could walk out of the room.

And she hadn't even gotten to the actual physical yet.

"I appreciate your bravery," said Dr. Carter, still giving her that warm smile. Fleetingly, she wondered whether or not the same sugary smile was a requirement to graduate medical school. "Are you ready for the exam?"

"Yes," she lied, her breaths coming out in pants.

Nodding, Dr. Carter rose from her position and placed Kimberly's chart on the counter. When she turned around, she asked, "Are you comfortable with only me giving the exam or would you prefer to have another female in the room?"

"For the sake of my dignity, let's just have you do it," she whispered, already feeling violated at the prospect of spreading her legs for one individual.

As she pulled on latex gloves, she continued, "Would you like your friend to step outside?"

Kimberly considered having him leave, so she wouldn't risk him seeing anything hideous on her body. The thought of doing it alone, though, just about killed her. So she shook her head no and clutched onto his hand as she situated herself flat on her back. Tommy sat in a chair beside her, rubbing the back of her hand, desperate to soothe her nerves.

"Well then, let's just relax," said Dr. Carter, pulling out various instruments, making Kimberly cringe.

_Yeah, you try relaxing in my position, _she thought sourly. _I've got my mega-hot ex-boyfriend beside me while a woman feels me up and checks out how gross my body is_. _This is just fucking peachy_.

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* * *

A/N: Hey, guys. So I just finished finals yet again and I pretty much kicked ass, in spite of taking the hardest course of my life (I even pulled off one of the best grades in the worst economy class of my college). This basically means that I've been in a really good mood lately. So I decided to sit my ass down and finish this chapter. I wrote nearly all of it last night and finished it up today. The information regarding PTSD is accurate and if anyone has any questions, feel free to PM me. I know quite a bit about it. I'm not an expert and I can assure you that I'm not a pre-med student (though my best friend is), but I've taken quite a few classes on these particular disorders.

Also, I originally planned to include the Dino Thunder aspect into this story, but I've recently decided to pull that out. Truth is, I just don't know enough about it to really include it. Besides, this story is about Tommy and Kim, not about the life he leads without her. I apologize if you were expecting it, but it's a creative decision I think is best for the story. Don't worry though - I can assure you that there will be action in future chapters.

Tootles!


	16. Chapter 14: Therapy

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**Therapy**

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"After a year of therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'"

-Larry Brown

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When Kimberly was a child, her mother used to insist she not interrupt whenever Kimberly saw her reading over important papers regarding her. From her first grade homework assignments to the registration for her driver's permit, Kimberly was forced to stare across the large kitchen table in anticipation as she waited for results, punishment, or approval.

If only she felt the bubble of excitement like she did back then at the moment. Instead of exhilaration or enthusiasm, or even a little worry over a week-long grounding, she sat there in agony as she watched Dr. Carter read over her chart and write...well, whatever it is doctors write in medical charts.

She turned to her right, eager to see something - virtually anything - helpful in Tommy's expression. Instead she found him staring at the doctor, the same apprehension on his own face.

_Great, _she thought, _now if I've got him freaking out, the one with the PhD, then something has got to be seriously wrong with me_._Even if he was interested in me, there is no way he'd touch me now_. _I mean, screw what happened to me_. _Who wants to be with someone who has more bugs than a broken vending machine?_

Dr. Carter finally peered up through the lens of her glasses, giving both Kimberly and Tommy a small smile. She figured it was more about reassurance, attempting to offer a modicum of comfort for the blow she was about to deliver, than an actual sign that everything was all sunshine.

"All right, Kimberly," she began, pulling off her glasses and placing them atop her head, in front of her ponytail. "Well, I think it's best if I just be straight with you about this."

"I think so too," she whispered, her voice small.

Nodding, glancing at Tommy briefly, considering her choice of words, she asked, "Are you sure you would like your friend in here as we discuss this?"

"Yes," she said immediately, her voice a little stronger.

"Okay." She opened up Kimberly's filed and sighed. At that moment, Kimberly considered throwing the glass of water on the desk directly on her ugly salmon scrubs if the doctor didn't hurry it up. "After the exam yesterday, I immediately sent in the test results and I received them about an hour ago."

"Is...is the time frame really necessary here?" asked Kimberly, tears in her eyes and sobs ready to burst from her throat. "I mean c-can you skip all the stupid buildup and just tell me what I'm looking at here."

If the doctor was offended by the outburst, she didn't show it. Instead, she continued, "Your attacker must have been clean or at the very least did not transfer anything to you. We found no sign of any sexually transmitted diseases in your system. I also didn't see any indication of a uterine fibroid, which is also another good sign."

"But?"

Dr. Carter let out a heavy breath and looked away from Kimberly. "But I did find some severe vaginal scarring and your tissue didn't exactly heal very well given you had no treatment. Ten years of scar tissue growth...well, it can lead to complications."

"What kinds of complications?" asked Tommy, sitting on the edge of his seat, his hands beneath his chin.

"Infertility, for one."

Infertility is defined as the physical inability to produce offspring. Kimberly thought of it as just another thing to add to the list appropriately titled 'Why Kimberly's Life Sucks.'

"I can't have children?" asked Kimberly, her voice so hollow it had Tommy fisting his hands in his hair.

"I know it's a scary word, but in your case it's not necessarily true," murmured Dr. Carter, sympathetically.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It just means that the scarred tissue generally results in infertility. However, it's not as though you've undergone an extensive surgery to absolutely prevent a pregnancy. This is not a certainty. In other words, if and when you decide to have children, the process will just...be more difficult."

Kimberly and Tommy listened as the doctor droned on about the hardships. According to her, actually becoming pregnant would be demanding, both physically and emotionally. She would probably have to undergo fertile treatments, possibly even have to plant numerous eggs. Then, if she became pregnant, the birthing process would be tricky and a c-section would be a definite.

She offered alternatives Kimberly could consider, such as giving her eggs to a surrogate mother, but she stopped listening ten minutes prior. All she could do was hear the words in her head - Ten years of scar tissue - repeating over and over in her head.

_It's my fault, _she thought, a tear slipping from her eye. _If I had just gotten help_. _This is all my damn fault_.

Just as Dr. Carter started going into in depth detail about the egg-transferring process, Kimberly cut her off.

"What else?"

"Pardon?"

"What else is wrong with me, Doctor Carter?" she asked in a clipped tone.

Turning back to the medical chart, she went on, "Obviously certain scars on your body cannot be altered. I'm also concerned about how...you're handling this emotionally."

"I'm fine," she lied.

"Kim—"

She interrupted Tommy, "What? I don't know what you want me to do? I got the physical and she says that I'm fine, short of being unable to have children."

"It'll just be more difficult, Kimberly," reassured Dr. Carter, pity in her eyes. "I apologize for using the word infertility. I should have chosen my words with a little more tact."

"It's not like it matters," she muttered to herself, though loud enough for the others to hear. Tommy turned his chair toward her and reached for her hand, taking it from her lap and clasping both of his around it.

Dr. Carter leaned over in her desk, desperate for Kimberly to understand. She said, "You have to understand, when symptoms continue to persist, like you've described to me, however briefly, then some professional help is needed. Daily functioning is being disrupted here and that's keeping you from having a normal life. It's not going to get easier, Kimberly, unless you open up to someone."

"I've told him!" she argued, her cheeks a blazing crimson. "I told him and I've told you and I've come a l-long freakin' way since I've come home!"

"Nobody is trying to say that isn't true," whispered Tommy soothingly, rubbing the back of her knuckles. She felt the childish need to yank them free, to punish him for, in her mind, taking the doctor's side in all of this. "But she has a point."

"Why does it matter?" she asked suddenly, her doe eyes boring into his own - as though silently begging him to give her the answers to everything left unsaid and unknown. "I'm just going to go home and back to my life anyway. It's not like anything is going to change!"

"But it should."

Three words.

Three small words brought Kimberly to a crossroad.

_But it should_.

It felt like a bubble suddenly enveloped her and she could only catch glimpses of the conversation occurring between Tommy and the doctor. She heard words like 'penile penetration' and 'non-consensual sexual activity' yet none of it really registered to her. Did the terminology really matter when the importance of the discussion revolved around how Kimberly would handle her life from this point forward?

She felt the tears in her eyes much to her surprise. She wasn't aware her body contained any more salt - she figured she must have wore her tear ducts out.

Kimberly thought back to an interesting study she learned during her health education class during her sophomore year of high school. She remembered, sitting in the second row next to a very flustered (and completely endearing) Billy, the history of rape. In ancient times, rape was not so much about the assault on a female, but rather a serious property crime. The father or the husband of the victim was the one wronged, the one who deserved atonement for the heinous offense. Kimberly found it odd and extraordinarily unfair how the woman was violated yet the man received the apology or the compensation. The woman's body was ravished, but it boiled down to the man's pocketbook.

Life is cruel.

What's more, throughout history both women, and men, were forced to somehow prove the crime had been committed against them by force. False reports placed a permanent stigma for those telling the truth, those admitting to having been wronged in such a heartbreaking manner. These days, people regularly report the false accusation level is either a low two percent or a whopping sixty. Alas, a few lies keep a lot of victims silent.

It wouldn't change anything if she opened up to anyone else except make her open to claims against her. Sure, there is physical evidence her body suffered under a brutal attack, but it won't do anything for her now. People will either look at her with pity or with doubt, and she didn't think she'd be able to handle either.

Tommy's hand on her shoulder brought her out of her stupor.

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked, peering over at him.

"Doctor Carter was discussing certain aspects...about why we should continue to seek some, um, treatment," he said slowly, hesitant to have this conversation.

For a few moments she didn't speak, still too dazed by the thoughts running around in her head, but she eventually allowed her mind to catch up with the conversation.

"Treatment? What kind of treatment?"

"I want to be honest with you, but I do need for you to give me the benefit of the doubt," began the doctor, folding her hands together on the desk. After a curt nod from Kimberly, she continued, "I can clearly see a significant amount of self-blame here. Though this is not my specialty, I've done a large amount of research on it. You see, self blame can be both a short term and a long term side effect following sexual assault."

"I don't need a PhD to know that," snapped Kimberly, wiping harshly at her traitorous eyes. When she considered what she said, and how rude she sounded, she murmured a quiet, "Sorry."

"I understand," she said, shaking it off. "Shame can generally be destructive, though, in four ways."

"Which are?"

"Anger, lack of sympathy towards other people, isolation, and, as you've done, the lack of motivation to seek care. Coming forward now is a huge step, but it's obvious you need to keep going if you want to end this miserable head game."

Kimberly wanted to deny those four ideas right then and there, to say none of it related to her, but she couldn't. It would have been a lie. Save for perhaps the empathy, she fell under those categories.

"Therapy would be a great way for you to start. I know some of the best therapists in the area whom could help in so many ways."

"And foregoing counseling could potentially...what?" asked Kimberly hesitantly.

Dr. Carter remained silent, her eyes boring into Kimberly's forehead. She didn't understand why the doctor refused to meet her gaze, but it scared the hell out of her.

"There is an abundance of possibilities."

"Are you afraid of giving me ideas?" she asked callously.

"Yes, if I'm being honest. As a physician, I never like to give input that could possibly turn my patient in the wrong direction. All you need to do right now is continue on this path to help. You've got a friend one chair over who has proved he is here for you. I am willing to continue treating you if you are willing. Kimberly, this was more than just finding out about your body, but about finding out what you can do to help yourself."

With the doctor staring at her and Tommy's hand continuing to rub her knuckles, Kimberly finally figured out her problem:

She put a band-aid on a wound that required stitches.

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The ride back to Tommy's place was a tense, uncomfortable one. He kept throwing glances at her every so often, especially at the pause of a stoplight, but he knew nothing he said would help at the moment. She just got a large dose of reality thrown in her face, and she didn't really know how to deal with it.

Or so he thought.

When they entered his house and moved into the living room together, she turned to him and spoke the words that nearly knocked him backwards.

"I think I'm going to try and open up with some therapy."

While he inwardly did somersaults at the complete turnaround, he kept his composure on the outside. He finally murmured, "Okay. Should we start looking into therapists? Doctor Carter gave me a list before we left and we can call—"

"I wasn't talking about that kind of therapy."

Now Tommy was a little lost.

"What?" he asked, curiously.

She turned from him then, taking a seat on the couch and resumed the process of twiddling her thumbs. He decided to give her space and took a seat on the chair across from her.

"I don't think I'm ready to talk to someone like that. Yet. I mean I will, Tommy, I promise."

"I just want what's best for you, Kim," he told her sincerely.

Nodding, she went on, "I know that. I just...I think it's time that I tell the Rangers."

He did NOT expect her to say that.

For a moment he wondered whether or not if she actually said it. Did he hallucinate? Is he hearing what he desires in his mind?

"Tommy?" she questioned, noting his blank face.

"Are you sure that's what you want? Are you ready for that?"

Shaking her head, she admitted, "I don't think I'm ready for anything. I don't...I hate that I've lied to Jason. I hate that none of the Rangers know me anymore. I hate a lot of things and the truth is...I don't _want _to hate anymore. All this hate and anger turned me into someone I'm not." She turned her head, looking toward the far window of the room. "I don't want to hate myself anymore, Tommy. I made mistakes and I want to rectify them."

"Kimmie," he whispered, rising to his feet and taking a seat next to her, "You've done so much more than I ever could have hoped for. I will follow your lead on this. If you want to tell them, then I'll be right there with you. If you don't, then I'll still be right there with you."

She placed her hand against her own cheek as she leaned into her palm, giving him a warm smile. Mesmerized by her eyes, he waited (literally) on the edge of his seat for her to speak. She finally said, "If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm scared to death at the prospect of telling them. Kind of beyond nervous."

"Rangers stick by one another," he told her, joining her on the couch and grasping her hand. "They will listen to you. I promise."

"You're making an awful lot of those lately," she noted seriously.

"And I've met each and every one of them."

"I know you have, Tommy, but I'm...I want to tell them. I don't want to run anymore."

"Then I'll make the call."

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"So...who is going to be there?" asked Kimberly, chewing on her fingernails and bouncing her leg against the dark passenger seat. A few times Tommy swore he saw her bang her knee into the console, but he didn't bother to comment.

He finally answered, "Everyone is going to be at Jason's, save for Billy." He paused. Then, "I can tell Katherine to stay with him if you don't want her there."

She looked away from him, staring out at the passing trees and the green grass of suburban front lawns. After a while, he wondered if she would even answer before he heard her gently reply, "She's a Ranger. It doesn't matter what my feelings are concerning her or hers concerning me. What matters is that she is a Ranger who's here for Billy and that means she has every right to know if she wants. But um...I certainly won't require her to stay if she doesn't want to."

When a red light forced him to slow to a complete stop, he took the opportunity to turn to his right and save her fingernails from permanent damage. While cars in an assortment of colors passed through the intersection, he spoke to her in a low voice.

"You know, when I came back home to Angel Grove for Billy, a selfish part of me really just came to see you."

"What?"

Nodding, he continued, "I expected to see you all lit up and dressed in pink and looking beautiful, like you always did back in high school."

Dropping her gaze, staring at their hands locked together, she muttered a defeated, "And instead you got a train wreck."

Lifting up her chin, he argued, "Instead I got someone who has been dealt an unfair hand in life. You've been through so much in ten years, inadvertently had to grow up much faster than any of us Rangers. Faster than anybody really should."

"The light is green," she whispered, trying to turn away from his hand.

"Kimberly." He addressed her in the hopes of getting her to meet his eyes, to turn to him. After numerous blaring honks and a few sighs on her part, she finally lifted her face. He went on, "It's okay to be scared about this. You've come a long way from the girl I reconnected with in Billy's room."

"I would hope so," she sniffed, hastily wiping at her eyes. Then she laughed.

"What?" he questioned, laughing with her.

"You better go before the guy behind us rams you down. The light is still green!"

Waving to the car behind him, Tommy hit the gas and the jeep lurched forward, making Kimberly laugh harder. He would answer to any amount of road-rage drivers if it kept her pretty face smiling, especially since their day was about to get harder.

When he phoned Jason to tell him about the situation, he immediately could tell the man had a few reservations. Tommy could practically feel the tension through the phone. When Jason asked to speak to Kim, who was busy napping after her already horrible morning at the doctor's office, and got denied, he grew even more frustrated. Tommy could tell he was just as nervous about her coming clean as he himself was. Funnily enough, it was all about Kimberly rather than the people she'd be telling. What if their reactions set her off? What if Katherine said something hurtful? Though she was a kind person at heart, Tommy knew her grudge against Kimberly, though excessive and unwarranted, ran deeper than she let on. He only hoped she would keep her mouth shut until she knew the whole story.

He didn't know precisely where she wanted to go following the big reveal of her secret. Would she want to go home? Would she want to begin therapy? _Where_ exactly would she start this said therapy? Would she continue to lean on him? Would she forgive him for everything he did and said to her in the past? _Is she even capable of that, _he wondered, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter._ Have I hurt her too badly? __She came with me on this brief trip, opened up to me, but that doesn't mean she can forgive me for those awful things I said to her by the lake?_

Before he knew it, he was pulling in behind Jason's car in his parent's driveway. Several cars lined the front of the house and the surrounding neighborhood, so he knew everyone already arrived.

Turning the key and killing the engine, they took a moment to collect themselves: she continued to fidget while he fiddled with his car keys. She was comfortable in his presence, and vice-versa, but he worried how she'd handle being with their friends again. While nobody in the room would physically hurt her, he knew her phobia against men only excluded him and Jason. Being in the presence of the other male Rangers? Tommy just didn't know.

"Are you ready to do this?"

Shaking her head, she admitted, "I'm not, but I don't think I ever will be. But I was being honest when I said I was sick of running. Of hiding. I won't do it anymore."

"I won't leave your side."

"I know," she said, smiling to herself. "In this instance, I know that's true."

He got out of the car and went to the passenger side, helping her out. As soon as he could, he wrapped his arms around her, clasping her to his chest tightly.

"It's always true, Kim."

As she snuggled beneath his chin, he looked up at the house, afraid all this progress would soon disappear.

* * *

A/N: Wow! I'm pretty proud of myself for knocking this chapter out so fast! I seriously worked on this nearly every day since the last update. Even Christmas! I've been studying my textbooks like crazy, trying to make this as real as possible (not to mention making it understandable), so hopefully it'll be well-received. I know the last two chapters have been a lot of medical jargon and all that, but it's important for the story. Next chapter: Kimberly tells everyone her secret. The reactions may surprise some of you.

I'm so grateful for all the support I've been receiving! You guys seriously rock, and believe me when I say I do read each and every review. They mean a lot to me :P So thanks everyone!

I'm going to attempt to get another chapter out soon. School starts up in another week (BLEH!), but I will try to be better about it. This next quarter is going to suck. What else is new?

Tootles!


	17. Um, reality? Part 2

*Kimberly and Tommy storm in, both madder than hell. Author types furiously away on her computer*

**Kimberly:** Ella!

**Author: **What? I can't exactly talk right now, I'm really busy.

**Kimberly**: Busy? You think you're busy? I'm about to talk to the most important people in my life and you're busy?!

**Tommy:** Calm down, Kimmie. Center yourself.

*Author smirks evilly*

**Author:** I'd like to center you.

**Kimberly:** That's just plain rude.

**Tommy:** We're getting off topic. Ella, what's the deal with the next chapter? I know you have it written.

**Author:** False. I have MOST of it written. I've still got to finish the ending AND I've got to edit. That shit takes time.

**Kimberly:** You've had how many months?

**Author: **Don't get me started. Trust me, as bad as you characters think you've had it, I had it worse.

**Kimberly:** Enlighten me, Miss-I-Have-Had-It-Worse-Than-Pathetic-Kimberly-Hart.

**Author**: Look, hon, I was in my third year of college. I had finals, two jobs, an internship, and two friends died in the span of one week from drunk drivers.

**Tommy:** Ouch.

**Author:** Yeah. Over the summer I got sick, and now I've got very sick family member to deal with and help take care of. I'm about to start my senior year. And I've still got two jobs! Get off my back, woman!

**Kimberly:** Well, I hope you're at least planning on finishing this shit.

**Author:** I have every intention of that. I'm going to plant my ass down eventually when the boss lightens my workload. I've still got two more weeks of summer – I'm trying to enjoy it, considering I haven't been able to do anything save for work for the last two and a half months.

**Tommy:** We understand.

**Kimberly:** No we don't! Can't you hurry your ass up with all of this?

**Author:** Working on it. But you better be nice or I'll write in a scene where Tommy swoops in on Katherine. How do you like that?!

*Kimberly storms off, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like "evil bitch" under her breath. Tommy diligently follows*

* * *

A/N: I KNOW I suck. I'm not even good enough to say I suck. I'm suck backwards. I'm KCUS!

Losing two of my friends in one week really hurt me this past year, so I've been exceedingly down. Now with a family member in critical condition, I'm spending every moment not at work at the hospital. But I promise I'll get this up. It's been a long time coming, I know, and I genuinely appreciate everyone still interested in this story.

FYI: Lost my friends due to drunk drivers - and in both situations, they were the car hit by the drunk drivers. One was just about to graduate high school and the other just graduated college about three days prior. Both drunk drivers walked away injury free. So please, pass on the awareness - don't drink and drive!


	18. Chapter 15: The Secret, Part 2

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**The Secret: Part 2**

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"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."

-Oscar Wilde

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When Kimberly first began her life as the Pink Ranger, numerous feelings overwhelmed her initially. From the unbelievable events defying physics and gravity to the outrageous helmet and body suits demanded to use the power, Kimberly found it hard to not only believe but to conduct herself like a Ranger.

The first time she attempted to fight in the first grade against the snotty Kirsten Heigl, she spent thirty minutes sitting outside the principal's office, waiting for her mother to come get her. Other than that, her physical capabilities were limited solely to cheer squad and gymnastics. She didn't understand how she could be expected to fight alongside people like Jason and Zach.

Looking back now, the most bizarre thing about the entire situation was Kimberly's weird fascination with the desire to have a secret from the rest of the world. From her own world. She liked knowing something big, something everyone else was curious about, and only having to share the secret with some of the closest people to her. During dinner with her family, she would laugh into her napkin whenever her mother would mention something the Power Rangers did over the weekend. On one Christmas, the same Christmas where she shared a delicious kiss with Tommy beneath some mistletoe, she phoned her grandmother only to get an earful about how the Power Rangers virtually saved Christmas.

How Ironic.

Since now Kimberly would give anything to not have this secret, to be on the outside, or to at least have already confessed to the people she still holds so close to her already fragile heart.

"Jason is going to hate me," she murmured into Tommy's jacket as he rubbed her back soothingly.

Shaking his head, he responded, "No he won't. He no doubt will be surprised, but he could _never_ hate you, Kim. He loves you."

"Easy for you to say," she growled, wiping her eyes off his shirt, making him smirk. "You're not in this screwed up situation."

"Who says I'm not?"

"Tommy...I don't...I don't know what to think anymore," she whispered, not meeting his eyes.

He wanted to be someone she could trust.

He wanted her to trust him.

He _needed_ her trust.

For today, he would let her tell the truth and allow Jason to comfort her. Tomorrow, though, he would sit her down and make sure she understood what she meant to him.

"Let's just not think. Why don't you just talk from the heart and tell them whatever flows out of your mouth?" He brushed some of her hair behind her ear, swooping down to place a soft, tender kiss on her forehead.

"You're too good to me," she whispered.

Chuckling, he asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

He sucked in a deep breath when her big eyes captured his own, drowning in the dark depths. Such young, beautiful eyes should not hold the experience and pain he could see in Kimberly's.

Then she nodded her head.

"Yes, it is."

"Why?"

Sniffling, she whimpered, "All good things eventually come to an end."

His heart hurt at her confession, at hearing her subconsciously wishing for less than she deserved just to save herself the pain from the potential loss. He could understand, on a certain level, how she feared for the loss of comfort. Tommy still couldn't see, however, why she feared the loss when he promised her he would help her through all of this.

Rubbing beneath her eyes, her flushed skin hot against his fingertips, Tommy gave her another moment to collect herself. She took a few deep breaths through her lips, swollen from the self-infliction of constant biting, before she met his gaze again. With a curt nod, they walked together up the front pathway, over the porch, and knocked on the door.

Jason answered, his giant smile blinding as he immediately swallowed Kimberly up in a hug. Tommy couldn't explain the irrational surge of jealousy sweeping over him at the sight of another man, even Jason, hugging Kimberly like that. Like he thought he could make the situation easier. Like she needed him over Tommy.

_It's just Jason, _he thought, shaking his head. _I'm being paranoid_. _Besides, he's been there for her throughout this whole thing_. _I can't really say anything on this_.

When Jason pulled back, he didn't let her go, but rather directed her inside by keeping his hand on the small of her back. Tommy clenched his jaw and shut the door, again reminding himself Kimberly needed him. With her phobia, after all, only he himself and Jason could actually touch her without her feeling uncomfortable and freaking out.

The Rangers were situated in the living room, chatting politely as they waited for the rest. Katherine and Aisha were speaking together pleasantly while the others, Trini, Zach, and Rocky, were arguing over the best football team currently in the league. Once Kimberly entered the room, however, an aggravated silence overtook the house.

He could practically see her becoming more and more distressed as the stares landed on her.

"Hey, guys," murmured Tommy, giving a slight nod toward the entire group. He nearly laughed at everyone's greeting.

Aisha smiled sweetly, warily peeking over at Kimberly.

Katherine remained stoic and kept her face blank.

Rocky grinned.

Zach suddenly found an interest in observing the laces of his shoes.

Trini glared at Tommy, while shooting Kimberly pointed yet comforting glances.

And Jason kept his arm around Kimberly.

Tension is essentially defined as anxious feelings and mental worry that make natural, relaxed behavior impossible. Tommy figured someone should have taken a picture of the room for a reference point in the direction for that word.

"It's good to have you guys back," said Rocky, his normally jovial behavior unable to ease the strain. "Jason said you both wanted to talk to us, but he never said about what. Anything big happen while you were away?"

"Considering you were gone for a really long time," growled Trini, still glaring at Tommy like he corrupted her firstborn child.

Deciding this was still Kimberly's time, still her moment, he shrugged and told them honestly, "We planned on coming back, but certain things came up. My work took far longer than I expected."

Trini huffed in annoyance though she didn't say anything else on the matter.

Tommy turned his attention back to Kimberly, whose face gave away the anxiety currently residing in her heart. She looked like a deer caught in headlights...whose paw was caught in a bear trap...while an angry hunter and a hungry bear approached her from opposite sides. She appeared to be facing her executioner rather than old friends.

Clearing his throat, Tommy suggested, "Let's all take seats. Um, we've got a lot to talk about with you all."

"So what's the big news?" asked Katherine in a bored voice. Tommy was grateful to see her eyes impassive and her posture relaxed. The last thing he needed, or any of them needed, was for her to go off on a tangent and make Kimberly close up completely. At least she was acting like an adult. Tommy would thank her later.

Tommy took Kimberly's hand and led her to the couch, while Jason joined the group on the other side. He thought it seemed fitting, having an invisible line separating those who knew about Kimberly's past and those whom still remained in blissful ignorance.

"So what's going on?" asked Aisha, still smiling sweetly at the two of them.

Kimberly, still terrified at what she planned to do, took a moment to collect herself by staring at the people before her.

Her friends.

Her _family_.

It didn't go unnoticed that each of them were dressed according to their previous colors. Whether on purpose or based on a subconscious outlook, she didn't know, but she easily could see they all still hold their Ranger days close to heart.

Aisha wore a basic yellow sweatshirt with 'Georgetown University' written in the school's typical collegiate writing along with plain black pants and black boots. Beside her, Katherine had on a pink tank-top paired with a classic beige sweater and skinny-jeans. Trini, seated with the boys, wore the same outfit as Katherine, though her tank-top came in her signature yellow.

Rocky and Jason were the men in red: Jason wore a red tee-shirt while Rocky wore a plaid red and white button-up over a black wife-beater. Zach, on the other hand, always looking sharp and slick, wore a snazzy black button up beneath an expensive looking leather jacket.

These were her Rangers all grown up.

When did that happen?

"Kim?"

Jason's call brought her back to reality, forcing her to focus her attention solely on telling her story.

_Everything is always easier said than done, _she thought, slapping the inside of her cheek with her tongue. When that failed to calm her, to make her feel alive, she bit her cheek, reveling in the pain it caused. Upon unlocking her teeth, the dull throb in her cheek allowed her to continue feeling something. _Something_.

"Kim, are you all right?"

_Damn it, stay focused! _she berated herself, placing her hand on her stomach and clutching the material with shaking fingers.

She felt the bile rising inside, her stomach churning and her throat burning, making her feel lightheaded. As she panted, she started configuring a plan on convincing Tommy to just tell the Rangers for her. The thought of staring at them all, worried and slightly impatient (she tried not to let Katherine's indifference to the situation upset her. The girl had every right to be angry with her), terrified her more than she thought possible.

As if he could read her mind, she suddenly felt his lips at her ear, whispering, "You can do this, Kimmie. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

_I can get through anything with him by my side_. _I only wish I knew that when I was seventeen_. She shook her head, mad her mind went in that direction. The time of her and Tommy had passed. She needed to start accepting her fate - her life without him.

Taking a deep breath, Kimberly admitted, "I'm not really sure where to start."

Tommy began rubbing her back in soothing circles in the hopes of calming her.

As she sighed, he murmured aloud, "Start from the beginning, Kim."

Nodding, agreeing with him, Kimberly lifted her eyes to the various people around the room. Realizing that the situation would not get any easier or less uncomfortable, she blurted out, "I've been lying to you guys for ten years."

The silence was deafening.

Though many exchanged confused stares, she didn't give them time to question anything. Rather, she continued, "Well, I'm wording it wrong. I lied to you ten years ago and I'm just coming out about it now."

"What do you mean?" asked Trini softly.

"Tell it to them straight, Kim," encouraged Jason, giving her a smile which only made her feel more guilty.

"That's just it, Jason. I've been lying to you, too."

He uncrossed his arms, bemusement etched on his face.

_It's now or never,_ she thought. Her grip on Tommy's hand tightened infinitely.

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The silence felt overwhelming, like being forced into a room of boxed drinks while completely parched. Her friends, people she loved with her whole heart, were around her, but they didn't - couldn't - offer her even a modicum of comfort. Even Tommy, who knew the story probably better than she did, appeared to be reliving the pain all over again. She didn't know what to do, whether to break the silence and apologize yet again or whether to simply run from the room.

She didn't know.

And she felt so tired.

So emotionally drained that all she really wanted was to go to sleep and never wake up again.

_Please, _she thought, pinching her wrist to just feel something, _anything, _other than exhaustion, _just let them say whatever they need and let me be on my way_. _Don't make me endure this for much longer_.

"You never told us," whispered Trini, her mouth hanging open and her hands clamped tightly together in his lap.

Letting out a short, bitter laugh, Kimberly replied, "It's not something I could just...you know, bring up casually."

"Why?" asked Rocky, rising to his feet and pacing in front of the couch, unclenching his fists by his side. "Why couldn't you just tell us? Why hide?"

"It's not something I'm proud of," she admitted.

"It's not like you did anything wrong!" he shouted, forcing the tears out of her eyes. Tommy felt it and while she hoped he would let it go, let something go unnoticed, he immediately went to her defense.

"Cool it, Rock," he warned, rubbing her shoulder.

Shaking his head, punching his right fist into his left palm, he ranted, "No! I will not cool off over this. How could...if you'd just said something—"

"You would have what?" Kimberly asked, cutting him off. "You would have what, Rocky? Go down there and do what?"

"We could have at least gone to the police," reasoned Aisha, rubbing her arms as if to purge a chill.

Kimberly laughed.

She laughed long and hard, making everyone around her - save for Jason, who was still leaning against a wall and staring at a spot on the floor - peer at her questioningly.

When she managed to stop the giggles, she countered, "And what the hell would have come of it? Huh? In case you missed a part of my story, let me be clear about something...I drank a little bit that night! He was older and h-he...it d-didn't matter. It doesn't matter, cause whether or not I told the truth, he would have denied it. I took a shower afterwards and all of the evidence or anything was washed away." Looking directly in Rocky's eyes, she growled between clenched teeth, "I had to get _him _off me."

"And so you think nothing would have happened? You think you're the first girl to take a shower after all this? You think you're the first girl to be under the influence? Kimberly, people know how to deal with this sort of thing."

"You're romanticizing it!" she screamed back, her voice cracking in desperation. Wether it was geared toward making them understand or just out of the need to get out of the room, she didn't know. "You're making it out like this is some fucking movie or C.S.I. episode! No matter how I worded it or went forward or...or whatever, it still would have been my fault!"

"No," growled Tommy, gripping her tighter and shaking his head. "What have I told you about that mentality?"

"It doesn't fucking matter, Tommy," she hissed, rubbing her eyes with the back of her left wrist. "It's over and I screwed up. I can admit to it now. So can I go now?"

With her words, Jason finally peered up at her.

"What?" he asked, his voice deathly calm.

Kimberly, too distraught to even notice his eerie mood, answered, "I just wanted to finally tell you guys. So can I go home now?"

This effectively broke down Jason's walls.

"Are you serious, Kim? You're just going to tell us all of that and walk away? You're going to tell me that and walk away?"

She lifted her head, her eyes snapping his direction. She frowned.

"Jas—"

"I've spent years thinking what you told me happened when really...he was right there the entire time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Kimberly, just as Trini questioned, "You knew about this, Jason?"

Kimberly, her own question forgotten, turned toward her friend, unsure of how to approach the situation. Trini's gaze remained fixated on Jason as she continued, "You didn't tell us? How could you not tell us about this?!"

"It's not like I knew the whole truth," he growled, smacking his right fist into his left palm. "If I had known—"

"Wrong," Trini growled, shaking her head. "You did know. You knew more than any of us, more than me, and you kept it to yourself. What in the hell were you thinking?"

"She told me in confidence and I keep promises," he murmured, unrepentant.

This fueled Trini's rage even more.

"Keep promises?"

"Did I stutter?"

Nearly turning purple, Trini rose to her feet, shouting, "That is bullshit and you know it! You've been keeping this from all of us! It's not fair for you—"

"Well, maybe if you would have gone to see her, questioned her like I did, then she would have confided in you."

Kimberly, terrified from the dramatic turn the conversation took, slipped her knees beneath her chin and began shaking from head to toe. Tommy, observant about everything regarding her, gave her back a gentle squeeze and pulled her closer to him. He was in a pickle, for he didn't want Kimberly to suffer yet he could understand why the Rangers were responding in such a hostile manner. At the very least, he could be thankful their words were directed mostly at each other rather than on Kimberly.

"Are you all right?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Shaking her head, whimpering to herself meekly, she leaned even closer to him. She found comfort in his embrace despite the people around her. He knew then that he either needed them to stop arguing or to get her out of the room.

"Guys," he called to them, anxious to get back on track.

They continued to bicker, ignorant of his attempt to quiet the room.

He tried again, louder, "Guys."

Again, they were oblivious to his attempt, with Trini and Rocky at the forefront, their faces so close they were nearly touching.

"Guys!" he finally yelled, a headache forming.

"What?!" the group barked simultaneously.

"None of you are really helping the situation here." He gave a curt nod toward Kimberly, still sobbing away from her fetal position beside him.

They stopped yelling, but the tension remained just as vicious. Trini sat back down on the couch, placing her face in her hand and dropping her elbows to her knees. Rocky abruptly moved away from the group, taking position behind the couch and pacing like a caged animal. Jason remained stoic, his face returning to his emotionless mask.

"I'm sorry," Kimberly whimpered.

"Stop apologizing," said Jason callously, ignoring Tommy's glare. "Your apologies don't mean much right now and...damn it, Kim, you lied to me."

"And me," growled Rocky.

"Me, too," whispered Trini, following it up with a few sniffs. Such a rare occurrence, seeing Trini cry. She didn't care. She wasn't crying for herself, but for Kimberly. She was crying for her friend, the girl who didn't trust herself to be enough. She was crying for the girl who grew up too fast. She was crying for the girl who had her dream stolen away.

She was crying for the girl who spent ten years alone.

"Kimmie," she began, wiping at the traitorous tears, "I um...what are you going to do now?"

Staring at her toes, still holding her knees tightly, she said, "I, uh, don't really have any big plans right now. I mean I'll stay here with Billy for as long as he needs me and then I'm going home."

"Your home?"

"Jersey," she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

For her, wasn't it?

"Jersey?" questioned Trini, stifling the sniffles. "What—"

"That's where I live," Kimberly interrupted, her knuckles white from grasping so tightly on her jeans.

She stared at her incredulously for a long while, unable to think of the right words. When coherency returned, she heatedly told her, "Home is not a place, you idiot! It's about the people around you and—"

"And so you want me to what? Go where? Go to Paris to be with my mom? Or come here, where nobody lives anymore?! It's not like high school, Trini. We all moved, we went our separate ways and started our own lives."

"No," she growled bitterly, pushing her dark hair behind her ears. "Some of us went our separate ways and some of us started our own lives. Some of us just _ran away_."

Kimberly dropped her face onto her knees and started to sob, cringing away from Tommy's attempt to comfort. Trini hit the nail on the head - Kimberly did run away. She knew it. They knew it.

Everyone knew it.

Tommy, hurt from Kimberly pulling away from his comfort and anger at his friends for being completely inconsiderate to her feelings, fumed. Did they not understand the guts it took for her to admit her deepest, darkest secret to them? Did they not realize just how much pain she went through? What she was _still_ going through?

Her courage, her desire to finally open up, was turning into a complete and total disaster.

She wasn't ready for this type of pressure.

Just as he opened his mouth to tell her...anything, she suddenly flew off the couch and ran up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door behind her. The moment she was finally alone, away from the fighting, accusations, and pity, she dropped her face into her knees and cried.

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Um....so, it's been awhile. Okay, that's probably a bit of an understatement. I haven't forgotten this story, I promise, and I WILL finish it. I can't believe I started this in 2007 - that seems like a lifetime ago. I truly appreciate everyone that still has an interest, still reads, and still reviews.


	19. Chapter 16: Imagine

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**Imagine**

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_But who can distinguish between falling in love and imagining falling in love? Even genuinely falling in love is the act of imagination."_

_ -John Irving_

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"It's unforgivable."

"What's unforgiveable?" asked Tommy, his voice hoarse in exasperation. "The crime? I'm fairly confident we all know that, Trini."

"No. What's unforgiveable is you not telling us."

Rolling his eyes, he let out a frustrated laugh, leaning back and offering her a glare that would have spooked Ivan Ooze into submission.

"You act like I knew."

"You clearly di-"

"I was told days ago. I was told with her confidence and I was not about to betray her trust by informing _you_. I mean, I recognize how_ close_ you two are, but-"

"Don't you dare throw that in my face!" Trini screeched, rising from her seat in fury. "I tried to stay in contact. I sent her letters and emails and received nothing in return."

"Join the club," growled Tommy, clenching his fists. "None of us knew the truth. And if I'd known then what I know now, I would have gone to Florida and beaten him within an inch of his life."

A silence overwhelmed the group, only the sounds of the grandfather clock ticking moment-by-moment filling the uncomfortable quiet. A million thoughts were running through their minds, but nobody could put their precise feelings into words.

The sounds of sobbing from the floor above did not aid their efforts.

"What's done is done," murmured Katherine, shocking her friends. "We can't go back and change things. We can't take anything back. However, we can help her move forward."

"Like you even care, bitch," snarled Trini, chewing on her nails.

"I do care," she continued, ignoring Trini's hostility. "Clearly I have misjudged her, and I'd like to make amends. I am not going to delude myself into thinking she'll want my help, because I wouldn't want my help…but I will help you all help her. Whatever you need me to do."

"How about go away?" offered Trini.

"You see, that right there will _not_ help."

"Rocky finally has something to say?"

"Just because I don't speak much doesn't mean I don't have something to say. And I think Kat's right. We need to find a way to help her and she most likely won't want our help. None of us were there for her when she needed us, save for maybe Jason."

Tommy nodded, cringing inwardly at not being the man Kimberly needed.

"Jase?"

The attention turned towards their former leader. He was still standing with his arms crossed, muscles flexing and jaw twitching every few moments. He looked angrier than any of them, including Tommy, had ever seen him.

"Jason?"

"What?" he hissed bitterly.

"You don't have anything to say?"

"About what?" he asked, letting out a deep sigh. "About that girl up there I've spent years trying to get to come home? The girl up there who lied to me about what happened to her? The girl up there that knew I would have done anything for her?"

"Maybe that's why she didn't say anything," offered Aisha, her insight sparking something in Jason.

"Then why in the flying fuck would she not have said something? 'Cuz she knew I would have done something?"

"Maybe," she went on, undeterred by his elevated volume. "Maybe she knew you would kill him. Maybe she worried about getting you involved. Maybe she had a lot of worries; and like many women that have been dealt this hand maybe she was ashamed. Maybe she was scared. Maybe she didn't know what to do."

"She's had years to figure it out."

"Time doesn't heal all wounds despite the saying," she continued softly. "Some things stay with us, and I imagine this would be one of them."

The silence continued.

Kimberly's sobs ceased.

Tommy figured she must have cried herself to sleep and hoped she was granted happy dreams. He desperately wanted to lay with her, offer her some comfort, but he needed to deal with the Rangers first. Without any of them in the right frame of mind, it was unlikely they would come to any sort of agreement in terms of helping Kimberly.

His long fingers ran over his face, his exhaustion finally catching up with him.

"I don't think anybody can help her tonight. She's tired and upset, and it's probably best if we figure all of this out tomorrow."

Most of the group nodded in accord, many stifling yawns as their own drowsiness caught up with them.

"We only have so much time here, Tommy. I have to get back to work," said Zach, acknowledging the truth.

"We're here to help Billy and I promise I haven't forgotten that. Why don't we spend tomorrow focusing on him, and leave the worries about Kim to me."

"You know we can't do that. All for one and one for all. When a Ranger is in need, we help."

"I know," he said, tugging at the waistband of his jeans as he stood up. "And we will figure out how to help Kim. But I think we all need a time out. You all were blindsided today by what she told you, and if we bombard her too fast, she'll run."

And so help him, he did _not_ want to lose her again.

He couldn't.

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When Kimberly woke up, she noticed three things:

One: that her throat and eyes burned so badly she worried for a moment she cried herself sick. A glutton for punishment, she normally would have welcomed the viral intrusion, but with Billy's weakened state, she could not afford to get sick. She came home to help him. If the nurses saw her so much as cough outside his hospital room, they would kick her out faster than a roundhouse kick.

Two: The house was unreasonably quiet. Not so much as even a fan seemed to be blowing; leading her to believe the rest of the Rangers had taken off.

Three: The weight of the world, the heavy secrets she carried on her back for the last ten years, still pushed on her like a monkey poking continuously on her neck. Maybe more like an elephant.

Just the thought of untying her shoelaces and pulling on a pair of sweats depleted all her energy, leaving her more tired than before she fell asleep.

"Told you they'd hate you," she whispered in the darkness.

Pushing the covers back, she heaved herself up out of bed, her jeans sticking to the backs of her knees and leaving indentations on her hips. Her muscles ached as though she ran ten miles without stretching beforehand.

Needless to say, she was eager to walk the kinks out and get a glass of water.

As she descended the stairs, she cast a glance in the living room, spotting familiar black shoes peaking over the arm of the couch. With the stealth of the crane, she crept towards the boots, frowning when she discovered Tommy tossing restlessly beneath a scratchy afghan. Even in the darkness she thought the midnight blue of the blanket looked striking beside his gorgeous complexion.

Tommy truly belonged in the Smithsonian.

_He certainly doesn't belong in my world._

Eager to return to bed and wallow in self-deprecation, she made a move to exit.

"Why do I feel like you're thinking bad thoughts?"

Kimberly questioned whether she knew on a subconscious level she'd woken him for his voice did not send her into a fit of hysterics. She hardly even flinched.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"I haven't slept much anyway," he told her, stretching his long arms over his head.

"When did everyone leave?"

"Hours ago. It's nearly two."

Kimberly nodded, unsure what else to see. She hardly wanted to discuss earlier conversations but she knew avoidance got her into the mess in the first place.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Tommy saw her shoulders slump, defeat dripping from the top of her pretty head to the soles of her feet.

"I'm starting to think you don't even mean the apology."

She jerked her eyes up, a look of horror crossing her features.

"Of course I mean it! You've done so much and-"

His laughter cut through her words, bringing a level of comfort and confusion to her. When she asked for the joke, he continued to laugh recklessly. Before long, she joined in, giggling despite her dark feelings.

When she caught her breath, she murmured, "I really am sorry, Tommy."

"I know you are, sweet girl. I just don't think you have anything to be sorry for."

"I do. I mean...it's more than just being sorry for earlier, when I ran away like a coward. I'm sorry for running away when I was seventeen. I'm sorry for the letter. I'm sorry for keeping secrets."

Relaxed from his bout with laughter, Tommy leaned back on the couch, propping his feet on a two-month old copy of _Entertainment Weekly_.

"Kimberly, today you just told the Rangers what you've been hiding for a decade. You told them the secret that has been haunting you, keeping you from living the life you deserve."

She blinked, too tired to even nod her head.

"I think instead of guilt, you should be feeling pride. 'Cuz I'm damn proud of you, Kim. You have nothing to apologize for."

She hardly knew what to say. A part of her wanted to argue, tell him he had it all wrong, while the other wanted to say thank you.

For saying such kind things.

For giving her hope.

For being her friend.

For being Tommy.

Instead she said:

"Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if it never happened."

"That's natural," he told her. "What do you imagine?"

She heaved a long breath, letting her checks fill with air before expelling, momentarily looking like a hamster. Tommy smiled.

"I imagined going on and winning maybe a bronze at Pan Global. I was good, but I'm not delusional; I don't think I would have won the gold. But I think I might have won a bronze."

"Definitely," he agreed.

She smiled, continuing, "And I imagined coming home and going to college with you. I imagined being _that_ couple with you on campus. Maybe not the total cliché of frat guy and sorority chick, but…we would have been the couple to watch."

"How…how far have you imagined us?"

Her blush alerted him of her embarrassment.

"You were the only guy I thought about, Tommy."

He smirked, gently rubbing the back of her hand.

"Did you only think of me as a last resort? I'm wounded, Kim."

The corners of her mouth lifted in a soft smile, appreciative of his humor. She liked sitting beside him like this, talking about nothing and everything. She felt normal, and for Kimberly feeling normal was appreciated.

"Even if I used to date Brad Pitt, I still would have thought of you."

"I beat Pitt? That's a feat I never thought would happen."

"I think you would have kicked his ass in _Fight Club_."

"Now you're just talking crazy," he chuckled, his gentle tracings on her hand a contrast to his boisterous laughter.

Her smile turned wistful.

"I imagined we would have graduated and you would have asked me to marry you."

Tommy's fingers stilled.

"I imagined you holding a ring with a pink stone and me all dressed up, letting my inner teenager peak out for only just a moment when I squealed in delight. It probably would have been a screech, but I'm going to go with squealed."

Tommy held his breath.

"I probably would have snooped and found the ring early so I would have pretended to be surprised. You would have rolled your eyes, spotting my lie immediately, and smiled because you…you'd love me for who I am."

She was barely whispering.

"And when I said yes, you would have taken me in your arms and swung me around, laughing and happy. We both would have been happy."

His Adam's apple bobbed with his harsh swallow.

"We would have been married at night under the stars. We could dance the night away beneath silk tents, sparkling with lights and glitter. Zach would have asked me to dance first and you would have growled, playfully of course, telling him no…that you got the first dance.

"Finally the Rangers would have approached us and we would have toasted, a private moment celebrating everything we went through together. No words, no tears, no hugs. We just would have paid tribute to what brought us together."

A lone tear trailed down her cheek.

Something in Tommy's head was blaring at him to stop her while his heart fought, begging him to wait.

To let her finish.

To finally give her a choice.

"And we would have gone on our honeymoon to some place warm, tropical, that had a lot of sun. And when we got back, you would have gone back to the hospital and I would have gone back to teaching environmental biology."

Two more tears fell, but she made no effort to stop them.

"Eventually we would have had kids. A boy and a girl, and I recognize how cliché that is," she laughed lightly, sniffling.

He shook his head, his own eyes watering.

"I would have wanted to name her Joyce because it means joyful. A-and I would have—" she paused, letting out a heavy breath, the water stinging her eyes, "—would have named him Isaac because it means laughter.

"And we would have been happy. I would have been _so_ happy."

With those words she turned towards him, teary-eyed and more vulnerable than ever before.

"I've imagined, Tommy. When you're alone everyday you have a lot of time to imagine. And it was a good life."

The bottom of his stomach felt heavy with lead, poisoning him from the inside out. His eyeballs felt ready to explode, stinging from the salt of tears desperate to drop. Despite years of experience dealing with chaotic situations and fierce villains, Kimberly's heartfelt words, spoken with a longing so strong it was practically palpable, managed to tear at his very soul.

She did not tell him the life she imagined – she told him the life she wanted.

When his mind wrapped around that concept, he felt sick to his stomach. It took every bit of willpower to not bolt from the room to empty the contents of his stomach.

Without any hope or dreams, what was Kimberly living for?

She imagined this life with him, an ideal and completely reasonable life, yet her voice held not one ounce of optimism. In her heart she did not believe she'd ever achieve such a life.

_And why would she?_ he thought, _when you gave up on her. The one person who should have known her better than anyone else did not give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm an idiot._

Light sniffling resounded in the dark room.

"I imagined it, too."

He hardly recognized his hoarse voice so the confusion and disbelief across her features did not surprise him.

"I imagined that life with you. I imagined coming home to you everyday, kissing your lips, and playing catch with our kids.

"I imagined our wedding. I would have written checks while you picked out everything pink and white. I think most of our family and friends would have chalked it up to your more…_girlish_ tendencies, but we, along with the Rangers, would have known you were paying homage to our former roles."

Her eyes glistened like diamonds. Tommy thought her heartbreakingly beautiful.

"I imagined taking you somewhere far away, somewhere peaceful. It wouldn't have been a beach but a castle in Ireland, surrounded by a green meadow."

"Tommy," she whimpered, fighting the sobs from bursting through her chest.

"I would have carried you over the threshold, laid you gently on the bed. The moment I reached for you you would have ran away, probably giggled, making me chase you to the window. And when you stepped out on the terrace, staring at that…open meadow, free from worries and problems and open to the stars…"

Barely an exhale, "Yes?"

"I imagined showing you not only how much I love you, but how a man really is meant to treat a woman. I wouldn't let you be afraid."

Tommy finished, "I imagined it all."

Kimberly, caught up in his words, the beautiful life he imagined, did not even notice Tommy cradle her neck and pull her towards him.

0000000

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* * *

A/N: So it's been awhile, eh? Can my excuse be that I spent all my time trying to graduate? With honors? We're talking - Latin, my major, AND my minor type honors? Yeah, I rocked my graduation.

Any-who, thank you to those still reading this. I truly appreciate it and I'm hoping to have another update for you soon.

Tootles!


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